WHy have divorce meditation when all you need to know is you get half and he gets half of evertything you both own. Except teh kids, mostly they go with the Mother depends on the judge.Does anyone have advice on doing a divorce mediation in Texas?
Sure.
For sure use a mediating attorney --- same attorney for you both. As well, each of you ought to have downloaded divorce papers for your state from the internet, gotten them from an office supply place or at the county court house in the county in which you live. And as well, you and he ought to have sat down together to decide who gets what. If you each get an attorney, and get into what is called the adversarial stance, the $5000 you mentioned would be just one side, and just for starters!!!!! It is never in your best interest to go to court NEVER.
So,have a look at those papers, before you make your appointment with your mediating attorney, because the less time and effort he has to spend hammering out agreements between you, the less it will cost... usually somewhere between $75-300 depending upon state and county. Call around, look in the yellow pages under attorney -- divorce -- mediating.
You and he may decide to fill none of it out, that you agree privately on the split, and each trusts the other... (if you cana't trust him, then get the blanks filled out.)Does anyone have advice on doing a divorce mediation in Texas?
The link below should answer all of your questions.
http://www.divorcelawtexas.com/txpages/D鈥?/a>
The biggest thing in divorce mediation is to learn the fine art of compromising. Be willing to trade something you really dont want but they do in return for something you do want. Dont settle for everything but go for what you want. Go for all you want as in the end youll end up with majority of what you want.Dont appear too eager to trade,let the other party start first and see what they offer.Remember they too will be trying to get what they want so negoiate and compromise. Good luck
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Please I need advice, contemplating divorce?
I feel there are things my husband is hidding from me. Like he may not be telling the whole truth or no where near the truth. He and I have had disagreements before and I told him I would deal with a drug addiction (weed), its minimal but he still does it, I dont like it at all. He has 3 kids and I have one and one on the way with him but is up for adoption. I feel fed up. Not knowing if he could be cheating on me. I feel insecure about myself although i dont think im ugly, but i feel like hes not into me anymore. i feel he talks to females online which he knows offends me. I love him but dont know what to do, please help...Please I need advice, contemplating divorce?
Say a prayer, then talk to him. He may have something really bothering him and that is why he acts that way. Give him the benefit of the doubt.Please I need advice, contemplating divorce?
I will say a prayer for you and your husband. I can feel your pain in the question. I wish you the best of luck.
Um, where to start....
You need to talk to him...possibly try couples counseling. But bottom line is, if he is making you feel bad about yourself then he can't be good for you.
I would have a sit down one on one with him and tell him that What you want and need to change and give him a chance to tell him you will leave if it doesn't don't stay in a relationship that isn't good for good ...
Say a prayer, then talk to him. He may have something really bothering him and that is why he acts that way. Give him the benefit of the doubt.Please I need advice, contemplating divorce?
I will say a prayer for you and your husband. I can feel your pain in the question. I wish you the best of luck.
Report Abuse
Um, where to start....
You need to talk to him...possibly try couples counseling. But bottom line is, if he is making you feel bad about yourself then he can't be good for you.
I would have a sit down one on one with him and tell him that What you want and need to change and give him a chance to tell him you will leave if it doesn't don't stay in a relationship that isn't good for good ...
Stay at home mom needs legal advice on divorce proceedings: Where do I begin?
I am a stay at home mom who has not worked outside the home since our three children were born. My marriage is on the rocks and my husband has become increasingly verbally abusive and is threatening me w/ finances as a way to control me. I feel divorce at this time is my only option. We are currently seperated and have sought no legal counsel up to this point. However, with everyday that goes by he is more controlling over finances and I don't feel safe in the house we own together. He acts like he can barge in at any given time noon or night as he sees fit raising all kinds of hell! How do I go about moving my children and myself out of the house and to a place I could afford after the divorce since I have no means of income not controlled by him? He has a very sucesssful company but I am not involved with it in the least.Stay at home mom needs legal advice on divorce proceedings: Where do I begin?
There are steps that are needed:
1. Make up your mind you are done with him.
2. Buy some type records an place them through out the house. The tapes will speak for themselves in court.
3. Get a safety deposit box at a local bank.
4. Photocopy ALL bank statements, ALL important letters, ALL important document, record ALL calls. Keep a daily journal.
5. Please all information in YOUR safety deposit box which is at the local bank.
6. Get a POST Office box.
7. After have a few recording, with ALL the abuse.
8. Get as much money as possible the bank account- and keep a log of how it was spent.
9. Get an ';Emergency restraining order';
10. Go file child support in first day---call your county-No lawyer is needed--------the county is there for Children
11. Change the locks on the door, and change the Alarm code
12. Call a family member or a friend to come stay with you for a week of so. If not go stay with family for a week or so.
13. Get a ';FEMALE attorney.
14. You DO NOT have the right to give your husband YOUR children home. The house is for the children. So selling the home is NOT possible.
Tell, your attoney:
You want him to pay for the chidren education-college for them, he needs to finish pay for the house, cars, and pay for you to go to college. You need to know go back to school to get ready to get into the work force to support your childrenStay at home mom needs legal advice on divorce proceedings: Where do I begin?
Make up in your mind that you truly want out of the marriage and go to your court house and get the divorce papers fill them out get them certified for irreconcilable differences and have them served to him, then get your restraining order to have him stay away from you. It's the cheapest way out.
Don't move out of the house. Simply have the locks changed. And get advice from a lawyer pronto. The reason why your husband is acting this way is he knows you're entitled to a big chunk of money once the divorce comes through. Don't let him intimidate you to the point where you'll be out in the cold without a cent. It's going to be tough, I know, but you have to be strong for your kids and fight for their rights along with your own.
With your two kids you are able to get state help. They will give you an apt and job training. As far as the house goes, you may want to consider staying with somewhere else, like family. Threatening you with fiances is the only way to hurt you, he has nothing else. Let him know that you don't need him or anything. Your a strong woman who will bounce back. You could also try a restraining order too, that is always an option.
See an attorney. Ask your friends about one, look through the internet, find yourself a divorce attorney. The fact that you don't have money and he does shouldn't be a handicap. Husbands usually wind up paying all costs of the divorce anyway. So find an attorney, tell him/her your story and follow the advice. Get recommendations of at least two or three attorneys and talk to all of them. Go for the one you feel most comfortable with. Good luck.
First of all do NOT move. Secondly seek legal counsel. YOU are entitled to stay in the family home with your children and you are also entitled to have the locks changed on that home if you choose to do so. But you need a LEGAL seperation to begin with. In the seperation papers it will state that ';neither party may harrass or humiliate the other'; which means he does NOT have the right to enter the home without your permission for purposes to bother you. YOU DO Have means of income because any money brought into the marriage is considerd a marital asset and will be divided 50/50. Even if YOU do not work. Anything in ANY bank account he owns is a marital asset. When you get your lawyer he will instruct you on what you need to do and you can at that time ask the lawyer to do a ';discovery'; on all of your husband's assets. Hopefully you're smart enough to have your husband's social security number because that is the way they will do the financial search and any financial holdings under that number will be brought up and you will get 50 % of. So, sit tight, see a lawyer and good luck.
Ok, here's what to do if yo are in Australia.
Go to Centrelink and apply for the pension, it might take a while for it to go through so you might have to stay with friends or family while it happens. You will need friends and family to verify that the two of you have seperated to Centrelink. Then go to Legal Aid and tell them your story and that you need representation for custody of the kids and to settle assets. If you need to vent about stuff call parentline, I can't think of the name atm, it might help if you googled it, they are fantastic and give heaps of free advice.
I hope this has helped.
BB
Tam
oh honey, you sound a lot like me (some years ago)
i am hoping you can find a counseling center (i'm serious) i don't know what it would be called where you live - here it was community services, which can set you up w/free legal advice - even appear in court with you. lawyers cost c.$200/hr and require a retainer before they even take your case!
they will advise you also about staying in the house with the children - he will need to be the one to move out.
you do need an advocate because he will not take this lying down.
the divisions of assets will be determined by how long you were married, etc. and you should get a fair decision -always in favor of the children.
i been there..you will be o.k. work quietly behind the scenes to protect yourself and your kids.
There are steps that are needed:
1. Make up your mind you are done with him.
2. Buy some type records an place them through out the house. The tapes will speak for themselves in court.
3. Get a safety deposit box at a local bank.
4. Photocopy ALL bank statements, ALL important letters, ALL important document, record ALL calls. Keep a daily journal.
5. Please all information in YOUR safety deposit box which is at the local bank.
6. Get a POST Office box.
7. After have a few recording, with ALL the abuse.
8. Get as much money as possible the bank account- and keep a log of how it was spent.
9. Get an ';Emergency restraining order';
10. Go file child support in first day---call your county-No lawyer is needed--------the county is there for Children
11. Change the locks on the door, and change the Alarm code
12. Call a family member or a friend to come stay with you for a week of so. If not go stay with family for a week or so.
13. Get a ';FEMALE attorney.
14. You DO NOT have the right to give your husband YOUR children home. The house is for the children. So selling the home is NOT possible.
Tell, your attoney:
You want him to pay for the chidren education-college for them, he needs to finish pay for the house, cars, and pay for you to go to college. You need to know go back to school to get ready to get into the work force to support your childrenStay at home mom needs legal advice on divorce proceedings: Where do I begin?
Make up in your mind that you truly want out of the marriage and go to your court house and get the divorce papers fill them out get them certified for irreconcilable differences and have them served to him, then get your restraining order to have him stay away from you. It's the cheapest way out.
Don't move out of the house. Simply have the locks changed. And get advice from a lawyer pronto. The reason why your husband is acting this way is he knows you're entitled to a big chunk of money once the divorce comes through. Don't let him intimidate you to the point where you'll be out in the cold without a cent. It's going to be tough, I know, but you have to be strong for your kids and fight for their rights along with your own.
With your two kids you are able to get state help. They will give you an apt and job training. As far as the house goes, you may want to consider staying with somewhere else, like family. Threatening you with fiances is the only way to hurt you, he has nothing else. Let him know that you don't need him or anything. Your a strong woman who will bounce back. You could also try a restraining order too, that is always an option.
See an attorney. Ask your friends about one, look through the internet, find yourself a divorce attorney. The fact that you don't have money and he does shouldn't be a handicap. Husbands usually wind up paying all costs of the divorce anyway. So find an attorney, tell him/her your story and follow the advice. Get recommendations of at least two or three attorneys and talk to all of them. Go for the one you feel most comfortable with. Good luck.
First of all do NOT move. Secondly seek legal counsel. YOU are entitled to stay in the family home with your children and you are also entitled to have the locks changed on that home if you choose to do so. But you need a LEGAL seperation to begin with. In the seperation papers it will state that ';neither party may harrass or humiliate the other'; which means he does NOT have the right to enter the home without your permission for purposes to bother you. YOU DO Have means of income because any money brought into the marriage is considerd a marital asset and will be divided 50/50. Even if YOU do not work. Anything in ANY bank account he owns is a marital asset. When you get your lawyer he will instruct you on what you need to do and you can at that time ask the lawyer to do a ';discovery'; on all of your husband's assets. Hopefully you're smart enough to have your husband's social security number because that is the way they will do the financial search and any financial holdings under that number will be brought up and you will get 50 % of. So, sit tight, see a lawyer and good luck.
Ok, here's what to do if yo are in Australia.
Go to Centrelink and apply for the pension, it might take a while for it to go through so you might have to stay with friends or family while it happens. You will need friends and family to verify that the two of you have seperated to Centrelink. Then go to Legal Aid and tell them your story and that you need representation for custody of the kids and to settle assets. If you need to vent about stuff call parentline, I can't think of the name atm, it might help if you googled it, they are fantastic and give heaps of free advice.
I hope this has helped.
BB
Tam
oh honey, you sound a lot like me (some years ago)
i am hoping you can find a counseling center (i'm serious) i don't know what it would be called where you live - here it was community services, which can set you up w/free legal advice - even appear in court with you. lawyers cost c.$200/hr and require a retainer before they even take your case!
they will advise you also about staying in the house with the children - he will need to be the one to move out.
you do need an advocate because he will not take this lying down.
the divisions of assets will be determined by how long you were married, etc. and you should get a fair decision -always in favor of the children.
i been there..you will be o.k. work quietly behind the scenes to protect yourself and your kids.
Divorce (pls advice)?
I have a friend that is married and no longer with his partner. They have been married for approx. 3 years now, since then my friend has been paying the mortgage and all the household bills, while the other woman works but saves her money. He now wants a divorce and she is trying to take half of the equity of the house is she entitled to it. Her name is not on the deeds or anything. And she tried to lock him out of the house so he does not come round P.s they have one child and he has been keeping up with the child support payments.Divorce (pls advice)?
If they bought the house together, she's entitled to half. If the house was his prior to the marriage AND she's not on the deed or the mortgage, she's entitled to little, if anything.
Also, she can change the locks all she wants, it's his house, so he can just call the locksmith and have keys made. What he needs to do now is protect himself from false accusations of abuse. Once that happens and she files for a restraining order ex-parte, he can lose access to his house and his children in the short-term, and that will usually translate to the same long-term.
He needs an attorney and a good one experienced in dealing with a high conflict divorce.
I think right now in this country and abroad, marriage %26amp; having children is a scary proposition whether you live together or not.
Today, the divorce rate is so high due to no-fault divorce. If you have kids, for women - that means they hold all the cards. A man today has to realize that, love and ';the dream'; aside, the risks to men/fathers far outweigh the rewards. Check the source - some great books and other resources on just this issue.
Family court is tilted heavily in favor of women/mothers. Moms have all the rights, get all the benefits, and dad is too often relegated to a visitor in his children's lives while being an ATM machine for mom. He can lose half (or more) of the cash, cars, house, investments, etc... and worse - the children.
Seriously, if I had known then what I know now about how the divorce machine sucks in fathers, grinds them up, and spits them out so unceremoniously, I would have never gotten married. I would have given up my dream of having a family.
With no-fault divorce (the biggest killer of marriage and families) you don't need an excuse anymore to get a divorce. You just don't have to feel like being married anymore - and with that reality comes the truth - a marriage is no longer a contract, so what's the point except to put yourself and your future at risk when someone ';doesn't feel like it anymore?'; With women (who have children) initiating almost 3/4 of divorces today (most men don't even see it coming), it's the smart man who chooses not to get married and certainly not have children... and that's a shame.
This affects men, women, and children alike. It affects everyone and people need to wake up to that reality. I know that there are lousy men and lousy fathers in this world - but make no mistake - the are plenty of lousy women and lousy mothers in this world and we should all be treated the same way (good or bad) and that simply isn't happening today.Divorce (pls advice)?
Anything bought during the marriage is called marital property and it will be divided equally. However when children are involved 95% of the time the one with custody of children end up with the house. The court system first priority is the children. Need to hire a good attorney.
He best get an attorney...NOW!
a guys point of view............rax............theres a lot of factors to bring into light here...if she has been legally married to him these past 3 years and the child is his and even if the house were bought before they were married she can get 1/2 of most if not all assets accumulated since the marriage unless there is a pre-nump that was signed by then before the marriage...but even with a pre-nump she will possably get half if not more...and lets not forget the child...if its his...does she live in an allimony state? can she prove he was abusive in any way? there are a number of factors to concider...tell him to get the best attorney he can find (preferbally a woman) and do unto her as she would do unto him...then tell him not to settle for nothing less that full or joint costody for the child...but get a lawyer NOW...be safe...be kind...and i wish you love...
get a lawyer
get a lawer NOW!
UK, half of everything he owns belongs to her even though she hasn't paid a penny, she can even claim his company pension if he has one. Legally she has to let him in the house if he wants to, unless there is a court order saying different - Been there done that etc.
He needs to get a lawyer
He needs to move back into his house whether she likes it or not since her name is not on the deed and he is paying the bills.
He needs to stop paying bills until he gets legal advice. What he does in the separation period becomes the foundation for the divorce. She will owe him half of those bills.
It depends--if your friend can show that she paid all the bills pertaining to the house for the last 3 years she might be entitled to 1/2 of those expenses in addition to half the equity. It will take a lawyer to secure her money and the child's rights to steady child support.
You ';friend'; is going to get screwed and wife will get half the equity.
But what does nay of that have to do with you?red lipstick
If they bought the house together, she's entitled to half. If the house was his prior to the marriage AND she's not on the deed or the mortgage, she's entitled to little, if anything.
Also, she can change the locks all she wants, it's his house, so he can just call the locksmith and have keys made. What he needs to do now is protect himself from false accusations of abuse. Once that happens and she files for a restraining order ex-parte, he can lose access to his house and his children in the short-term, and that will usually translate to the same long-term.
He needs an attorney and a good one experienced in dealing with a high conflict divorce.
I think right now in this country and abroad, marriage %26amp; having children is a scary proposition whether you live together or not.
Today, the divorce rate is so high due to no-fault divorce. If you have kids, for women - that means they hold all the cards. A man today has to realize that, love and ';the dream'; aside, the risks to men/fathers far outweigh the rewards. Check the source - some great books and other resources on just this issue.
Family court is tilted heavily in favor of women/mothers. Moms have all the rights, get all the benefits, and dad is too often relegated to a visitor in his children's lives while being an ATM machine for mom. He can lose half (or more) of the cash, cars, house, investments, etc... and worse - the children.
Seriously, if I had known then what I know now about how the divorce machine sucks in fathers, grinds them up, and spits them out so unceremoniously, I would have never gotten married. I would have given up my dream of having a family.
With no-fault divorce (the biggest killer of marriage and families) you don't need an excuse anymore to get a divorce. You just don't have to feel like being married anymore - and with that reality comes the truth - a marriage is no longer a contract, so what's the point except to put yourself and your future at risk when someone ';doesn't feel like it anymore?'; With women (who have children) initiating almost 3/4 of divorces today (most men don't even see it coming), it's the smart man who chooses not to get married and certainly not have children... and that's a shame.
This affects men, women, and children alike. It affects everyone and people need to wake up to that reality. I know that there are lousy men and lousy fathers in this world - but make no mistake - the are plenty of lousy women and lousy mothers in this world and we should all be treated the same way (good or bad) and that simply isn't happening today.Divorce (pls advice)?
Anything bought during the marriage is called marital property and it will be divided equally. However when children are involved 95% of the time the one with custody of children end up with the house. The court system first priority is the children. Need to hire a good attorney.
He best get an attorney...NOW!
a guys point of view............rax............theres a lot of factors to bring into light here...if she has been legally married to him these past 3 years and the child is his and even if the house were bought before they were married she can get 1/2 of most if not all assets accumulated since the marriage unless there is a pre-nump that was signed by then before the marriage...but even with a pre-nump she will possably get half if not more...and lets not forget the child...if its his...does she live in an allimony state? can she prove he was abusive in any way? there are a number of factors to concider...tell him to get the best attorney he can find (preferbally a woman) and do unto her as she would do unto him...then tell him not to settle for nothing less that full or joint costody for the child...but get a lawyer NOW...be safe...be kind...and i wish you love...
get a lawyer
get a lawer NOW!
UK, half of everything he owns belongs to her even though she hasn't paid a penny, she can even claim his company pension if he has one. Legally she has to let him in the house if he wants to, unless there is a court order saying different - Been there done that etc.
He needs to get a lawyer
He needs to move back into his house whether she likes it or not since her name is not on the deed and he is paying the bills.
He needs to stop paying bills until he gets legal advice. What he does in the separation period becomes the foundation for the divorce. She will owe him half of those bills.
It depends--if your friend can show that she paid all the bills pertaining to the house for the last 3 years she might be entitled to 1/2 of those expenses in addition to half the equity. It will take a lawyer to secure her money and the child's rights to steady child support.
You ';friend'; is going to get screwed and wife will get half the equity.
But what does nay of that have to do with you?
Divorce legal advice?
I recently seperated from my wife. We live and run a business from the same property. After one week my wife moved her boyfriend in and he is now living in our property with our kids and is helping my wife run the business. I am now homeless and my wife is refusing to give me any money from the business.
Also i bought a car last year and took out a personal loan in my name for 拢10,000. I have no money to meet the monthly repayments and because of this my wife sold the car and used the money to buy a newer one. Is this legal? I registered the car in my wifes name. I fear as since the loan was not a personal loan and not borrowed on the car that i am powerless to do anything.
To add insult to injury my wife is refusing me access to my kids.Divorce legal advice?
OOPS! you should have contacted a solicitor before you separated setting forth the terms of the separation since you have a business together from your home. Your first course of action is to find out if you may be able to get the assets of the business frozen, thereby she can't use the assets either, and run it into the ground. If the Business is in your name, there should be some legal recourse to get the jerk out since you have not made him an employee. (not sure about this since she could have made him one!) If your wife sold the car without paying it off from the proceeds she received, you may be powerless to do anything about it since you did put the car in her name and it was a Personal Loan and not a Car loan. ad it been a Car loan, the papers would have to had been signed off by the bank or lender stating that the debt has been paid in full before she could transfer the title. Check with your solicitor now! The money you may have to pay him/her in the long run could save your future! Tell your wife that you are entitled to see your children and if she won't allow it then you will contact Children Services on her since she is living with another man in your house and you think there may be abuse going on - a threat is a threat, but it may just work even if it isn't fair, she certainly isn't playing fair. To top it off, if you just moved out very recently and she moved her b/f in that quickly, if there is a possibility that you can get her for Adultry, which is obvious since she had a b/f to move in so quickly. Moving a new man into the house with the children there and not allowing you to see them could be construed as emotional abuse. See a Solicitor NOW!!
Good LuckDivorce legal advice?
Dude LAWERS
wow... what a bi tc h! take her a ss to court for everything!
This isnt right, you must go to court. Find a good family solictitor who will give you legal aid.
You need a good attorney. Seek one immediately! What she is doing is not legal. -Good luck.
you need a good solicitor
oh dear, think you need a solicitor
Oh dear what a mess. I would go and seek legal advice in relation to the business and property.
While at the solicitors you can discuss contact with your children and seek whats called an Article 8 Order. It will all be sorted out in the end but i reckon you've a long road ahead of you and i hope you have supportive and caring friends and family about.
Also i bought a car last year and took out a personal loan in my name for 拢10,000. I have no money to meet the monthly repayments and because of this my wife sold the car and used the money to buy a newer one. Is this legal? I registered the car in my wifes name. I fear as since the loan was not a personal loan and not borrowed on the car that i am powerless to do anything.
To add insult to injury my wife is refusing me access to my kids.Divorce legal advice?
OOPS! you should have contacted a solicitor before you separated setting forth the terms of the separation since you have a business together from your home. Your first course of action is to find out if you may be able to get the assets of the business frozen, thereby she can't use the assets either, and run it into the ground. If the Business is in your name, there should be some legal recourse to get the jerk out since you have not made him an employee. (not sure about this since she could have made him one!) If your wife sold the car without paying it off from the proceeds she received, you may be powerless to do anything about it since you did put the car in her name and it was a Personal Loan and not a Car loan. ad it been a Car loan, the papers would have to had been signed off by the bank or lender stating that the debt has been paid in full before she could transfer the title. Check with your solicitor now! The money you may have to pay him/her in the long run could save your future! Tell your wife that you are entitled to see your children and if she won't allow it then you will contact Children Services on her since she is living with another man in your house and you think there may be abuse going on - a threat is a threat, but it may just work even if it isn't fair, she certainly isn't playing fair. To top it off, if you just moved out very recently and she moved her b/f in that quickly, if there is a possibility that you can get her for Adultry, which is obvious since she had a b/f to move in so quickly. Moving a new man into the house with the children there and not allowing you to see them could be construed as emotional abuse. See a Solicitor NOW!!
Good LuckDivorce legal advice?
Dude LAWERS
wow... what a bi tc h! take her a ss to court for everything!
This isnt right, you must go to court. Find a good family solictitor who will give you legal aid.
You need a good attorney. Seek one immediately! What she is doing is not legal. -Good luck.
you need a good solicitor
oh dear, think you need a solicitor
Oh dear what a mess. I would go and seek legal advice in relation to the business and property.
While at the solicitors you can discuss contact with your children and seek whats called an Article 8 Order. It will all be sorted out in the end but i reckon you've a long road ahead of you and i hope you have supportive and caring friends and family about.
I need advice on Divorce and Annulments on weddings in the US, but being of British nationality?
Hello,
I want to break the marriage between me and my wife. We have both consented to do this, but I'm having abit of trouble on what to do.
We married in Las Vegas a year back, but I currently live in UK (British national) and she lives in China (Chinese national).
I want to know if I can get a divorce or annulment here in UK, or does it need to be back in America?
If it can be done in UK, what are the typical costs of a no contest divorce / annulment? And if it has to be done in America, what is the best plan for me in chosing the service provider and obtaining the nessessary forms.
And as for reasons for annulment... i think I'll be safe with my reasons heh
Thanks!I need advice on Divorce and Annulments on weddings in the US, but being of British nationality?
In general you are considered married in the eyes of the US. The question is did you do anything once you got back to the UK so that the UK government classified you as married. If you never told the UK that you were married and your bride isn't going to do so, and you don't plan on being super rich or going to the US to marry someone else. Then you could just ignore the whole tale and write it off as a drunken tale of your stupidity.
Now, if you took steps to have your married recognized by the UK government then you can go about getting a divorce in the UK.
You would have a difficult time getting an annulment of the marriage in the US since you waited over a year. You could easily get a divorce in the US if you wanted but it would require at least one of you to go to the US and appear before the judge.
You could actually even get a divorce in the UK if you want to make sure the marriage never comes back to bite you. In the US it was once common for couples to go abroad to get a divorce because it was faster than the process used to be in the US.
If you go for a divorce in the US you can get them done for less than $250 as long as neither side contests the divorce. They are cheap to get but with both of you living in different countries it would be a major pain and would require at least one of you to show up in the US.I need advice on Divorce and Annulments on weddings in the US, but being of British nationality?
What a mess! Good luck.
I want to break the marriage between me and my wife. We have both consented to do this, but I'm having abit of trouble on what to do.
We married in Las Vegas a year back, but I currently live in UK (British national) and she lives in China (Chinese national).
I want to know if I can get a divorce or annulment here in UK, or does it need to be back in America?
If it can be done in UK, what are the typical costs of a no contest divorce / annulment? And if it has to be done in America, what is the best plan for me in chosing the service provider and obtaining the nessessary forms.
And as for reasons for annulment... i think I'll be safe with my reasons heh
Thanks!I need advice on Divorce and Annulments on weddings in the US, but being of British nationality?
In general you are considered married in the eyes of the US. The question is did you do anything once you got back to the UK so that the UK government classified you as married. If you never told the UK that you were married and your bride isn't going to do so, and you don't plan on being super rich or going to the US to marry someone else. Then you could just ignore the whole tale and write it off as a drunken tale of your stupidity.
Now, if you took steps to have your married recognized by the UK government then you can go about getting a divorce in the UK.
You would have a difficult time getting an annulment of the marriage in the US since you waited over a year. You could easily get a divorce in the US if you wanted but it would require at least one of you to go to the US and appear before the judge.
You could actually even get a divorce in the UK if you want to make sure the marriage never comes back to bite you. In the US it was once common for couples to go abroad to get a divorce because it was faster than the process used to be in the US.
If you go for a divorce in the US you can get them done for less than $250 as long as neither side contests the divorce. They are cheap to get but with both of you living in different countries it would be a major pain and would require at least one of you to show up in the US.I need advice on Divorce and Annulments on weddings in the US, but being of British nationality?
What a mess! Good luck.
Boy in pain during Parent's Divorce: Any advice helps :)?
MY friend called me today to inform me that her boyfriend of 8 months had broken up with her because of his parent's divorce. She says he appears to be a completely different person. Instead of forming stronger bonds with the people around him he is pushing them away. I would like advice on what might aid his feelings and not destroy all his relationships. Please, any advice would help especially from people that went through a parent's divorce. ThanksBoy in pain during Parent's Divorce: Any advice helps :)?
Be an open ear and listen, no advice for now. He needs to vent his frustration. He also is concerned because he can't do anything to help the situation he's in.Boy in pain during Parent's Divorce: Any advice helps :)?
How old are you people? What would aid his feelings is for people to let him be and not be amateur psychoanalysts. Who says he is pushing them away and destroying relationships? Perhaps he just needs time to himself. Be alarmed if he cuts himself or has angry outbursts or starts taking drugs, but just because someone breaks up with you doesn't mean they must be losing it to leave you. Maybe he just needs time alone.
he rather dump her than risk pain...simple
Be an open ear and listen, no advice for now. He needs to vent his frustration. He also is concerned because he can't do anything to help the situation he's in.Boy in pain during Parent's Divorce: Any advice helps :)?
How old are you people? What would aid his feelings is for people to let him be and not be amateur psychoanalysts. Who says he is pushing them away and destroying relationships? Perhaps he just needs time to himself. Be alarmed if he cuts himself or has angry outbursts or starts taking drugs, but just because someone breaks up with you doesn't mean they must be losing it to leave you. Maybe he just needs time alone.
he rather dump her than risk pain...simple
Marriage problem, divorce?!, need advice.
I am in a tough situation. Historically, I have been extremely attentive to my wife and her family needs. I was there for her and for her family members' sickness and death, also when times are tough. However, my wife does not reciprocate and complain constantly that I do not do enough. This past year, with job and a new born, I have been super busy and the kicker is that her mother mover moved close to our house. She expects me to ';baby-sit'; her mother as well. Meanwhile, I got two senior parents and my mother is actually here 24/7 helping while her mother is out and a about and complain about we don't do enough for her (go figure). She is very difficult and my wife is completely under her spell. So essentially, after 10 years, we have had lots of imbalance and on top of that, my wife does not like to ever apologize and address any of concerns that are important to our family. Yes, you can call her neglectful. I was in love and could not see it clearly, but now I have a child with her, I am afraid that my child will see an unhappy marriage is the norm (and I know it is not) and the gross imbalance in a relationship is okay (again, it should not be). At this point, my wife lies to me all the time even about smallest things and refuses to plan anything together in constructive ways to have happy weekends with my daughter. We have been having fights almost every weekend because she complains about how I don't treat her mother properly; meanwhile she wants me to be enslaved to her mother. We just had a beautiful baby and I really want to enjoy this time with my wife and all of our relatives. I do not want to fight about her mother and I honestly think her mother is an attention hog and needs spotlight on her all the time, otherwise you are dead in her eyes. My wife is very cling to her mother and will kill somebody to make sure her mother's whiny concerns are met (including her own husband). So this leads to one conclusion, we are heading to the end. I want advice from people who have had this problem and from people who may provide a fresh perspective. I know this is not the best place to figure our solution for life changing decision, but I want to get all advices and think it through clearly before pressing the button. I am pretty sure that there is going to be very little chance we are going to be able to work this through. Again, there is no way I can be with someone who doesn't apologize, never satisfied, never grateful for what others has done for her. I am just so concerned about my child and I really want her to grow up happy. At this point, my child is my primary concern. I have tried very hard to work it out with my wife but have received flat out slamming the door on my face type of response from her. Plus she really does not involve herself in anyway with my life at home, at work or with people who I know. Advice, please, thank you in advance.Marriage problem, divorce?!, need advice.
It sounds to me as if you have already answered your own question. No one can tell you what to do, you have to figure that out for yourself. That being said, you have a long list of grievances, none of which it sounds have been addressed. This should tell you something about your partner. A worthy partner would have your best interests at heart, but with a marriage, it is a two way street and compromise is always important. The needs of both partners should be met or at least acknowledged.Marriage problem, divorce?!, need advice.
As hard as it is, now that you see a problem you need to address it and couples and familycounseling are probably the best way to go. Good luck!
I understand..... I'm assuming that you have already brought this to her attention so i suggest counseling through your church because you took those vow till death do you part! GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS
The kid is the most important person in this picture.
Both of your mothers should not be taking up so much time in your lives that it interfers with your family life. Stop spending so much time with your mom's and tell them both to stay away.
Just from hearing your side of things, it seems that your wife is a very spoiled and selfish person. I have a family member who is exactly the same. Everything must always revolve around her and what she wants. If things don't go her way, she throws a tantrum. It is a very difficult situation to be in. If your wife refuses to go to counseling or do anything to try and make your marriage better, your only option is to file for divorce. You need to talk to a lawyer first and see what your rights are as far as child custody. If you simply walk out, you could be seen as abandoning the child and your wife may try to keep her from you just to spite you for leaving. Definitely get your ducks in a row as far as your daughter's welfare is concerned before you do or say anything to your wife about a divorce.
I had a very similar problem to yours only it was my mom she was always trying to run my home and run my family the way she saw fit and a lot of times it wasn't even in a good way this went on for years it was causing problems with my kids behavior in school and at home affecting the school work as well. It caused a problem for me and my husband mainly because he was unhappy but because of me he would just go along. So finally I had to put my foot down I couldn't stand to watch him put up with the BS any longer I had to sever ties it was the only way. Nothing was going to change I tried for years and it came down to a point I felt I had to choose between my husband and family and my parents and siblings and I choose my husband because when you get married that is your true family now. Your wife needs to learn that. Marriage is truly having to forsake all others sometimes.
Extended family can really cause problems in a marriage if you let them, I know because I've been there. It sounds like your wife may feel like she is obligated to take care of and take up for her mom/family. The more you push the more she will be on the defense. I think you need to sit down with your wife, just the two of you and tell her how you feel and the impact it has. You also should go to marriage counseling and do everything you can to rebuild your relationship especially for your child. It is wrong to for her to put her family above your marriage but maybe with hard work and compromise you guys can come to an agreement that works for everyone. I've been through a divorce and trust me, it is every bit as hard on the children and everyone else. That should be your last resort.
Take care and good luck!
Things sound pretty bad!? Well for starters the only thing you really can do is talk about things. Explain to her that you need to talk to her and she needs to listen to your feelings and she cant say a word while you are saying what you have to say. Explain that you will listen to her feelings also but she needs to stay calm or you will walk away. Let her know how she has been acting, let her know that you can never get a word in, ask her what more you can possibly do to make her happy considering everything you do pisses her off, let her know that you will treat others with respect and want the same treatment back from everyone, let her know that its okay to tend to her mothers needs but your family and child come first. Let her know that you love her and have been doing as much as you can to help and if you could do more you would. Explain that the happiness of your child and the relationship with her are you main concerns. Some people are stubborn and dont like to say sorry or just have a hard time being wrong and i can speak first hand with that. But when you know you did something wrong you need to apologize wether you like it or not. Explain to her that if things keep going the way they are that its to stressful for your child. If she doesnt want to listen and continues to fight i would then mention maybe counseling to her. If she absolutely wants to be difficult then mention divorce. Ask her if thats what she wants. See what she says and tell her that will happen if things dont start to change. To do some things to help seniors out is a good thing but when they can get around fine they can handle some things on their own. Your family is who you need to tend to and if she has a problem with that she should go help her mother out. I think you are doing great and put your foot down. Dont let her or her mom walk all over you. Be a good parent and make sure your child is happy and healthy and if things are constantly going to be stressful because she just cant give up the b*t*hing the child should not be in that type of environment. Stay strong and take care of that baby! Good Luck!
I would say you are headed for divorce. If her mother needs so much attention, why not get her into a senior citizen complex with assisted living or her mother can hire someone to cook and clean for her a few hours everyday or a couple days a week. You and your wife need to work out your issues w/o your families being involved. My mother-in-law has tried to cause problems with my husband and me I just started to ignore her and things are now better between my husband and me. He is even starting to see some of her antics.
GOOD LUCK.
Well I think that you should talk to your pastor and seek marriage counseling before you call it quits. You did make those vows. I understand that you are concerned about your child. I think that you should make every attempt possible to correct the problems, rather than just throwing your hands up. Too many people give up, I realize that the situation is tough, but the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Remember that everyone deserves mercy! Stick to the commitment you made and work to make your marriage better rather than walking away. God Bless
have a serious talk with your wife... and work it out... tell her whats the problem and what is already going on in your marriage life.. i am not married but i can see a happy family like mine with my parents who are loving to their children... discuss the situation and try to solve it. but! if ur wife do not allow herself to participate and think for ways for both of u to have a happy family then u do not deserve her..
It sounds to me as if you have already answered your own question. No one can tell you what to do, you have to figure that out for yourself. That being said, you have a long list of grievances, none of which it sounds have been addressed. This should tell you something about your partner. A worthy partner would have your best interests at heart, but with a marriage, it is a two way street and compromise is always important. The needs of both partners should be met or at least acknowledged.Marriage problem, divorce?!, need advice.
As hard as it is, now that you see a problem you need to address it and couples and familycounseling are probably the best way to go. Good luck!
I understand..... I'm assuming that you have already brought this to her attention so i suggest counseling through your church because you took those vow till death do you part! GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS
The kid is the most important person in this picture.
Both of your mothers should not be taking up so much time in your lives that it interfers with your family life. Stop spending so much time with your mom's and tell them both to stay away.
Just from hearing your side of things, it seems that your wife is a very spoiled and selfish person. I have a family member who is exactly the same. Everything must always revolve around her and what she wants. If things don't go her way, she throws a tantrum. It is a very difficult situation to be in. If your wife refuses to go to counseling or do anything to try and make your marriage better, your only option is to file for divorce. You need to talk to a lawyer first and see what your rights are as far as child custody. If you simply walk out, you could be seen as abandoning the child and your wife may try to keep her from you just to spite you for leaving. Definitely get your ducks in a row as far as your daughter's welfare is concerned before you do or say anything to your wife about a divorce.
I had a very similar problem to yours only it was my mom she was always trying to run my home and run my family the way she saw fit and a lot of times it wasn't even in a good way this went on for years it was causing problems with my kids behavior in school and at home affecting the school work as well. It caused a problem for me and my husband mainly because he was unhappy but because of me he would just go along. So finally I had to put my foot down I couldn't stand to watch him put up with the BS any longer I had to sever ties it was the only way. Nothing was going to change I tried for years and it came down to a point I felt I had to choose between my husband and family and my parents and siblings and I choose my husband because when you get married that is your true family now. Your wife needs to learn that. Marriage is truly having to forsake all others sometimes.
Extended family can really cause problems in a marriage if you let them, I know because I've been there. It sounds like your wife may feel like she is obligated to take care of and take up for her mom/family. The more you push the more she will be on the defense. I think you need to sit down with your wife, just the two of you and tell her how you feel and the impact it has. You also should go to marriage counseling and do everything you can to rebuild your relationship especially for your child. It is wrong to for her to put her family above your marriage but maybe with hard work and compromise you guys can come to an agreement that works for everyone. I've been through a divorce and trust me, it is every bit as hard on the children and everyone else. That should be your last resort.
Take care and good luck!
Things sound pretty bad!? Well for starters the only thing you really can do is talk about things. Explain to her that you need to talk to her and she needs to listen to your feelings and she cant say a word while you are saying what you have to say. Explain that you will listen to her feelings also but she needs to stay calm or you will walk away. Let her know how she has been acting, let her know that you can never get a word in, ask her what more you can possibly do to make her happy considering everything you do pisses her off, let her know that you will treat others with respect and want the same treatment back from everyone, let her know that its okay to tend to her mothers needs but your family and child come first. Let her know that you love her and have been doing as much as you can to help and if you could do more you would. Explain that the happiness of your child and the relationship with her are you main concerns. Some people are stubborn and dont like to say sorry or just have a hard time being wrong and i can speak first hand with that. But when you know you did something wrong you need to apologize wether you like it or not. Explain to her that if things keep going the way they are that its to stressful for your child. If she doesnt want to listen and continues to fight i would then mention maybe counseling to her. If she absolutely wants to be difficult then mention divorce. Ask her if thats what she wants. See what she says and tell her that will happen if things dont start to change. To do some things to help seniors out is a good thing but when they can get around fine they can handle some things on their own. Your family is who you need to tend to and if she has a problem with that she should go help her mother out. I think you are doing great and put your foot down. Dont let her or her mom walk all over you. Be a good parent and make sure your child is happy and healthy and if things are constantly going to be stressful because she just cant give up the b*t*hing the child should not be in that type of environment. Stay strong and take care of that baby! Good Luck!
I would say you are headed for divorce. If her mother needs so much attention, why not get her into a senior citizen complex with assisted living or her mother can hire someone to cook and clean for her a few hours everyday or a couple days a week. You and your wife need to work out your issues w/o your families being involved. My mother-in-law has tried to cause problems with my husband and me I just started to ignore her and things are now better between my husband and me. He is even starting to see some of her antics.
GOOD LUCK.
Well I think that you should talk to your pastor and seek marriage counseling before you call it quits. You did make those vows. I understand that you are concerned about your child. I think that you should make every attempt possible to correct the problems, rather than just throwing your hands up. Too many people give up, I realize that the situation is tough, but the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Remember that everyone deserves mercy! Stick to the commitment you made and work to make your marriage better rather than walking away. God Bless
have a serious talk with your wife... and work it out... tell her whats the problem and what is already going on in your marriage life.. i am not married but i can see a happy family like mine with my parents who are loving to their children... discuss the situation and try to solve it. but! if ur wife do not allow herself to participate and think for ways for both of u to have a happy family then u do not deserve her..
Divorce?? NO!!! advice please?
my dad have another women. my mom is heartbroken because of that. what can i do to help my mom to win my dad back?or what can my mom do to win my dad back?Divorce?? NO!!! advice please?
First I'd like to say I'm sorry and you must be a great kid, but believe me when I say there's nothing you can do. None of this is your fault and can't be fixed without your mom and dad wanting it. They have to decide and work it out themselves.Divorce?? NO!!! advice please?
there is nothing much you can do. let your parents settle this problem. I understand how you feel but really this has got nothing to do with you or you can do about. It's not easy, but to face reality is better than insisting our own way. They have their life of their own as much as you do.Sadly, adultery or fornication is a very strong ground for divorce.
You claim to not want any advise, but eat your words by asking what to do?
You need to let them figure out what is best for them.
stop talking like TARZAN and start drinking.
First I'd like to say I'm sorry and you must be a great kid, but believe me when I say there's nothing you can do. None of this is your fault and can't be fixed without your mom and dad wanting it. They have to decide and work it out themselves.Divorce?? NO!!! advice please?
there is nothing much you can do. let your parents settle this problem. I understand how you feel but really this has got nothing to do with you or you can do about. It's not easy, but to face reality is better than insisting our own way. They have their life of their own as much as you do.Sadly, adultery or fornication is a very strong ground for divorce.
You claim to not want any advise, but eat your words by asking what to do?
You need to let them figure out what is best for them.
stop talking like TARZAN and start drinking.
Where can I find the best legal advice dealing in business and divorce on the web?
My wife and I run a business. My name is not actually on the business license but I have built it practically alone for 4 out of the 5 years it has been in operation. We are now considering divorce. I want to keep the business going. She doesn't but she will not put my name on the business license or give me the business.
Apart from me buying her out (I feel like I would be buying my own business) what rights do I have in retaining the clients that we have now? If I do not buy her out she said she would just sell or shut it down.
Question: Can I open the same business under a different name and call all my clients to let them know of the name change? Would that be legal? And would that be ethical?Where can I find the best legal advice dealing in business and divorce on the web?
I am going through a divorce right now and had a real estate
business for three years. My ex wants $ 143,000 for his half.
I closed it down last year because I had negative cash flow.
We have spent over $ 193,000 on the divorce and related
fees. It is totally stupid ! We have 4 kids. I would reccommend a private judge if you have the money. Keep it away from lawyers all they do is lie and make you tell you what you want to hear. Settle out of court ! Give her a percentage of the profit for four years.red lipstick
Apart from me buying her out (I feel like I would be buying my own business) what rights do I have in retaining the clients that we have now? If I do not buy her out she said she would just sell or shut it down.
Question: Can I open the same business under a different name and call all my clients to let them know of the name change? Would that be legal? And would that be ethical?Where can I find the best legal advice dealing in business and divorce on the web?
I am going through a divorce right now and had a real estate
business for three years. My ex wants $ 143,000 for his half.
I closed it down last year because I had negative cash flow.
We have spent over $ 193,000 on the divorce and related
fees. It is totally stupid ! We have 4 kids. I would reccommend a private judge if you have the money. Keep it away from lawyers all they do is lie and make you tell you what you want to hear. Settle out of court ! Give her a percentage of the profit for four years.
My parents are getting a divorce!? Need advice!?
I am so mad at my dad because of it he apologized for ignoring me last night should I forgive him?My parents are getting a divorce!? Need advice!?
Just talk to him . . .Divorce sucks and is hard on EVERYONE. He's hurting too and probably didn't even realize he was ignoring you. You don't have to decide whether to forgive him right now, just keep the communication channels open and try not to focus on yourself. I find that when I focus on others it usually makes it easier for me to handle things.
I'm sorry you have to go through this - if I were there I'd give you a big hug!My parents are getting a divorce!? Need advice!?
do not take sides, this is not about you... you would be better to talk to a family member about your feelings and stress rather than sharing with either of your parents at this time.
they have enough to deal with, do not get caught in between their struggle.. do not pit once against the other.
you love them both no matter what, remember that, do not get caught in the bad mouthing of either parent.
Stay out of it and keep busy....get involved in your school, hobby or volunteering....
He apologized - If he is sincere, forgive him.
have you ever ignored someone before?.I'm not trying to be sarcastic when i say that,my point is that what might help is when we get upset at someone just try to see if you have done the same thing to someone else and that might help you not to be so angry or stressed about it..sorry about your parents.Mine had a divorce to years ago.A lot of parents get divorces now a days.It's hard to stay married these days.
whta happens in ur parents relationship is none of ur bees-wax.
now as for him ignoring u, yeah forgive him, grudge can kill u if hold on to it.
鈾€鈾モ檪
yes, trust me, over the years, your parents will piss you off lots more, you got plenty of time to hate them when they are dead
Your parents are getting a divorce from each other,they are not divorcing you.You will always be their child and as such there should always be respect amongst all of you.You definitely should accept your father's apology.
Why wouldn't you forgive your dad for it. In all honesty its no ones fault. Weather it be that they no longer love each other, or they just don't get along. In the long run it would be better for them to separate then stay together and be miserable. Trust me I know from experience. Give your dad a chance.
Yes, forgive and forget.
I'm sorry to hear that they are getting divorced. But it's not because of you. Sometimes people can get along for awhile, and then they grow apart. don't take blame for it but just let them BOTh know you love them okay?
you need to try to talk to him, if that doesnt work talk to your mom. my parents got a divorce when i was 5 and ever since then i havent been able to talk to my parents about much of anything esp my dad. i was able to talk to my mom alittle bit more than my dad but thats only because i lived with her. no matter what anyone says, the kids are the ones that always have it tougher in a divorce, believe i know from experience. keep trying to talk to your dad cause if you dont in the future when you do have to talk to him you will be too nervous to say anything to him like i am with my dad
You need to mellow, my parents are divorce and its the best thing for them. Your parents or Dad is trying to make sense of his life right now and he needs to be alone for awhile and he ignored you. At least when he figured it out he said he was sorry. Everything is going to be rocky for a time but your dad and most likely your mom to are doing there best given the situation. Forgiving him for something like that would make you and him feel better. Maybe more him than you but he is human just remember that.
well sweetie you are up to some hard days ahead of you. i suggest that you tell your parents that you are neutral so that they wont say anything hurtful to you about the other parent. and about your dad ignoring you, please don't take it personal, cause he is going through a lot right now, a divorce is never good. i would find a close friend that you can talk to about this, that way if you do get mad or sad you can go to that friend.
Your parents are going through a rough time. The reason for ignoring you was probaly bc he had a lot on his mind. Forgive him and try to understand that it is harder for him to get through it!
Always forgive he is your dad and you don't get another one.
Your dad probably has a lot on his mind now. I know that's not an excuse for him ignoring you, but you should give him a break. Divorce is really hard on everyone. Try and forgive him so that he doesn't have any more worries than he does now.
Hang in there, it will get better.
You DEFINITELY should forgive your dad! The thing is, nothing is ever as it seems. Your parents BOTH have issues. Just because they don't love each other anymore, doesn't mean they don't love you. You could totally be wrong about the divorce all being your father's fault. Mom's aren't innocent little angels, you know - they do bad stuff too.
Just love them both, despite their problems. They sure love you!
Just talk to him . . .Divorce sucks and is hard on EVERYONE. He's hurting too and probably didn't even realize he was ignoring you. You don't have to decide whether to forgive him right now, just keep the communication channels open and try not to focus on yourself. I find that when I focus on others it usually makes it easier for me to handle things.
I'm sorry you have to go through this - if I were there I'd give you a big hug!My parents are getting a divorce!? Need advice!?
do not take sides, this is not about you... you would be better to talk to a family member about your feelings and stress rather than sharing with either of your parents at this time.
they have enough to deal with, do not get caught in between their struggle.. do not pit once against the other.
you love them both no matter what, remember that, do not get caught in the bad mouthing of either parent.
Stay out of it and keep busy....get involved in your school, hobby or volunteering....
He apologized - If he is sincere, forgive him.
have you ever ignored someone before?.I'm not trying to be sarcastic when i say that,my point is that what might help is when we get upset at someone just try to see if you have done the same thing to someone else and that might help you not to be so angry or stressed about it..sorry about your parents.Mine had a divorce to years ago.A lot of parents get divorces now a days.It's hard to stay married these days.
whta happens in ur parents relationship is none of ur bees-wax.
now as for him ignoring u, yeah forgive him, grudge can kill u if hold on to it.
鈾€鈾モ檪
yes, trust me, over the years, your parents will piss you off lots more, you got plenty of time to hate them when they are dead
Your parents are getting a divorce from each other,they are not divorcing you.You will always be their child and as such there should always be respect amongst all of you.You definitely should accept your father's apology.
Why wouldn't you forgive your dad for it. In all honesty its no ones fault. Weather it be that they no longer love each other, or they just don't get along. In the long run it would be better for them to separate then stay together and be miserable. Trust me I know from experience. Give your dad a chance.
Yes, forgive and forget.
I'm sorry to hear that they are getting divorced. But it's not because of you. Sometimes people can get along for awhile, and then they grow apart. don't take blame for it but just let them BOTh know you love them okay?
you need to try to talk to him, if that doesnt work talk to your mom. my parents got a divorce when i was 5 and ever since then i havent been able to talk to my parents about much of anything esp my dad. i was able to talk to my mom alittle bit more than my dad but thats only because i lived with her. no matter what anyone says, the kids are the ones that always have it tougher in a divorce, believe i know from experience. keep trying to talk to your dad cause if you dont in the future when you do have to talk to him you will be too nervous to say anything to him like i am with my dad
You need to mellow, my parents are divorce and its the best thing for them. Your parents or Dad is trying to make sense of his life right now and he needs to be alone for awhile and he ignored you. At least when he figured it out he said he was sorry. Everything is going to be rocky for a time but your dad and most likely your mom to are doing there best given the situation. Forgiving him for something like that would make you and him feel better. Maybe more him than you but he is human just remember that.
well sweetie you are up to some hard days ahead of you. i suggest that you tell your parents that you are neutral so that they wont say anything hurtful to you about the other parent. and about your dad ignoring you, please don't take it personal, cause he is going through a lot right now, a divorce is never good. i would find a close friend that you can talk to about this, that way if you do get mad or sad you can go to that friend.
Your parents are going through a rough time. The reason for ignoring you was probaly bc he had a lot on his mind. Forgive him and try to understand that it is harder for him to get through it!
Always forgive he is your dad and you don't get another one.
Your dad probably has a lot on his mind now. I know that's not an excuse for him ignoring you, but you should give him a break. Divorce is really hard on everyone. Try and forgive him so that he doesn't have any more worries than he does now.
Hang in there, it will get better.
You DEFINITELY should forgive your dad! The thing is, nothing is ever as it seems. Your parents BOTH have issues. Just because they don't love each other anymore, doesn't mean they don't love you. You could totally be wrong about the divorce all being your father's fault. Mom's aren't innocent little angels, you know - they do bad stuff too.
Just love them both, despite their problems. They sure love you!
Can anyone share your advice about Divorce? thanks a lot?
My friend need to know information about Divorce. It is very unfair situation for my friend (the partner did very wrong) Please share information about everything. thanks a lot~~Can anyone share your advice about Divorce? thanks a lot?
Never represent yourself - get a lawyer ( only a fool goes it alone)
Never assume a judge will side with you because it seems fair and right.
Never trust the ex - even though they seem nice about everything (of course this does not mean we have to be nasty)
Never show anger or resentment in the courtroom. Judges seem to side with the most honorable, loving parent with good intentions (but be prepared for occasional shocks).
Be prepared for anything, keep anything that can help your case and get anything that can strenghten your case - and be honest with your lawyer - if he/she gets nailed on anything you fail to mention - you could lose right there and then. If your lawyers knows everything - good and bad - he can use what is good in your favour and prepare a defense for what is bad and likely to be brought up against you.
Most important - Most people are intimidated by lawyers and of course they are experts at this. But remember that YOU are hiring them to DO a JOB for you and they better do a good one.
You are going to pay anywhere from $100 to $300 and hour for a decent lawyer - I'll tell you, when I am paying out this kind of money I expect good service and results (at least his/her best effort to make it happen) and make this clear when I hire a lawyer. If a lawyer can't handle this then he/she is probably to arrogant to work with.
It will get expensive you really need to look at what you will get out of it. If there are kids involved or a couple hundred thousand at stake it is worth it.
However if he only has a net worth of 30,000 and no kids are in the picture. Maybe a mutual divorce can be worked out where you both walk away and no lawyers are involved. Going after his future revenue can get costly and you really have to weigh the odds of winning vs cost to win.Can anyone share your advice about Divorce? thanks a lot?
need to find a lawyer..then go to court house and get papers to file then file the papers..
most lawyers let you have one visit free,so go see a lawyer
The question is a bit too general - what type of information? Often, the best person to talk to about divorce matters is a lawyer.
Ask around from others who have gone through a divorce to find the best Attorney available. Document every thing regarding what he has done in order to share with the attorney.
A lot of times when people go to meet with the attorney they are so upset they forget everything that they wanted to say. Also make a list to give to the Attorney of how you want things divided out, if kids are involved then visitation needs to be worked out as well as child support, alimony etc.
Hope this helps! Will keep your friend in my prayers.
Divorce is never a pleasant part of one's life. Does your friend have an attorney? Please tell us more about his situation so we can answer you better.
Divorce is painful, costly and a huge nuisance. Its costly because of the filing fees, the time you have to take off from work to go to court to deal with it and just time consuming. Not to mention the whole process is very frustrating, especially if the other party is creating obstacles out of spite instead of allowing it to be a smooth process. I need a vacation, and I'm just getting started in this process, not to mention the fact that I need an emotional overhaul. On the bright side, I feel so much happier and less stressed that I am no longer with him and I know it will get better and better as time goes on.
It is...
painful
expensive
depressing
shocking
gut wrenching
That being said, God has been with me. After I went through all of that, I am now in a better place. In reality, for me, the worst times after the divorce were better than the best times with my wife. Everyone's situation is different. Best of luck to you.
Never represent yourself - get a lawyer ( only a fool goes it alone)
Never assume a judge will side with you because it seems fair and right.
Never trust the ex - even though they seem nice about everything (of course this does not mean we have to be nasty)
Never show anger or resentment in the courtroom. Judges seem to side with the most honorable, loving parent with good intentions (but be prepared for occasional shocks).
Be prepared for anything, keep anything that can help your case and get anything that can strenghten your case - and be honest with your lawyer - if he/she gets nailed on anything you fail to mention - you could lose right there and then. If your lawyers knows everything - good and bad - he can use what is good in your favour and prepare a defense for what is bad and likely to be brought up against you.
Most important - Most people are intimidated by lawyers and of course they are experts at this. But remember that YOU are hiring them to DO a JOB for you and they better do a good one.
You are going to pay anywhere from $100 to $300 and hour for a decent lawyer - I'll tell you, when I am paying out this kind of money I expect good service and results (at least his/her best effort to make it happen) and make this clear when I hire a lawyer. If a lawyer can't handle this then he/she is probably to arrogant to work with.
It will get expensive you really need to look at what you will get out of it. If there are kids involved or a couple hundred thousand at stake it is worth it.
However if he only has a net worth of 30,000 and no kids are in the picture. Maybe a mutual divorce can be worked out where you both walk away and no lawyers are involved. Going after his future revenue can get costly and you really have to weigh the odds of winning vs cost to win.Can anyone share your advice about Divorce? thanks a lot?
need to find a lawyer..then go to court house and get papers to file then file the papers..
most lawyers let you have one visit free,so go see a lawyer
The question is a bit too general - what type of information? Often, the best person to talk to about divorce matters is a lawyer.
Ask around from others who have gone through a divorce to find the best Attorney available. Document every thing regarding what he has done in order to share with the attorney.
A lot of times when people go to meet with the attorney they are so upset they forget everything that they wanted to say. Also make a list to give to the Attorney of how you want things divided out, if kids are involved then visitation needs to be worked out as well as child support, alimony etc.
Hope this helps! Will keep your friend in my prayers.
Divorce is never a pleasant part of one's life. Does your friend have an attorney? Please tell us more about his situation so we can answer you better.
Divorce is painful, costly and a huge nuisance. Its costly because of the filing fees, the time you have to take off from work to go to court to deal with it and just time consuming. Not to mention the whole process is very frustrating, especially if the other party is creating obstacles out of spite instead of allowing it to be a smooth process. I need a vacation, and I'm just getting started in this process, not to mention the fact that I need an emotional overhaul. On the bright side, I feel so much happier and less stressed that I am no longer with him and I know it will get better and better as time goes on.
It is...
painful
expensive
depressing
shocking
gut wrenching
That being said, God has been with me. After I went through all of that, I am now in a better place. In reality, for me, the worst times after the divorce were better than the best times with my wife. Everyone's situation is different. Best of luck to you.
I am going to get a divorce. Any advice on how to fill out papers?
Get a lawyer.I am going to get a divorce. Any advice on how to fill out papers?
get a lawyerI am going to get a divorce. Any advice on how to fill out papers?
Once again, go to the law library, and you will find all of the answers to your questions there. Every courthouse in the country has one.
Get a good lawyer.End all contact with your ''ex''.He will try everything in the book to screw you or at least his lawyer will.Never and I mean NEVER sign anything without your lawyer approving it or discussing it with you.If you have kids get child support,college tuition in the future,help with day care all of in writing.If it isn't in the decree he doesn't have to pay.Remember you aren't going to be married anymore so he expect him not to play fair.I say this as a guy who cleaned house on my ''ex'' because she was in too much of a hurry and signed anything.
I suggest filling out the papers with a pencil - then you can erase stuff if you make a mistake. LOL
Seriously, get a lawyer or go to the library and download information regarding divorce paperwork
Good luck.
If you go to the court hose or download them they should have the information you need to fill them out, if you have children please pay close attention to visitation and child support and no matter what pay attention to the spousal support too. Good Luck
get a lawyerI am going to get a divorce. Any advice on how to fill out papers?
Once again, go to the law library, and you will find all of the answers to your questions there. Every courthouse in the country has one.
Get a good lawyer.End all contact with your ''ex''.He will try everything in the book to screw you or at least his lawyer will.Never and I mean NEVER sign anything without your lawyer approving it or discussing it with you.If you have kids get child support,college tuition in the future,help with day care all of in writing.If it isn't in the decree he doesn't have to pay.Remember you aren't going to be married anymore so he expect him not to play fair.I say this as a guy who cleaned house on my ''ex'' because she was in too much of a hurry and signed anything.
I suggest filling out the papers with a pencil - then you can erase stuff if you make a mistake. LOL
Seriously, get a lawyer or go to the library and download information regarding divorce paperwork
Good luck.
If you go to the court hose or download them they should have the information you need to fill them out, if you have children please pay close attention to visitation and child support and no matter what pay attention to the spousal support too. Good Luck
Desparate I need advice on divorce rights in nys?
IS IT POSSIBLE THROUGH DIVORCE FOR ME TO RETRIEVE ALL THE MONIES THAT HE TOOK OUT OF JOINT ACCOUNTS. AM I ENTITLED TO HIS RETIREMENT CHECK , DEF COMP ETC . HE PUT EVERYTHING IN HIS NAME AND TOOK THE CAR THAT I USE AND HAS LEFT ME PENNILESS . IS THERE ANYONE WHO CAN GUIDE ME I BELIEVE AFTER 25 YEARS I AM ENTITLED TO HALF IS THAT TRUE. BUT IF HE TOOK IT HOW DO I GET IT. THANK YOUDesparate I need advice on divorce rights in nys?
%26gt;%26gt; BUT IF HE TOOK IT HOW DO I GET IT %26lt;%26lt;
You see a divorce lawyer -- today.Desparate I need advice on divorce rights in nys?
Most states have a divorce law that anything aquired DURING the marriage is community property. BUT, I have listed the link below to the New York Divorce Laws and online self help.
%26gt;%26gt; BUT IF HE TOOK IT HOW DO I GET IT %26lt;%26lt;
You see a divorce lawyer -- today.Desparate I need advice on divorce rights in nys?
Most states have a divorce law that anything aquired DURING the marriage is community property. BUT, I have listed the link below to the New York Divorce Laws and online self help.
Separated and headed for divorce....any advice?
My wife asked me to leave the other night. We have been separated before ...exactly one year ago....and things are still no better. I am gone...long gone. I am now trying to live alone. What is the best first thing to do? Any thoughts?Separated and headed for divorce....any advice?
Of course everyone is going to tell you to try to keep busy, %26amp; IF you can, that's the BEST thing to do to keep your mind occupied. Try to keep in close touch w/your friends. They are the best ones who w/be there for you for the support you'll need. KNOW this is NOT the end, it's the beginning of a new life for you. KNOW that you CAN find happiness in the future. Evidently, this was just not the rite person for you, but also know there IS a rite person for you, you just have not met her yet. Try to go places where you can meet new people because you WILL find a special someone who is best suited just for you. Try to let go of the past the best you can. I KNOW it's hard, I've been there too. But you do find that life does go on, %26amp; in time you w/get acclimated to your new lifestyle. Learn from your mistakes, %26amp; it all won't be in vain. You now know what to do, what not to do. Time does heal all hurts %26amp; just keep thinking positive that you w/have a better brighter life ahead of you. Just keep going forward %26amp; KNOW in time you WILL have a better brighter tomorrow...the best to you...:)Separated and headed for divorce....any advice?
get a lawyer and file first. sell everything you own on paper at least to someone you trust. pull out all your assests and hide them with someone you trust. if you live in an area that is a high rent area move to an area where there are alamony caps and child support caps that are reasonable as support is based on your income levels and the counties caps on amounts just protect yourself man. especially if she says she dont want a messy divorce as thats when you drop your guard and she plows you with half of what you own
What I hear you say is that your wife asked you to leave, did she ask you for a divorce? She is probably asking you to leave because she has asked you to change and you have not. If she cannot live with how you are and you cannot change how you are and counseling has not helped then it's time to call the attorney and find a way to make divorce work since you weren't able to make your marriage work.
First off i really FEEL for you because that's...a hard thing on your mental health or at least it can be so I hope that you're handling it well. Next step is just to realize that hey, this world isn't Disney, you're an adult and you know what you have to do. This isn't going well, it's finally over, you separated before and things aren't any better. You claim you're gone and now long gone and are ';trying'; to live alone. Hopefully that try will succeed, but no one ever said you HAD to do it alone%26gt; I mean don't you have family, friends, buddies, of both genders? I mean...this is why in times like these you REALLY should rely on the advice and support/comfort of other friends.
Forget about our current cruel and fake society that claims we all have to do it all on our own. EVERYONE needs some support at one point in their life, but if you can and are determined to do it alone, I think you should just try to break up as amicably as possible but make it definitive enough so that you know that it's FINALLY over, and then ..go on your own ways, you don't want to turn it into a some shouting match where legal matters can come about.
Good luck in this case!
Sounds like you've no kids involved, makes everything easier I guess.
Best thing you can do is socialize, maybe go to church more often and
get involved with any little work groups they have. Elsewhere, join any hobby clubs that interest you. Stay away from bars. I should alert you,
stay away from frozen dinners like Stouffer's, it is heart attack food, loaded with sodium to the max.. Maybe you have a life insurance policy you can now cash in by terminating it. I misread thinking you're already divorced. Get a very good lawyer, gather what household records you think you may need
for the divorce proceedings to defend yourself.
find a way to believe in yourself and keep positive. live your life for who you are and what you believe in. keep an eye out for changes and laughter along the way!
If you can stay friends, great, especially if there are children involved. If you can't stay friends, maybe just stay civil. You'll feel better about yourself without anger and hate eating you for something you can't control.
Hey, Im sorry to hear of your situation, but Im in the same thing kinda. Well me and my husband has been separated for a year now. We have been back and forth with this same damn drama the whole time.. Yet he tells me that he loves me and can't live without me, but he continues to see the other woman... Ya, crazy I know. It was hard for me to accept it for wat it really was and go on with my life.. At first its gonna be EXTREMELY hard, but please believe me that thru all pain and hurt, then comes JOY.. After she sees that u are going on and living your life. I PROMISE shes gonna come treading back, and then its gonna be to late.. Take it from me, im going thru it now.. My husband never thought that I could make it without him, and guess wat??? IM DOING BETTER THAN HE COULD EVER DO!!!!! G/L
First thing to do, it mentally see exactly where you are. Emotionally, financially, work-wise...everything. This will help tell you where you can go.
Next realize that it is over. Keeping it alive in your mind or heart will only suck the life out of you and do you no good.
Next, get on with your life. Enjoy and live well.
I'm going through it too. You should find a way to not let your thoughts send you to Deep into depression. She might have been the best person ever but she will try to mess with your head. Keep focused on the present, have a few nice thoughts of the future. And don't dwell to long on the past , only en ought to get your thoughts gathered up to not repeat the same mistakes. There are books that describe this better than I can . Good luck.
sorry to hear that. I'm of the opinion that if it wasn't right, it never will be if you try again. I think you should use the time for yourself, like join a gym, that's good for you mentally as well as physically, do something you've been wanting to do, like take a class or something. And watch a lot of comedy. Try connecting with old guy friends from high school on Facebook. Good luck!
I think you should get out there and find your perfect match,something that you both like. It won't help to stay there. So,get out there and find the one for you.
It all depends on where you live and how much you want to invest in lawyers fees.
Party like its 1999.red lipstick
Of course everyone is going to tell you to try to keep busy, %26amp; IF you can, that's the BEST thing to do to keep your mind occupied. Try to keep in close touch w/your friends. They are the best ones who w/be there for you for the support you'll need. KNOW this is NOT the end, it's the beginning of a new life for you. KNOW that you CAN find happiness in the future. Evidently, this was just not the rite person for you, but also know there IS a rite person for you, you just have not met her yet. Try to go places where you can meet new people because you WILL find a special someone who is best suited just for you. Try to let go of the past the best you can. I KNOW it's hard, I've been there too. But you do find that life does go on, %26amp; in time you w/get acclimated to your new lifestyle. Learn from your mistakes, %26amp; it all won't be in vain. You now know what to do, what not to do. Time does heal all hurts %26amp; just keep thinking positive that you w/have a better brighter life ahead of you. Just keep going forward %26amp; KNOW in time you WILL have a better brighter tomorrow...the best to you...:)Separated and headed for divorce....any advice?
get a lawyer and file first. sell everything you own on paper at least to someone you trust. pull out all your assests and hide them with someone you trust. if you live in an area that is a high rent area move to an area where there are alamony caps and child support caps that are reasonable as support is based on your income levels and the counties caps on amounts just protect yourself man. especially if she says she dont want a messy divorce as thats when you drop your guard and she plows you with half of what you own
What I hear you say is that your wife asked you to leave, did she ask you for a divorce? She is probably asking you to leave because she has asked you to change and you have not. If she cannot live with how you are and you cannot change how you are and counseling has not helped then it's time to call the attorney and find a way to make divorce work since you weren't able to make your marriage work.
First off i really FEEL for you because that's...a hard thing on your mental health or at least it can be so I hope that you're handling it well. Next step is just to realize that hey, this world isn't Disney, you're an adult and you know what you have to do. This isn't going well, it's finally over, you separated before and things aren't any better. You claim you're gone and now long gone and are ';trying'; to live alone. Hopefully that try will succeed, but no one ever said you HAD to do it alone%26gt; I mean don't you have family, friends, buddies, of both genders? I mean...this is why in times like these you REALLY should rely on the advice and support/comfort of other friends.
Forget about our current cruel and fake society that claims we all have to do it all on our own. EVERYONE needs some support at one point in their life, but if you can and are determined to do it alone, I think you should just try to break up as amicably as possible but make it definitive enough so that you know that it's FINALLY over, and then ..go on your own ways, you don't want to turn it into a some shouting match where legal matters can come about.
Good luck in this case!
Sounds like you've no kids involved, makes everything easier I guess.
Best thing you can do is socialize, maybe go to church more often and
get involved with any little work groups they have. Elsewhere, join any hobby clubs that interest you. Stay away from bars. I should alert you,
stay away from frozen dinners like Stouffer's, it is heart attack food, loaded with sodium to the max.. Maybe you have a life insurance policy you can now cash in by terminating it. I misread thinking you're already divorced. Get a very good lawyer, gather what household records you think you may need
for the divorce proceedings to defend yourself.
find a way to believe in yourself and keep positive. live your life for who you are and what you believe in. keep an eye out for changes and laughter along the way!
If you can stay friends, great, especially if there are children involved. If you can't stay friends, maybe just stay civil. You'll feel better about yourself without anger and hate eating you for something you can't control.
Hey, Im sorry to hear of your situation, but Im in the same thing kinda. Well me and my husband has been separated for a year now. We have been back and forth with this same damn drama the whole time.. Yet he tells me that he loves me and can't live without me, but he continues to see the other woman... Ya, crazy I know. It was hard for me to accept it for wat it really was and go on with my life.. At first its gonna be EXTREMELY hard, but please believe me that thru all pain and hurt, then comes JOY.. After she sees that u are going on and living your life. I PROMISE shes gonna come treading back, and then its gonna be to late.. Take it from me, im going thru it now.. My husband never thought that I could make it without him, and guess wat??? IM DOING BETTER THAN HE COULD EVER DO!!!!! G/L
First thing to do, it mentally see exactly where you are. Emotionally, financially, work-wise...everything. This will help tell you where you can go.
Next realize that it is over. Keeping it alive in your mind or heart will only suck the life out of you and do you no good.
Next, get on with your life. Enjoy and live well.
I'm going through it too. You should find a way to not let your thoughts send you to Deep into depression. She might have been the best person ever but she will try to mess with your head. Keep focused on the present, have a few nice thoughts of the future. And don't dwell to long on the past , only en ought to get your thoughts gathered up to not repeat the same mistakes. There are books that describe this better than I can . Good luck.
sorry to hear that. I'm of the opinion that if it wasn't right, it never will be if you try again. I think you should use the time for yourself, like join a gym, that's good for you mentally as well as physically, do something you've been wanting to do, like take a class or something. And watch a lot of comedy. Try connecting with old guy friends from high school on Facebook. Good luck!
I think you should get out there and find your perfect match,something that you both like. It won't help to stay there. So,get out there and find the one for you.
It all depends on where you live and how much you want to invest in lawyers fees.
Party like its 1999.
I pay for my husband's insurance under my employment, what can anyone advice me to do if i get a divorce? HELP?
what should i do, before i get divorced.I pay for my husband's insurance under my employment, what can anyone advice me to do if i get a divorce? HELP?
Talk to your HR department about it.
But please, no matter what your husband has done to deserve a divorce, he does not deserve to be cut off from health insurance without notice.I pay for my husband's insurance under my employment, what can anyone advice me to do if i get a divorce? HELP?
When my husband and I got married he went and brought our Marriage license to the PR Rep and she added me onto his insurance.
In order to get someone off the insurance, you will probably have to show proof of divorce or if there nice, Just say please take my (Ex) husband off my insurance.
The answer could vary by person.It is alway a good idea to hear the suggestion from different sides and try to choose the best one.Here http://www.insuranceidea.info/free-insurance.htm is a good one i recommend.
you drop him off the insurance..standard procedure in a divorce..you need to consult with a lawyer..you will need one when divorcing..they would tell you the same thing..
Drop him from your insurance.
what do you want to know? if you divorce, you no longer have to pay his insurance. simple
Talk to your HR department about it.
But please, no matter what your husband has done to deserve a divorce, he does not deserve to be cut off from health insurance without notice.I pay for my husband's insurance under my employment, what can anyone advice me to do if i get a divorce? HELP?
When my husband and I got married he went and brought our Marriage license to the PR Rep and she added me onto his insurance.
In order to get someone off the insurance, you will probably have to show proof of divorce or if there nice, Just say please take my (Ex) husband off my insurance.
The answer could vary by person.It is alway a good idea to hear the suggestion from different sides and try to choose the best one.Here http://www.insuranceidea.info/free-insurance.htm is a good one i recommend.
you drop him off the insurance..standard procedure in a divorce..you need to consult with a lawyer..you will need one when divorcing..they would tell you the same thing..
Drop him from your insurance.
what do you want to know? if you divorce, you no longer have to pay his insurance. simple
Help has anyone ever worked with an guardian ad litem in a divorce case? Any advice of what to expect?
I am in a divorce and my husband has severe drug and alchohol issues, his attorney on his behalf requested a guardian ad litem and I am worried I do not know anyone who has worked with one or went through this experience. Will the guardian ad litem take into account the police reports made, his arrest, jail time ect? What should I do to prepare? My son is 2 months old and he wants full custody...help advice anyone?Help has anyone ever worked with an guardian ad litem in a divorce case? Any advice of what to expect?
a guardian ad litem is supposed to act on behalf of the child. Bring the police reports, arrests, jail time, etc to her attention. Don't expect her to find anything on her own. Where I live, the guardian ad litems are volunteers....some are even college students. Yes, they go through training, but at the same time, this is your child, and you don't want to risk anything being overlooked. Try to show any proof (and your concern) of your husband's drug issues. The guardian ad litem will (should) use all of this info when making her recommendation to the court. Most likely, he will not get custody if you show you have a suitable income and a stable place to live.Help has anyone ever worked with an guardian ad litem in a divorce case? Any advice of what to expect?
my daughter's hubby, has children by an ex who recently took him to court wanting custody of the son, a guardian ad litem makes recomendations to the court and the judge usually follows their advice. it will be taken into account his record, and drug use. he wants custody so he will not have to pay child support. make sure u make aware to the guardian his record. they usually do appoint a guardian, and the judge listens to the guradian, their opinions carry alot of weight.
Yes, I've had the unfortunate experience to deal with a ';guardian ad litem';.
My experience is that it's just another way to suck money out of two people going thru a divorce. The ad litem has only his/her selfish interest ($$$) at heart.
In theory, it's a wonderful concept for someone to represent the interests of the children. In practice, it's reprehensible.
a guardian ad litem is supposed to act on behalf of the child. Bring the police reports, arrests, jail time, etc to her attention. Don't expect her to find anything on her own. Where I live, the guardian ad litems are volunteers....some are even college students. Yes, they go through training, but at the same time, this is your child, and you don't want to risk anything being overlooked. Try to show any proof (and your concern) of your husband's drug issues. The guardian ad litem will (should) use all of this info when making her recommendation to the court. Most likely, he will not get custody if you show you have a suitable income and a stable place to live.Help has anyone ever worked with an guardian ad litem in a divorce case? Any advice of what to expect?
my daughter's hubby, has children by an ex who recently took him to court wanting custody of the son, a guardian ad litem makes recomendations to the court and the judge usually follows their advice. it will be taken into account his record, and drug use. he wants custody so he will not have to pay child support. make sure u make aware to the guardian his record. they usually do appoint a guardian, and the judge listens to the guradian, their opinions carry alot of weight.
Yes, I've had the unfortunate experience to deal with a ';guardian ad litem';.
My experience is that it's just another way to suck money out of two people going thru a divorce. The ad litem has only his/her selfish interest ($$$) at heart.
In theory, it's a wonderful concept for someone to represent the interests of the children. In practice, it's reprehensible.
Where can I get free legal advice for a divorce in CA?
I mean really FREEWhere can I get free legal advice for a divorce in CA?
It is cheaper to keep 'erWhere can I get free legal advice for a divorce in CA?
One of my favorite statements is: The only thing free in life is BAD advice. buy a Nolo Press book on divorce.
If you want free legal advice then why not search for a free clinic for legal advisory in your state. May take you a while to find one. Do some research. Call around. There are bound to be some somewhere.
Most metropolitan areas have free legal service organizations for people who met income requirements.
Legalzoom.com
It is cheaper to keep 'erWhere can I get free legal advice for a divorce in CA?
One of my favorite statements is: The only thing free in life is BAD advice. buy a Nolo Press book on divorce.
If you want free legal advice then why not search for a free clinic for legal advisory in your state. May take you a while to find one. Do some research. Call around. There are bound to be some somewhere.
Most metropolitan areas have free legal service organizations for people who met income requirements.
Legalzoom.com
Mi rents r getting a divorce any advice to get over this?
HELPMi rents r getting a divorce any advice to get over this?
Call your grandparents or another close family members to talk about your frustrations and sadness with...and just take it day by day just don't think it's your fault...cause it will make you feel bad and send you into deep depression and that's not a good thing just talk it over with someone you feel comfortable with.and cry because its not good to hold in anger, frustrations, mad or sadness because it will just pile up and when you do decide to let it out it want be good for you or anybody that your mad at or that is around you.Mi rents r getting a divorce any advice to get over this?
When my parents divorced it was actually a relief. They were so miserable that they were making us kids miserable with all their fighting %26amp; argueing.
Just try and take it a day at a time. Remember it's not your fault. And seek the Lord for calmness and peace.
what is that? OHHHHHHHH parents ok love them the best way you can and if love still exists the marriage will not disintegrate
I will pray for you
Call your grandparents or another close family members to talk about your frustrations and sadness with...and just take it day by day just don't think it's your fault...cause it will make you feel bad and send you into deep depression and that's not a good thing just talk it over with someone you feel comfortable with.and cry because its not good to hold in anger, frustrations, mad or sadness because it will just pile up and when you do decide to let it out it want be good for you or anybody that your mad at or that is around you.Mi rents r getting a divorce any advice to get over this?
When my parents divorced it was actually a relief. They were so miserable that they were making us kids miserable with all their fighting %26amp; argueing.
Just try and take it a day at a time. Remember it's not your fault. And seek the Lord for calmness and peace.
what is that? OHHHHHHHH parents ok love them the best way you can and if love still exists the marriage will not disintegrate
I will pray for you
Getting a divorce......need advice?
been married 12 years. 3 kids. he doesn't spend time with them or seem to notice they are even around. but swears he will fight me to the grave for them. they are young...3, 4 and 8. i thinkhe is saying it just to keep me here....is he bluffing and should i call his bluff, or do i stay because of them? and if i take them and leave, is it kidnapping, could it be held against me? not across the country, just to a friends house?Getting a divorce......need advice?
leaving to a friends house is not kidnapping. and call his bluff, if you take care of them just as well if not better, they wont just give full custody to someone. most states are joint physical custody anyway...good luck...Getting a divorce......need advice?
Have you tried talking to him about the time he spends with them? He can fight you for them but it doesn't mean that he will win. Have a friend in the same situation and she won custody
You can pack up your kids and go to a friend's house. That is not kidnapping. Where it can get hairy is if you refuse him contact with the kids. If you are serious, leave then contact a lawyer. Do not stay just because of the kids. They can see you are not happy, I'm sure. There is no reason for you to stay miserable, just to try to improve their lives. It won't work. If there is a chance in the marriage, try to get him into counseling. If he won't do that, talk to the lawyer. You aren't making any final decisions by contacting a lawyer. You are just getting advice in case you do leave.
If I were u I would contact a lawyer before doing anything. There is nothing wrong with taking your kids with u to stay at a friends house, as long as it is not out of the country. Your husband is probably just bluffing, but I wouldn't take any chances. Discuss everything with a lawyer that way there won't be anything for him to use against u in court.
It is NOT kidnapping if you are still married! get a lawyer and sue his butt.
Get a legal separation. You will win custody of the kids, but ... be careful, if he is spiteful, he may end up kidnapping them...all kinds of things to think out here.
talk to a lawyer to see what you can do they will give you free legal advice if you call the right people
talk to your lawyer they'll tell you what to do,
Personally, I wouldnt want to be miserable for any childrens sake. They know you are misreable and can feel that and you dont want to raise them to think that is normal or acceptable. He probably will fight you just because he doesnt want to leave you....but you owe it to yourself and your children to try to be in a happy environment.
check out this group
you can take your kids wear ever you want there yours.
you must talk to your lawyer now.
file with the courts for a divorce %26amp; temp.custy.papers
this way he cant get them untill you go and talk with the judge.
if it takes a year he cant get them..
also has to pay child support till thain.
GOOD LUCK.
leaving to a friends house is not kidnapping. and call his bluff, if you take care of them just as well if not better, they wont just give full custody to someone. most states are joint physical custody anyway...good luck...Getting a divorce......need advice?
Have you tried talking to him about the time he spends with them? He can fight you for them but it doesn't mean that he will win. Have a friend in the same situation and she won custody
You can pack up your kids and go to a friend's house. That is not kidnapping. Where it can get hairy is if you refuse him contact with the kids. If you are serious, leave then contact a lawyer. Do not stay just because of the kids. They can see you are not happy, I'm sure. There is no reason for you to stay miserable, just to try to improve their lives. It won't work. If there is a chance in the marriage, try to get him into counseling. If he won't do that, talk to the lawyer. You aren't making any final decisions by contacting a lawyer. You are just getting advice in case you do leave.
If I were u I would contact a lawyer before doing anything. There is nothing wrong with taking your kids with u to stay at a friends house, as long as it is not out of the country. Your husband is probably just bluffing, but I wouldn't take any chances. Discuss everything with a lawyer that way there won't be anything for him to use against u in court.
It is NOT kidnapping if you are still married! get a lawyer and sue his butt.
Get a legal separation. You will win custody of the kids, but ... be careful, if he is spiteful, he may end up kidnapping them...all kinds of things to think out here.
talk to a lawyer to see what you can do they will give you free legal advice if you call the right people
talk to your lawyer they'll tell you what to do,
Personally, I wouldnt want to be miserable for any childrens sake. They know you are misreable and can feel that and you dont want to raise them to think that is normal or acceptable. He probably will fight you just because he doesnt want to leave you....but you owe it to yourself and your children to try to be in a happy environment.
check out this group
you can take your kids wear ever you want there yours.
you must talk to your lawyer now.
file with the courts for a divorce %26amp; temp.custy.papers
this way he cant get them untill you go and talk with the judge.
if it takes a year he cant get them..
also has to pay child support till thain.
GOOD LUCK.
I am married for 10 years to a man who is Narcissitic Personality. I want to Divorce, please advice...?
hire a lawyer....................I am married for 10 years to a man who is Narcissitic Personality. I want to Divorce, please advice...?
see a lawyerI am married for 10 years to a man who is Narcissitic Personality. I want to Divorce, please advice...?
This is the correct way to restate your question:
I have been married to a man with a narcissistic personality for ten years. I want to divorce from him. Will you please advise me what to do?
You dont really say why you want to divorce him. Even if you did do you really think it's a good idea to be getting advice about this from here? Before you go out and file divorce papers please consider seeing a marriage consuler(sp?). Too many people now adays give up without really trying and you will regret it later. If things dont work out at after trying to work it out at least you can say you tried. Good luck :)
WHY WOULD YOU WANNA GET A DIVORCE
It is unusual for people suffering from narcissism to seek treatment for their problems, or even to consider that they might have a problem [9]. The fears that narcissistic people have of being inadequate make it very difficult for them to imagine having “something wrong” with them, and they certainly would not feel safe in acknowledging these fears to another person. They are typically very threatened by the notion of entering psychotherapy, since they fear the result would be that the therapist would be critical and rejecting towards them. Essentially, they imagine that the therapist would relate to them as their parents did. They are very likely to be disdainful and disparaging in response to the notion of psychotherapy. Unfortunately, narcissism is a relatively stable condition and tends to remain relatively unchanged over one’s lifetime. Current treatments for psychological disorders have little help to offer narcissistic people
so its up to you to leave him alone with this kind of personality disorder or help him out.
Girl put your chin up and go for it..... don't stoop to his level and show him who is boss and get the divorce... just don't do anything immature so you look like the one with the head on your shoulders.... I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you but why waste more time on something that isn't going to work...
The question i would like to ask you is ';how long did it take you to find out how he is?
if you have lived with hom for 10 years then you would have picked up some of the traits too
call a divorce lawyer %26amp; file!!...tell him to move out %26amp; take nothing!
Talk to a lawyer.
First make sure you have told him why. I think it's unfair to expect someone to change if they don't know what it is that htye are doing. I f you alreasdy have then just leave. You gave it a chance and made it known what your needs are. Leave, get a place and find yourself a good lawyer.
I would say, ';Get a lawyer.';
Okay - so get a divorce. Hire a lawyer and get the ball rolling. Sounds like you've made up your mind, and, if this guy is like that, it sounds like you've made the right decision...but you haven't exactly given a whole lot of detail here.
Get a lawyer and good luck!
There is surely something that drew you to him 10 yrs ago before you married him. Focus on his stregnths and his positive side. Who said marriage will be a bed of roses without thorns? Those thorns are usually our imperfections, our selfishness, and the imperfections and selfishness of our spouses and that of our children.
If you seek to be selfless and loving in your marriage no matter what, you will see changes in your husband (I am married I have seen it work).
Talk to him about how you feel if you have not. When you do so, tell him in a non-blaming, non complaining, non finger pointing manner. At all cost do it with love, usually when you are not angry and when he is not angry or preoccupied with something else.
Remember we all are self centered..we love attention. Give him a chance. Love is patient, kind, sacrificial, does not keep a record of wrong, not self seeking, not easily angered. You know this is the most difficult practice married people have- love. One gives love without expecting any in return. If you are selfless most people will be selfless with you including your hubby.
I commend you to have been in the marriage for 10 yrs. Most people give up in their early years. Continue on. Pray for your marriage, yourself and him. The 10 years that you have been married, there must have been something that kept you going. There is too much divorce it is sickening- dont add to the numbers if it is not ultimately necessary.
Divorce is the last resort.Try for union.
http://www.diabetics.blogspot.comred lipstick
see a lawyerI am married for 10 years to a man who is Narcissitic Personality. I want to Divorce, please advice...?
This is the correct way to restate your question:
I have been married to a man with a narcissistic personality for ten years. I want to divorce from him. Will you please advise me what to do?
You dont really say why you want to divorce him. Even if you did do you really think it's a good idea to be getting advice about this from here? Before you go out and file divorce papers please consider seeing a marriage consuler(sp?). Too many people now adays give up without really trying and you will regret it later. If things dont work out at after trying to work it out at least you can say you tried. Good luck :)
WHY WOULD YOU WANNA GET A DIVORCE
It is unusual for people suffering from narcissism to seek treatment for their problems, or even to consider that they might have a problem [9]. The fears that narcissistic people have of being inadequate make it very difficult for them to imagine having “something wrong” with them, and they certainly would not feel safe in acknowledging these fears to another person. They are typically very threatened by the notion of entering psychotherapy, since they fear the result would be that the therapist would be critical and rejecting towards them. Essentially, they imagine that the therapist would relate to them as their parents did. They are very likely to be disdainful and disparaging in response to the notion of psychotherapy. Unfortunately, narcissism is a relatively stable condition and tends to remain relatively unchanged over one’s lifetime. Current treatments for psychological disorders have little help to offer narcissistic people
so its up to you to leave him alone with this kind of personality disorder or help him out.
Girl put your chin up and go for it..... don't stoop to his level and show him who is boss and get the divorce... just don't do anything immature so you look like the one with the head on your shoulders.... I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you but why waste more time on something that isn't going to work...
The question i would like to ask you is ';how long did it take you to find out how he is?
if you have lived with hom for 10 years then you would have picked up some of the traits too
call a divorce lawyer %26amp; file!!...tell him to move out %26amp; take nothing!
Talk to a lawyer.
First make sure you have told him why. I think it's unfair to expect someone to change if they don't know what it is that htye are doing. I f you alreasdy have then just leave. You gave it a chance and made it known what your needs are. Leave, get a place and find yourself a good lawyer.
I would say, ';Get a lawyer.';
Okay - so get a divorce. Hire a lawyer and get the ball rolling. Sounds like you've made up your mind, and, if this guy is like that, it sounds like you've made the right decision...but you haven't exactly given a whole lot of detail here.
Get a lawyer and good luck!
There is surely something that drew you to him 10 yrs ago before you married him. Focus on his stregnths and his positive side. Who said marriage will be a bed of roses without thorns? Those thorns are usually our imperfections, our selfishness, and the imperfections and selfishness of our spouses and that of our children.
If you seek to be selfless and loving in your marriage no matter what, you will see changes in your husband (I am married I have seen it work).
Talk to him about how you feel if you have not. When you do so, tell him in a non-blaming, non complaining, non finger pointing manner. At all cost do it with love, usually when you are not angry and when he is not angry or preoccupied with something else.
Remember we all are self centered..we love attention. Give him a chance. Love is patient, kind, sacrificial, does not keep a record of wrong, not self seeking, not easily angered. You know this is the most difficult practice married people have- love. One gives love without expecting any in return. If you are selfless most people will be selfless with you including your hubby.
I commend you to have been in the marriage for 10 yrs. Most people give up in their early years. Continue on. Pray for your marriage, yourself and him. The 10 years that you have been married, there must have been something that kept you going. There is too much divorce it is sickening- dont add to the numbers if it is not ultimately necessary.
Divorce is the last resort.Try for union.
http://www.diabetics.blogspot.com
Whats best advice for thinking about a divorce?
need ideas.Whats best advice for thinking about a divorce?
1, talk things over
2, get counseling
3, think things over
4, get advice from a church %26amp; family %26amp; friends
5, Get a Lawyer
6, Try Getting a motel first %26amp; diffrent thingsWhats best advice for thinking about a divorce?
When you can walk away from your spouse, with no anger, hate, or any ill feelings. When you can wish them well and want them to have a good life, and mean it. When you can walk away with a peaceful heart, knowing you have done everything you could to save your marriage. There is a new movie out called Fireproof. It is christian based and it about a young man and his wife, who for whatever reason can't communicate. She is ready to call it quites, and he after his father suggests it, tries to win her heart back in 40 days. It is a good movie and it brings a lot of why couples have miscommunication. You might give it a try.
Make sure you can afford the consequences.
Make sure you are doing it for the right reason.
Make sure when you walk away you have no ill feelings toward the other person.
Make sure that you respect the other person still.
Make sure you're ready for a different lifestyle afterwards.
Make sure your kids (if you have them) know they still have their parents' love.
Make sure this is what you want before going forward.
first get the advice of a lawyer to make sure u know what your rights are. first talk it over,see if there is anything else u could do to save the marriage because u don't want to rethink it years down the road and realize it could have been saved with some therapy, or christian counseling.
I would advise you and your wife to go to DivorceCare separately BEFORE you get divorced.
Almost everyone that goes through this 13 week program says - ';I wish I had known this stuff BEFORE I got married!';
It's to your advantage to do this. Finding about yourself could save what you've got left.
Quit thinking about it. Think more of how you can save your relationship.
You shouldn't be thinking about divorce if your married
get a lawyer
1, talk things over
2, get counseling
3, think things over
4, get advice from a church %26amp; family %26amp; friends
5, Get a Lawyer
6, Try Getting a motel first %26amp; diffrent thingsWhats best advice for thinking about a divorce?
When you can walk away from your spouse, with no anger, hate, or any ill feelings. When you can wish them well and want them to have a good life, and mean it. When you can walk away with a peaceful heart, knowing you have done everything you could to save your marriage. There is a new movie out called Fireproof. It is christian based and it about a young man and his wife, who for whatever reason can't communicate. She is ready to call it quites, and he after his father suggests it, tries to win her heart back in 40 days. It is a good movie and it brings a lot of why couples have miscommunication. You might give it a try.
Make sure you can afford the consequences.
Make sure you are doing it for the right reason.
Make sure when you walk away you have no ill feelings toward the other person.
Make sure that you respect the other person still.
Make sure you're ready for a different lifestyle afterwards.
Make sure your kids (if you have them) know they still have their parents' love.
Make sure this is what you want before going forward.
first get the advice of a lawyer to make sure u know what your rights are. first talk it over,see if there is anything else u could do to save the marriage because u don't want to rethink it years down the road and realize it could have been saved with some therapy, or christian counseling.
I would advise you and your wife to go to DivorceCare separately BEFORE you get divorced.
Almost everyone that goes through this 13 week program says - ';I wish I had known this stuff BEFORE I got married!';
It's to your advantage to do this. Finding about yourself could save what you've got left.
Quit thinking about it. Think more of how you can save your relationship.
You shouldn't be thinking about divorce if your married
get a lawyer
Legal advice. How long until I can remarry after divorce in Texas?
How long is the waiting period in Texas? How long after divorce is final can you get remarried? I heard 30 days but not for sure, also does anyone know how long it takes to get child support transfered from one county to another in Texas?Legal advice. How long until I can remarry after divorce in Texas?
Ask a lawyer, or call your local court house.Legal advice. How long until I can remarry after divorce in Texas?
I'm not sure about texas but I had to had to show my final ceryified divorce paper when i get remarried.
30 days after divorce is final.
you probably need to wait beyond 30 days to get remarried... why the rush? talk to who $$ is sent to...
i dont no in texas but in los vegas,u can get married n divorced in the same day.peace
Ask a lawyer, or call your local court house.Legal advice. How long until I can remarry after divorce in Texas?
I'm not sure about texas but I had to had to show my final ceryified divorce paper when i get remarried.
30 days after divorce is final.
you probably need to wait beyond 30 days to get remarried... why the rush? talk to who $$ is sent to...
i dont no in texas but in los vegas,u can get married n divorced in the same day.peace
Is there anywhere you can get free legal advice regarding a divorce?
Unfortunately free advice is usually worth precisely what you pay for it. For something as important as a divorce, you need an attorney to be sure it's done right. There may be a Legal Aid group where you live that can recommend someone who would not charge too much.Is there anywhere you can get free legal advice regarding a divorce?
the internetIs there anywhere you can get free legal advice regarding a divorce?
answers.yahoo.com
Contact the State Bar Association in your State. You can ask them for a Pro-Bono attorney.
Other than that, welcome to the world of over priced attorneys that waste time in family court and suck you dry.
There's a divorce kit at office depot that cost 25.00 it has everything in it.
the internetIs there anywhere you can get free legal advice regarding a divorce?
answers.yahoo.com
Contact the State Bar Association in your State. You can ask them for a Pro-Bono attorney.
Other than that, welcome to the world of over priced attorneys that waste time in family court and suck you dry.
There's a divorce kit at office depot that cost 25.00 it has everything in it.
Need some advice...Divorce or stay?
I am miserable in my marriage. I feel like I am a built in babysitter, maid and play toy. My husband has custody of his 9 yr old daughter and I do everything with her. He rarely helps with her homework, housework, etc. He makes me feel guilty if I want to spend time with my family, they live 2 hours away and his is next door. Now I am having some health problems and he doesn't seem one bit concerned. I still have my own home that I had before we met and can go back there, what would some of you do in the situtation? I just DO NOT feel like I am appreciated any. I am more concerned about his daughter than him, if we divorce, what will happen to her??Who will be there for her??Need some advice...Divorce or stay?
Honest? its not your problem. You can always be there for the kid if she wants you to be but you have to look after you. its not your child, you may love it and want to be there but at the same time how can you really be there for her if you are in hell? Kids are not dumb, they will pick up on that. I know its a tough call but if you are that bad a shape and not happy, time to move on babe!Need some advice...Divorce or stay?
i think that u shld talk to him ( dun tell me u cannot talk to him) I feel that he shld also let you know how he feel, maybe after talking to him, u will realise u misunderstand him, for maybe he thinks that you like doing what you are doing. he do not know that you also need care and concern and love....
if things really is bad, then i think u shld consult a laywer and see if u can get the custody of his daughter since the daughter likes u better. when there is a will, there will be a way, if you dun have money to ask consultation from a lawyer, ask ard your frens who know about this kind of domestic matters. i believed in your country there are also association that are dealing with you and can help you with it.
You need to take care of *you* first.
I can imagine how you must feel but you have to think about what you are saying. You are not happy, if you aren't happy then how can the children possibly be happy. Do you want them growing up thinking it's ok to live like that? If you love your husband, try counseling, if not then you must go. Ask for a trial separation and see what happens.
You are being treated like crap because you allow it to go on. This is ridiculous, especially in your situation, i.e. having a place you could go. My advice to you is to move into your own home immediately. When the moron you married realizes that he cannot get on without you (this should take about five minutes, considering how worthless he is), do not get back with him unless he agrees to attend counselling with you.
If you are already speaking with him about it and he is appearing not to care it may be because he does not understand. Try thinking of a different way to explain it or show it to him. For example, my husband has a terrible habit of throwing toothpicks on the floor. I hate it and have repeatedly asked him not to do that. Finally I just pick them up and stuck them in the keyboard of his computer. He put his hands down to type and ow! It was the showing that helped. I know toothpicks and children are not the same but just using an example. Getting divorced is not the answer. But if you need some space you can certainly get some.
i think you would be better off leaving - because it seems to me if it is like this now, how bad will it be in another 10 or 20 years?
But it might be more mature to talk this over with some kind of counselor or life planner or life coach before taking major actions.
leave his sorry *** and come be my live in slave. I could always use one of those.
stop worrying about everyone else, and start takeing care of yourself, once you have displayed that, what ever is going to happen shall happen, stick to your guns.
The only reason two people should get divorced is because one comitted adultry. You vowed for better or worse. You can still leave him and go to your house and hell bring the daughter with you.
well... i'm not married yet but I don't know if my advice will be suitable for you, but from the situation you described, have you ever communicate with your husband? Because many marriages failed because of miscommunication. If he can't compromise even after you communicate, leaving him would be best... take your daughter with you.
First you seem to be mother for his child not his own wife. perhaps this cold feelings of his has led his ex to leave for another man. But I think your problem is not good enough for divorce. Perhaps he does not know how to treat a wife and step by step you have to teach him. He has to understand that you are only responsible for your own life and you own children's life ( if any ). If you take care of her, it is because of your kindness and not a part of your responsibility. Perhaps you can have a babysitter to look after her to visit friends and relatives. However, men usually expect from women whatever women do as a habit. I mean he expects you to take care of his child because you did it from the first day so he thinks of it as something normal and if you do not do it one day , it seems abnormal to him.
U need to talk to him, not yahoo ppl for starters. Also u could still have a relationship with his daughter with or without him. Does he know u feel that way? If so, corrective action needs taken and that would fall squarly on your shoulders. Also there is nothing wrong with caring for his daughter more than him. Maybe ur more compassionate and caring than him which is normal between males and females. I'm not saying he shouldn't care for his daughter, but she needs someone and it looks to be u. Where is here real mother? Finally I don't think u should ever stay married due to children. They will grow up and see where the problems were and they can come to there own conclusions.
Honest? its not your problem. You can always be there for the kid if she wants you to be but you have to look after you. its not your child, you may love it and want to be there but at the same time how can you really be there for her if you are in hell? Kids are not dumb, they will pick up on that. I know its a tough call but if you are that bad a shape and not happy, time to move on babe!Need some advice...Divorce or stay?
i think that u shld talk to him ( dun tell me u cannot talk to him) I feel that he shld also let you know how he feel, maybe after talking to him, u will realise u misunderstand him, for maybe he thinks that you like doing what you are doing. he do not know that you also need care and concern and love....
if things really is bad, then i think u shld consult a laywer and see if u can get the custody of his daughter since the daughter likes u better. when there is a will, there will be a way, if you dun have money to ask consultation from a lawyer, ask ard your frens who know about this kind of domestic matters. i believed in your country there are also association that are dealing with you and can help you with it.
You need to take care of *you* first.
I can imagine how you must feel but you have to think about what you are saying. You are not happy, if you aren't happy then how can the children possibly be happy. Do you want them growing up thinking it's ok to live like that? If you love your husband, try counseling, if not then you must go. Ask for a trial separation and see what happens.
You are being treated like crap because you allow it to go on. This is ridiculous, especially in your situation, i.e. having a place you could go. My advice to you is to move into your own home immediately. When the moron you married realizes that he cannot get on without you (this should take about five minutes, considering how worthless he is), do not get back with him unless he agrees to attend counselling with you.
If you are already speaking with him about it and he is appearing not to care it may be because he does not understand. Try thinking of a different way to explain it or show it to him. For example, my husband has a terrible habit of throwing toothpicks on the floor. I hate it and have repeatedly asked him not to do that. Finally I just pick them up and stuck them in the keyboard of his computer. He put his hands down to type and ow! It was the showing that helped. I know toothpicks and children are not the same but just using an example. Getting divorced is not the answer. But if you need some space you can certainly get some.
i think you would be better off leaving - because it seems to me if it is like this now, how bad will it be in another 10 or 20 years?
But it might be more mature to talk this over with some kind of counselor or life planner or life coach before taking major actions.
leave his sorry *** and come be my live in slave. I could always use one of those.
stop worrying about everyone else, and start takeing care of yourself, once you have displayed that, what ever is going to happen shall happen, stick to your guns.
The only reason two people should get divorced is because one comitted adultry. You vowed for better or worse. You can still leave him and go to your house and hell bring the daughter with you.
well... i'm not married yet but I don't know if my advice will be suitable for you, but from the situation you described, have you ever communicate with your husband? Because many marriages failed because of miscommunication. If he can't compromise even after you communicate, leaving him would be best... take your daughter with you.
First you seem to be mother for his child not his own wife. perhaps this cold feelings of his has led his ex to leave for another man. But I think your problem is not good enough for divorce. Perhaps he does not know how to treat a wife and step by step you have to teach him. He has to understand that you are only responsible for your own life and you own children's life ( if any ). If you take care of her, it is because of your kindness and not a part of your responsibility. Perhaps you can have a babysitter to look after her to visit friends and relatives. However, men usually expect from women whatever women do as a habit. I mean he expects you to take care of his child because you did it from the first day so he thinks of it as something normal and if you do not do it one day , it seems abnormal to him.
U need to talk to him, not yahoo ppl for starters. Also u could still have a relationship with his daughter with or without him. Does he know u feel that way? If so, corrective action needs taken and that would fall squarly on your shoulders. Also there is nothing wrong with caring for his daughter more than him. Maybe ur more compassionate and caring than him which is normal between males and females. I'm not saying he shouldn't care for his daughter, but she needs someone and it looks to be u. Where is here real mother? Finally I don't think u should ever stay married due to children. They will grow up and see where the problems were and they can come to there own conclusions.
My husband and I can not agree on arrangments for our newborn son pertaining to our divorce any advice?
I want the best for our son truly I do. I want my husband to be apart of his life completly in everyway I can facilitate but he has a history of drugs and alchohol and when he is not clean and sober he is abusive, and neglectfull. He has not been sober for longer than 2 months in our marriage of 2 years. He has been in and out of jail and I think if we go throught the divorce process I would win because my evidence is substantial but I hate fighting, and just want to settle this but he refuses anything other than joint custody and wants my son in his mothers house (whom is also a drug attic) with him 50 percent of the time. I can not get him to see the concerns or that it is unrealistic, he is not in treatment and not always sober but fighting is going to take so much money I dont know what to do, he got drunk and left his niece alone...any suggestions?My husband and I can not agree on arrangments for our newborn son pertaining to our divorce any advice?
get a public defender. or someone that will fight pro bono for you. it looks like you are going to have to fight him by the way he is acting so you might as well do it now.My husband and I can not agree on arrangments for our newborn son pertaining to our divorce any advice?
well no matter what im sorry you had a not so well life with him divorce not realy an answer asking yahoo and the members cant really do anything but advice and thats what im gonna give to you split half way for now see if he wants and will change to better the life between you both i know its hard to have to drag rather for him to want to to it but get him help be by his side and show him that you care and you want to save it rather then throw it all away i wish you luck and all and if you want someone to talk with just send me a instent message ok take care
My friend just went though this in Maine and she got SOLE custody.....take out a loan or ask for public assistance. They...the court will make him have supervised visits and also drug tests...random drug tests...hair testing as well....you will win I think....don't let $$$$ stop you...your child is more important than a new car or wardrobe. BTW, why did you MARRY this man? But mostly,why did you let him father your child?
You need to do whats best for your son fight for him all the way!And don't let the son go live with his mother that is wrong YOU are the mom not her. FIGHT FOR YOUR SON. Good luck to you and your son and God Bless
You have to fight him in court. Do not have joint custody. Let him have visitation with no over nights. My father was(still is) an alcoholic. My mom tried the joint custody thing and it didn't work, he drank when he was supposed to be caring for us. My mom took him back to court and changed him to having visitation 3 times per week for 3 hrs each visit, and in the beginning the visits were supervised. If you get a public defender the costs won't be bad. You can't let this slip by though, you have to protect your child, especially a newborn baby. A baby can't be left unsupervised at all for any amount of time. If he shows responsibility during visitation you can allow him more time. After my father straightened up my mom let him take us camping and stuff. He had to show that he wouldn't be drinking while we were with him though. As a mother it is your 1st and foremost job to put your child's safety first, forget any fears or aversions you have and look out for your child. Remember if anything happens to that baby you will blame yourself if you do nothing to protect him.
go to court for custody when all is going on have your atty. request that both of you are drug tested (you better be clean) then ask for custody and your x to have visitation but no matter what both of you need to be part of the childs life
You have no problem here. With his documented (jail/police reports) history of drugs and alcohol, you will automatically be awarded child custody (as long as you have no child or drug abuse charges), child support, the house and possible spousal support. If you agree, he would get state mandated supervised visitation rights with no overnights til he proves hes clean over a lengthy time period. You can get a protective restraining order for you and your son if needbe. With his history, he has nothing to stand on in court but thats his wn fault and not yours. Good luck
If it was my baby no alcoholic looser would be allowed to even look in my baby's direction. i would fight with everything i have inside me to make sure dysfunctional family members don't have any rights. i know you dont want to fight and want him to be in the baby's life, but you're gonna have a lot of problems with him getting fucked up, the mother too and not taking care of the kid properly.
if those 2 weeks of sobriety were actually years, MAYBE. but that's just me i'm really protective over the ones i love, i can't even imagine if it was my baby.
get a public defender. or someone that will fight pro bono for you. it looks like you are going to have to fight him by the way he is acting so you might as well do it now.My husband and I can not agree on arrangments for our newborn son pertaining to our divorce any advice?
well no matter what im sorry you had a not so well life with him divorce not realy an answer asking yahoo and the members cant really do anything but advice and thats what im gonna give to you split half way for now see if he wants and will change to better the life between you both i know its hard to have to drag rather for him to want to to it but get him help be by his side and show him that you care and you want to save it rather then throw it all away i wish you luck and all and if you want someone to talk with just send me a instent message ok take care
My friend just went though this in Maine and she got SOLE custody.....take out a loan or ask for public assistance. They...the court will make him have supervised visits and also drug tests...random drug tests...hair testing as well....you will win I think....don't let $$$$ stop you...your child is more important than a new car or wardrobe. BTW, why did you MARRY this man? But mostly,why did you let him father your child?
You need to do whats best for your son fight for him all the way!And don't let the son go live with his mother that is wrong YOU are the mom not her. FIGHT FOR YOUR SON. Good luck to you and your son and God Bless
You have to fight him in court. Do not have joint custody. Let him have visitation with no over nights. My father was(still is) an alcoholic. My mom tried the joint custody thing and it didn't work, he drank when he was supposed to be caring for us. My mom took him back to court and changed him to having visitation 3 times per week for 3 hrs each visit, and in the beginning the visits were supervised. If you get a public defender the costs won't be bad. You can't let this slip by though, you have to protect your child, especially a newborn baby. A baby can't be left unsupervised at all for any amount of time. If he shows responsibility during visitation you can allow him more time. After my father straightened up my mom let him take us camping and stuff. He had to show that he wouldn't be drinking while we were with him though. As a mother it is your 1st and foremost job to put your child's safety first, forget any fears or aversions you have and look out for your child. Remember if anything happens to that baby you will blame yourself if you do nothing to protect him.
go to court for custody when all is going on have your atty. request that both of you are drug tested (you better be clean) then ask for custody and your x to have visitation but no matter what both of you need to be part of the childs life
You have no problem here. With his documented (jail/police reports) history of drugs and alcohol, you will automatically be awarded child custody (as long as you have no child or drug abuse charges), child support, the house and possible spousal support. If you agree, he would get state mandated supervised visitation rights with no overnights til he proves hes clean over a lengthy time period. You can get a protective restraining order for you and your son if needbe. With his history, he has nothing to stand on in court but thats his wn fault and not yours. Good luck
If it was my baby no alcoholic looser would be allowed to even look in my baby's direction. i would fight with everything i have inside me to make sure dysfunctional family members don't have any rights. i know you dont want to fight and want him to be in the baby's life, but you're gonna have a lot of problems with him getting fucked up, the mother too and not taking care of the kid properly.
if those 2 weeks of sobriety were actually years, MAYBE. but that's just me i'm really protective over the ones i love, i can't even imagine if it was my baby.
Any advice ?divorce,9 mth old baby,house,litterally insane wife .....?
after 11 yrs together we had a baby.We had had fights aprx every two yrs where she would leave for a mth or two and then come back.We thought it was reactions to her birth control.When we decided to have a baby we thought I was earning enuff $$ for her to quit her job but then my industry tanked.I was only making $35k per yr and she made $20k per yr and we need $50k to keep the home.She worked 24 hrs per week on avg,I worked from home.She could have taken over my biz at anytime so I could've worked outside of home but she would not,so I had to raise the baby and did so happily.She resented me for it.In laws visited and attacked the baby routine and me making baby scream for 10 days.they went home and wife was very upset next 6 days.I was stressed and got into it with a neighbor.She took baby 1000 miles away,wants to sell the home in divorce,I want to keep it,she wants me to never see my son again.I feel guilty fighting her but can not get another home as self employed to qualify mtg.Any advice ?divorce,9 mth old baby,house,litterally insane wife .....?
Dang, I'm sorry! I say fight her! She should'nt be threating you with your child! Unless your a horrible father you should always have rights to your child!!!!Any advice ?divorce,9 mth old baby,house,litterally insane wife .....?
I am not sure, but isn't there a law that would not allow her to move so far if you are getting shared custody? And can you prove that you were your sons primary caregiver? Good luck. Sorry for such a tough situation. Get a lawyer, and fast, because things get twisted so easily.red lipstick
Dang, I'm sorry! I say fight her! She should'nt be threating you with your child! Unless your a horrible father you should always have rights to your child!!!!Any advice ?divorce,9 mth old baby,house,litterally insane wife .....?
I am not sure, but isn't there a law that would not allow her to move so far if you are getting shared custody? And can you prove that you were your sons primary caregiver? Good luck. Sorry for such a tough situation. Get a lawyer, and fast, because things get twisted so easily.
What is some good advice for someone getting a divorce?
My wife %26amp; I have agreed to get divorced, but we're not even sure where to begin! 1 income instead of 2, child support, joint custody...so much to think about!What is some good advice for someone getting a divorce?
Well, funnily enough, after divorce, things seem to fall into place naturally. You have to actually do it before things become clear. Thinking about it will only delay the inevitable. Maybe the two of you are looking at all the financial aspects because you really dont want to get a divorce....Maybe both of you are making excuses to go through with it.
Like I said, untill you do it, then all sorts of problems will arise in your mind. You just have to take every day as it comes and realize there is still a lot of grieving to be done.What is some good advice for someone getting a divorce?
If there's no way to get the marriage back, then I would agree since you have children to be civil to each other, treat each other politely at all times. NEVER badmouth each other to your children, and try to force them to take sides.
See if u have Legal aid your area. Talk to them. U can do it yourself too. Get a dissolution its cheaper but u have to agree on everything.
take your name off of all accounts, drag it out so things can be civil and it'll be cheaper, get what you want now, divorce papers cannot change for 2 years after.
It seems like an amicable breakup. If that is the case, make sure that you can both try to work things out BEFORE you get lawyers. Don't fight for what you really don't want, and be nice. If things get dirty, consult every good lawyer you can think of, that way she can't get the lawyer.
First you should make the arrangements in separation of your house, bills, cars, life insurance, stocks, anything financial. Lawyers cost a lot of money, and that would save you tons. Usually the husband pays for the wife's lawyers fees.
Then after you can start with the child support, visitation and all that. I always believed that if a couple owns a home, they should sell it and split the equity, but that's just me. if you have more than 2 cars, sell and split.
Joint custody, make it as easy for the kids as you possibly can. Is it posible for you to start leaving the house little by little instead of altogether? Like get a place, then sleep over there one night a week with the kids. Then go back, in a few weeks make it 2 days, and so on and so forth. It would be easier for them, and you. Also try to go to counseling with the kids, so they know that it's not a bad thing, and it's not their fault. Avoid fighting in front of them, and never put down the other parent.
I don't agree with letting the kids chose who they live with because this causes them to play games with the parents. One parent said no you can't get a tattoo, so the kid goes with the parent who would be more likely to let them get it. Keep the same rules in both homes, so their stability doesnt spin out of control. Also they dont deserve to have that burden on them. They will always feels guilty about it, as if they were forced to make the adult decisions, and betraying one parent.
Well if you both feel this is the best then first you both need to at least stay civil to each other if kids are involved. You don't have to like each other be you really need to at least keep things civil. Don't try to get revenge on each other and don't use your kids to get back at the other one. Their the ones that will get hurt in the end. If your the one with the income then she'll just have to do like the rest of us and get a job! She can't live and support the kids on just child support. There's rent / house payment, electric bill, water bill, gas, car payment maybe, car insurance, Health insurance [ at least for herself if your will to keep them on your coverage ] Joint custody is great for you both, but is it the right thing for the kids. 6 months with you, 6 months with her. Moving them back and forth and back and forth. I mean really?? They need to be in a steady environment where they can get use to the idea of mom and dad not being together any more. They don't need to feel pulled between you both. Everything you both decide to do needs to be for the kids and about the kids. You may ask them who they want to live with and don't feel hurt or mad that they choice the other. And then let them know they can live with the one they want. Sometimes the boys want to be with dad and the girls with mom. Just let them have a choice without feeling that they've hurt you or your disappointed in them.And be there for them, always. Not part time. Let them be number one in all the decisions made here.
Try to stay strong and if he/she divorced you start dating or act like theres some one on the side don't be afraid to play the game with him/her. If you divorced hem/her stay away from that person and don't feel bad live your life not his/hers
When my daughter and her husband divorced, I gave them both the same advice.
!. Get a good lawyer
2. Keep the kids out of the middle of it.
I have no advice, apparently you two are in good terms, good luck.
Yes - you have a lot on your plate right now, and it will be hard, but one step at a time and you will work it out. You are very lucky that both of you are in agreement. If you can make this run as smoothly as possible, all of you will come out with a lot less grief than when couples are in a constant state of arguing over things. Lawyers make huge profits on this - so hopefully you won't put any more money in their pockets than is necessary.
The best advice I can give you, regarding the children is that they should come first and foremost. Just because you two can't work it out, please don't allow them to suffer in the mix. That is one of the biggest mistakes people make and the ripple effect runs deep.
Well, funnily enough, after divorce, things seem to fall into place naturally. You have to actually do it before things become clear. Thinking about it will only delay the inevitable. Maybe the two of you are looking at all the financial aspects because you really dont want to get a divorce....Maybe both of you are making excuses to go through with it.
Like I said, untill you do it, then all sorts of problems will arise in your mind. You just have to take every day as it comes and realize there is still a lot of grieving to be done.What is some good advice for someone getting a divorce?
If there's no way to get the marriage back, then I would agree since you have children to be civil to each other, treat each other politely at all times. NEVER badmouth each other to your children, and try to force them to take sides.
See if u have Legal aid your area. Talk to them. U can do it yourself too. Get a dissolution its cheaper but u have to agree on everything.
take your name off of all accounts, drag it out so things can be civil and it'll be cheaper, get what you want now, divorce papers cannot change for 2 years after.
It seems like an amicable breakup. If that is the case, make sure that you can both try to work things out BEFORE you get lawyers. Don't fight for what you really don't want, and be nice. If things get dirty, consult every good lawyer you can think of, that way she can't get the lawyer.
First you should make the arrangements in separation of your house, bills, cars, life insurance, stocks, anything financial. Lawyers cost a lot of money, and that would save you tons. Usually the husband pays for the wife's lawyers fees.
Then after you can start with the child support, visitation and all that. I always believed that if a couple owns a home, they should sell it and split the equity, but that's just me. if you have more than 2 cars, sell and split.
Joint custody, make it as easy for the kids as you possibly can. Is it posible for you to start leaving the house little by little instead of altogether? Like get a place, then sleep over there one night a week with the kids. Then go back, in a few weeks make it 2 days, and so on and so forth. It would be easier for them, and you. Also try to go to counseling with the kids, so they know that it's not a bad thing, and it's not their fault. Avoid fighting in front of them, and never put down the other parent.
I don't agree with letting the kids chose who they live with because this causes them to play games with the parents. One parent said no you can't get a tattoo, so the kid goes with the parent who would be more likely to let them get it. Keep the same rules in both homes, so their stability doesnt spin out of control. Also they dont deserve to have that burden on them. They will always feels guilty about it, as if they were forced to make the adult decisions, and betraying one parent.
Well if you both feel this is the best then first you both need to at least stay civil to each other if kids are involved. You don't have to like each other be you really need to at least keep things civil. Don't try to get revenge on each other and don't use your kids to get back at the other one. Their the ones that will get hurt in the end. If your the one with the income then she'll just have to do like the rest of us and get a job! She can't live and support the kids on just child support. There's rent / house payment, electric bill, water bill, gas, car payment maybe, car insurance, Health insurance [ at least for herself if your will to keep them on your coverage ] Joint custody is great for you both, but is it the right thing for the kids. 6 months with you, 6 months with her. Moving them back and forth and back and forth. I mean really?? They need to be in a steady environment where they can get use to the idea of mom and dad not being together any more. They don't need to feel pulled between you both. Everything you both decide to do needs to be for the kids and about the kids. You may ask them who they want to live with and don't feel hurt or mad that they choice the other. And then let them know they can live with the one they want. Sometimes the boys want to be with dad and the girls with mom. Just let them have a choice without feeling that they've hurt you or your disappointed in them.And be there for them, always. Not part time. Let them be number one in all the decisions made here.
Try to stay strong and if he/she divorced you start dating or act like theres some one on the side don't be afraid to play the game with him/her. If you divorced hem/her stay away from that person and don't feel bad live your life not his/hers
When my daughter and her husband divorced, I gave them both the same advice.
!. Get a good lawyer
2. Keep the kids out of the middle of it.
I have no advice, apparently you two are in good terms, good luck.
Yes - you have a lot on your plate right now, and it will be hard, but one step at a time and you will work it out. You are very lucky that both of you are in agreement. If you can make this run as smoothly as possible, all of you will come out with a lot less grief than when couples are in a constant state of arguing over things. Lawyers make huge profits on this - so hopefully you won't put any more money in their pockets than is necessary.
The best advice I can give you, regarding the children is that they should come first and foremost. Just because you two can't work it out, please don't allow them to suffer in the mix. That is one of the biggest mistakes people make and the ripple effect runs deep.
Would like advice on divorce?
email me on sullivan_artex@yahoo.co.uk
would like to know how entitlements are worked out for bothparties durin a divorce?Would like advice on divorce?
wouldnt e-mail but reply here instead..
if there kids involved then the wife always get the kids, also the house and maintenance based on the hubby earnings each month. the hubby has find somewhere else to live, loose the house and maybe the car if the wife has no transport to take the kids to school etc. mainly the wife gets it all, say 60-40 or 70-30 and the hubby looses out. but if no kids involved then the house be sold and whats left after the morgage paid off, will be halfed, along with any other assests involved. also the wife can come after the hubby pension and get half that also due to those funds ment to be for both u when retire.
if both parties willing to settle outside court then details can b worked out together, which can result better for the man. otherwise for any man, pray to be left with some the clothes on ur back, tends to be womans world but then again its the women who are greedy selfish things that take everything off the hubby and depends on the nature of the wife. any decent wife would just sell up and take half what left and do decent maintenance orders etc.. talk it out together and see can settle outside court, less hassel and money for court spent.. goodluck..
would like to know how entitlements are worked out for bothparties durin a divorce?Would like advice on divorce?
wouldnt e-mail but reply here instead..
if there kids involved then the wife always get the kids, also the house and maintenance based on the hubby earnings each month. the hubby has find somewhere else to live, loose the house and maybe the car if the wife has no transport to take the kids to school etc. mainly the wife gets it all, say 60-40 or 70-30 and the hubby looses out. but if no kids involved then the house be sold and whats left after the morgage paid off, will be halfed, along with any other assests involved. also the wife can come after the hubby pension and get half that also due to those funds ment to be for both u when retire.
if both parties willing to settle outside court then details can b worked out together, which can result better for the man. otherwise for any man, pray to be left with some the clothes on ur back, tends to be womans world but then again its the women who are greedy selfish things that take everything off the hubby and depends on the nature of the wife. any decent wife would just sell up and take half what left and do decent maintenance orders etc.. talk it out together and see can settle outside court, less hassel and money for court spent.. goodluck..
Wud like to have legal advice on Divorce?
i have been married just 3 months ago .my marriage has not connsumated and my wife is not willing to participate in conjugation.what should i do.Wud like to have legal advice on Divorce?
The question is are you happy with her? If you're not, then divorce her and meet someone else. Remember marriage is about compromise and if she's not willing to compromise then she's not for you.Wud like to have legal advice on Divorce?
Well if you put a little more detail into what you want to know i can help, other than that i cant sorry
What the hell did you marry her for? You had to have had some idea of what she was like, even if just through conversation. Divorce the bit ch and move on obviously she married you for other reasons or she is a complete crackpot. Oh, and test drive wife #2 before you marry her!
you can get a divocre on thse basis but why dont you firstly try to find out the reason she doesnt want to participate
Get an annulment. Fast, easy and inexpensive!
DIVORCE MAN.
OR FIND A NEW WOMAN ON THE SIDE
No consumation means that your marriage is crap!
see a lawyer
Why won't she participate in taking verbs in their infinitive form, and putting them together with subject pronouns? And why would that matter to you?
The question is are you happy with her? If you're not, then divorce her and meet someone else. Remember marriage is about compromise and if she's not willing to compromise then she's not for you.Wud like to have legal advice on Divorce?
Well if you put a little more detail into what you want to know i can help, other than that i cant sorry
What the hell did you marry her for? You had to have had some idea of what she was like, even if just through conversation. Divorce the bit ch and move on obviously she married you for other reasons or she is a complete crackpot. Oh, and test drive wife #2 before you marry her!
you can get a divocre on thse basis but why dont you firstly try to find out the reason she doesnt want to participate
Get an annulment. Fast, easy and inexpensive!
DIVORCE MAN.
OR FIND A NEW WOMAN ON THE SIDE
No consumation means that your marriage is crap!
see a lawyer
Why won't she participate in taking verbs in their infinitive form, and putting them together with subject pronouns? And why would that matter to you?
Anyone who has been through a divorce? need advice on which job to choose?
I have 2 job offers. Im a nurse. one is fulltime, w/ benefits, 8 hour shift days, with every other weekend. my 3 yr old would have to go to daycare fulltime and my 12 yr old would have to get herself on the bus in the AM. But it is stable, although it is in a nursing home and I have no experience in that area. so it would be totally new to me. The other job is an atmosphere that I think I would enjoy. the daycare is right across the street, and he would only have to go 2 days a week. but it is only a part time job. I would keep the part time job i have now as a nurse, so working 2 part time jobs. but no benefits.I wouldn't have to work any weekends or holidays.and the hours work around my kids very well. so do i choose the more consistent job,putting my 3 yo in daycare fulltime for more money and benefits? or choose the 2 part time jobs and have more time for my kids,but less money and no benefits. my kids do have benefits through their father. I won't after divorce is finalAnyone who has been through a divorce? need advice on which job to choose?
Take the part-time job, and spend more time with the kids. It's more convenient, and a lot better for the family unit. The kids are going to need a lot of attention, and you will be better able to provide it with the part time job. The kids will have benefits form their dad, and I know you won't, but I still say ';the part-time job';.Anyone who has been through a divorce? need advice on which job to choose?
What about working in a hospital? Maybe a few long shifts on weekends when you might have an easier time getting a sitter? My friend does this and makes an absolute fortune working a couple days a week and also gets the weekend %26amp; evening differential. She has 3 kids and doesn't miss out on things with them while earning a great salary.
You can always work, your children won't always be young. Get yourself a health ins plan. If you can make it financially, stay off that unpleasant f/t job.
You didn't say if you can afford the part time job, so here goes. I don't think your three year old would have to be in full time day care, just 4 days a week d/t the every other weekend. and if the weekend you work is the one when your ex has your kids, then you won't need childcare on your weekends to work. Also, you don't say what hours your current part time job are and how that works to equal less child care cost. My kids did day care three to four days a week and if it is a good nuturing day care, they will get great social and educational skills. You could also look into an in home care giver who could be there in the am to help the 12 year old get off to school and watch the little one.
I personally think healthcare is very important for you. If you were to become ill, you want to be able to get the best care to get well so that you are able to take care of your kids. If you become ill and can't afford care and put it off, you could be in a situation where you miss more work and put yourself in a bad situation financially.
If I were you I would take the steady, with benefits position.
You take the one that gives you more time with your kids. You can buy health insurance, you can even go to free clinics for your kids. And if your in a divorce, the other spouse can legally be required to take care of the health insurance for you.
You do what ever it takes to make sure your kids spend time with you everyday. Kids don't remember what your job was like...They remember if you were there to help with homework or to play with them everyday.
You do what is right by your kids..and be there everyday.
Good Luck
Ideally I would choose the 2 part time jobs, however realistically you do have to look at the money and benefits for yourself. Would the money be enough to support you or would it be a problem? Remember there are always other avenues to help with that, such as freecycle.org, it seems to be available everywhere, craigslist.com, etc, or local entities (church, food pantry, etc).
Look into how much benefits would cost to cover you. Depending on your age perhaps you can get coverage to cover only major medical or something similar. I know I looked into Golden Rule (I think that is what it was). Very cheap payment but hefty yearly deductible, but maybe that's all you need for now. Luckily you do not have to worry about the children. List the pros and cons of each option and see which of the cons that you can rectify the easiest way. Then compare the two.
Balance your family and healthcare needs for you.
Tempting to go with the full time...but you need to look at what will work best in the future. I am a nurse...don't under estimate the value of insurance... what if you get an infection.
No weekends or holidays w/the parttime job? I suspect that the part time job will pan out to a better job in the future. However, nursing home care is easy to learn. Depends on what direction you want to go with professionally.
Do you save money going to daycare two days a week? Doesn't your ex pay for child care some?
I lean toward the full time w/benefits temporarily....and then wait for something better. Like outpatient surgery. Why? No holidays, get benefits, and even though it is more child care, you will increase you skill set which is what a nurse needs.
Think about the future. Maybe arrange other things w/daycare...there are ways. Look out for yourself...no one else will.
Just a thought...and I have been a nurse for years.
ok, with the fulltime job you would have more financial stability and the biggest thing would be that you would get medical insurance and benefits
if your husband does not provide for your childrens medical insurance then that aspect is crucial, but even for yourself, you would have medical insurance on yourself if you didn't need it for your children, all it takes is one medical emergency to wipe you out if you don't have medical insurance, not to mention the financial stability you would gain from the fulltime job
i understand that the fulltime job would put you into a new position that would be unfamiliar to you, when you first got into nursing was it new to you? pretty much the same thing here, its a new experience but offering more potential, do not sell yourself short
The less time kids are in daycare and the more time you can spend with them is the one I would choose....makes a huge, huge difference.
Go with the two part time jobs . A happy mom with less money is better than a stressed out mom with money .Working in a nursing home can be very depressing .Then keep your eyes open for a better job with benefits ..I am a nurse and have worked in clinics , nursing homes , home health care and two hospitols . I have 3 grown children . Being home with your kids is whats important .
Right now your children are probably suffering more than you. I would take the part time to spend more time with the kiddos. I am a divorced dad and through experience I know that the children are some what insecure. They have lost a family atmosphere. In my opinion the children are the most important to consider at this time. The children involved in any divorce are the ones that suffer the most. Some will say this isn't true, I learned the hard way. I pray that everything goes well for you and the children.Most of the time on this place- Y/A - I am not too serious. At times when small children are involved I try my best to help. God Bless you and the little ones....
I don't know if you will have enough money to live on but if you will with both then take the part time job because your kids will be smarter and more stable with their mother around. what you need to do is look at the money cause if you have enough for your bills and doctor appointments stay with the part time jobs if you don't think you will be able to afford your doctors appointments go with full time. if you are healthy the part time should be great for you.
Well i think that you should take the fulltime job so that maybe you wouldn't have to depend on the ex so much for you other benefits, so that he won't bring up in your face when he starts seeing someone else and you will have more money if you take the fulltime job so you and your children can do alot to things together and not wondering when the childsupport is coming in the mail so take the fulltime job it will all come together to for you good look and god bless you and your family.
I have been divorced 3 years now and have 4 kids. with out getting in to your finances , The kids need to be #1 as Im sure in your first concern I work around My kids they need me to be there and Have sacrificed alot of my personal needs . I also get healthy Kids which is a federal health care program which gives my kids insurance. Ask your self what you would remeber growing up and what memories there will be for your kids/ My kids see there dad 1/2 the month but he isnt there the girl friend watches them I am always here when my kids get off the bus and that is what they crave. What they will remember not what they missed. If you can do it financially then DO IT! You only get the chance once yes children are forgiving but they need us even more as they get to be teens. I work 3 part time jobs/ book keeping 8-11 then construction til 3 or 5 depending on if I have my kids or not/ and then catering when I can/ I just recently got off food stamps. But my kids need me to be here for them and if that means food stamps then OK.
OK I am a mother of 2 teenager's and am recently divorced(will be finalized this month) and I was a daycare giver for 10 years and if I was you I would take the part time jobs and stay with your kids giving yourself and them time to heal from the wounds of the recent break up.I raised a lot of other peoples children and even the day care bill alone will eat up the work benifits.try getting a job at a local hospital where they provide child care for their employees children-I live in Alaska and their are major hospitals here who have their daycare canters in a separate building in back and are open 24-7.but do this after taking a break for both yourself and the kids-Best of wishes!!!
Take the part-time job, and spend more time with the kids. It's more convenient, and a lot better for the family unit. The kids are going to need a lot of attention, and you will be better able to provide it with the part time job. The kids will have benefits form their dad, and I know you won't, but I still say ';the part-time job';.Anyone who has been through a divorce? need advice on which job to choose?
What about working in a hospital? Maybe a few long shifts on weekends when you might have an easier time getting a sitter? My friend does this and makes an absolute fortune working a couple days a week and also gets the weekend %26amp; evening differential. She has 3 kids and doesn't miss out on things with them while earning a great salary.
You can always work, your children won't always be young. Get yourself a health ins plan. If you can make it financially, stay off that unpleasant f/t job.
You didn't say if you can afford the part time job, so here goes. I don't think your three year old would have to be in full time day care, just 4 days a week d/t the every other weekend. and if the weekend you work is the one when your ex has your kids, then you won't need childcare on your weekends to work. Also, you don't say what hours your current part time job are and how that works to equal less child care cost. My kids did day care three to four days a week and if it is a good nuturing day care, they will get great social and educational skills. You could also look into an in home care giver who could be there in the am to help the 12 year old get off to school and watch the little one.
I personally think healthcare is very important for you. If you were to become ill, you want to be able to get the best care to get well so that you are able to take care of your kids. If you become ill and can't afford care and put it off, you could be in a situation where you miss more work and put yourself in a bad situation financially.
If I were you I would take the steady, with benefits position.
You take the one that gives you more time with your kids. You can buy health insurance, you can even go to free clinics for your kids. And if your in a divorce, the other spouse can legally be required to take care of the health insurance for you.
You do what ever it takes to make sure your kids spend time with you everyday. Kids don't remember what your job was like...They remember if you were there to help with homework or to play with them everyday.
You do what is right by your kids..and be there everyday.
Good Luck
Ideally I would choose the 2 part time jobs, however realistically you do have to look at the money and benefits for yourself. Would the money be enough to support you or would it be a problem? Remember there are always other avenues to help with that, such as freecycle.org, it seems to be available everywhere, craigslist.com, etc, or local entities (church, food pantry, etc).
Look into how much benefits would cost to cover you. Depending on your age perhaps you can get coverage to cover only major medical or something similar. I know I looked into Golden Rule (I think that is what it was). Very cheap payment but hefty yearly deductible, but maybe that's all you need for now. Luckily you do not have to worry about the children. List the pros and cons of each option and see which of the cons that you can rectify the easiest way. Then compare the two.
Balance your family and healthcare needs for you.
Tempting to go with the full time...but you need to look at what will work best in the future. I am a nurse...don't under estimate the value of insurance... what if you get an infection.
No weekends or holidays w/the parttime job? I suspect that the part time job will pan out to a better job in the future. However, nursing home care is easy to learn. Depends on what direction you want to go with professionally.
Do you save money going to daycare two days a week? Doesn't your ex pay for child care some?
I lean toward the full time w/benefits temporarily....and then wait for something better. Like outpatient surgery. Why? No holidays, get benefits, and even though it is more child care, you will increase you skill set which is what a nurse needs.
Think about the future. Maybe arrange other things w/daycare...there are ways. Look out for yourself...no one else will.
Just a thought...and I have been a nurse for years.
ok, with the fulltime job you would have more financial stability and the biggest thing would be that you would get medical insurance and benefits
if your husband does not provide for your childrens medical insurance then that aspect is crucial, but even for yourself, you would have medical insurance on yourself if you didn't need it for your children, all it takes is one medical emergency to wipe you out if you don't have medical insurance, not to mention the financial stability you would gain from the fulltime job
i understand that the fulltime job would put you into a new position that would be unfamiliar to you, when you first got into nursing was it new to you? pretty much the same thing here, its a new experience but offering more potential, do not sell yourself short
The less time kids are in daycare and the more time you can spend with them is the one I would choose....makes a huge, huge difference.
Go with the two part time jobs . A happy mom with less money is better than a stressed out mom with money .Working in a nursing home can be very depressing .Then keep your eyes open for a better job with benefits ..I am a nurse and have worked in clinics , nursing homes , home health care and two hospitols . I have 3 grown children . Being home with your kids is whats important .
Right now your children are probably suffering more than you. I would take the part time to spend more time with the kiddos. I am a divorced dad and through experience I know that the children are some what insecure. They have lost a family atmosphere. In my opinion the children are the most important to consider at this time. The children involved in any divorce are the ones that suffer the most. Some will say this isn't true, I learned the hard way. I pray that everything goes well for you and the children.Most of the time on this place- Y/A - I am not too serious. At times when small children are involved I try my best to help. God Bless you and the little ones....
I don't know if you will have enough money to live on but if you will with both then take the part time job because your kids will be smarter and more stable with their mother around. what you need to do is look at the money cause if you have enough for your bills and doctor appointments stay with the part time jobs if you don't think you will be able to afford your doctors appointments go with full time. if you are healthy the part time should be great for you.
Well i think that you should take the fulltime job so that maybe you wouldn't have to depend on the ex so much for you other benefits, so that he won't bring up in your face when he starts seeing someone else and you will have more money if you take the fulltime job so you and your children can do alot to things together and not wondering when the childsupport is coming in the mail so take the fulltime job it will all come together to for you good look and god bless you and your family.
I have been divorced 3 years now and have 4 kids. with out getting in to your finances , The kids need to be #1 as Im sure in your first concern I work around My kids they need me to be there and Have sacrificed alot of my personal needs . I also get healthy Kids which is a federal health care program which gives my kids insurance. Ask your self what you would remeber growing up and what memories there will be for your kids/ My kids see there dad 1/2 the month but he isnt there the girl friend watches them I am always here when my kids get off the bus and that is what they crave. What they will remember not what they missed. If you can do it financially then DO IT! You only get the chance once yes children are forgiving but they need us even more as they get to be teens. I work 3 part time jobs/ book keeping 8-11 then construction til 3 or 5 depending on if I have my kids or not/ and then catering when I can/ I just recently got off food stamps. But my kids need me to be here for them and if that means food stamps then OK.
OK I am a mother of 2 teenager's and am recently divorced(will be finalized this month) and I was a daycare giver for 10 years and if I was you I would take the part time jobs and stay with your kids giving yourself and them time to heal from the wounds of the recent break up.I raised a lot of other peoples children and even the day care bill alone will eat up the work benifits.try getting a job at a local hospital where they provide child care for their employees children-I live in Alaska and their are major hospitals here who have their daycare canters in a separate building in back and are open 24-7.but do this after taking a break for both yourself and the kids-Best of wishes!!!
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