Complicated divorce, need advice?

I have recently asked my husband for a divorce. It was a relationship that was very unhealthy and codependent, unsupportive, and never should have happened. I married a man who had cheated on me with multiple women, who took advantage of me financially, and had been physically and verbally abusive. So, I've found the inner strength and self respect to finally leave. The complicated part, is that I am corresponding with a man that I went to highschool with. We have limited it to emails and text messages and we have formed a repectful friendship, there is NO sexual references, he knows everything that is going on with my marriage/ divorce and is very respectful and just provides support. But I still feel SO GUILTY about this. I've read that codependent women will still feel guilty for things like this. I also want to do things ';right'; for all involved. I don't know if I may ever have a future with this other man, but I am also afraid of him losing respect for me because I am talking to him before the divorce is final. Any thoughts? I have NO intentions on meeting with this other man. He lives in a different state currently, but we are from the same home town. This man is very respectful of my current situation and is just so nice and I really value his friendship right now.Complicated divorce, need advice?
GUILT IS A USELESS EMOTION. what have you done wrong.Complicated divorce, need advice?
feeling guilty???


y do you feel guilty to a man you wanted to divorce.. if you want to divorce you have to be ready to move on and be alone again..





re this other man.. i think you're actually inflating the thing because you feel you need someone to hang on to.. which is understandable, however please be and live what you're going through independently of this other man.. coz if you lose him too then you'll have to deal with too much at once.
There's nothing wrong with talking to him. You need a shoulder to lean on and it sounds like he understands. Just make it clear to him that you will need time after the divorce to let your heart heal. Good Luck and congratulations on getting up the nerve to get out of that marriage. ;)
I commend your effort to stand up against your abuser. Dont feel guilty he wont change. Just be very careful!! I too am a codependant personality and we tend to go and attract the same type of mates over and over. I would get professional help for yourself to make sure you dont jump into the same fire. Just stay friends with the other guy right now. Good luck and stay safe!!
If the two of you are just talking you have nothing to feel guilty about. You were going through a bad marriage. Your friend was there for emotional support; as good friends do. It's all good, as far as I can see.
Hey looks like you found a good guy. Don't feel guilty it's YOUR turn to be happy. Don't look back but look forward! Good luck.
Everyone needs someone to bare their soul to at times like this and I see nothing wrong with it.
Stop beating yourself up, girl! You are TALKING with someone, for heaven's sake. You are not doing anything wrong. Good for you that you are maintaining your values about getting through your divorce. Kick your loser husband to the curb, hold your head up and enjoy your renewed friendship with your high school friend. Watch your feelings, though, because you are not even close to being ready for a new significant relationship. Is it possible that you have fantasies about being rescued by this guy and THAT is the source of your guilt?