Thursday, December 31, 2009

Anyone who has been through a divorce? need advice on which job to choose?

I have 2 job offers. Im a nurse. one is fulltime, w/ benefits, 8 hour shift days, with every other weekend. my 3 yr old would have to go to daycare fulltime and my 12 yr old would have to get herself on the bus in the AM. But it is stable, although it is in a nursing home and I have no experience in that area. so it would be totally new to me. The other job is an atmosphere that I think I would enjoy. the daycare is right across the street, and he would only have to go 2 days a week. but it is only a part time job. I would keep the part time job i have now as a nurse, so working 2 part time jobs. but no benefits.I wouldn't have to work any weekends or holidays.and the hours work around my kids very well. so do i choose the more consistent job,putting my 3 yo in daycare fulltime for more money and benefits? or choose the 2 part time jobs and have more time for my kids,but less money and no benefits. my kids do have benefits through their father. I won't after divorce is finalAnyone who has been through a divorce? need advice on which job to choose?
Take the part-time job, and spend more time with the kids. It's more convenient, and a lot better for the family unit. The kids are going to need a lot of attention, and you will be better able to provide it with the part time job. The kids will have benefits form their dad, and I know you won't, but I still say ';the part-time job';.Anyone who has been through a divorce? need advice on which job to choose?
What about working in a hospital? Maybe a few long shifts on weekends when you might have an easier time getting a sitter? My friend does this and makes an absolute fortune working a couple days a week and also gets the weekend %26amp; evening differential. She has 3 kids and doesn't miss out on things with them while earning a great salary.
You can always work, your children won't always be young. Get yourself a health ins plan. If you can make it financially, stay off that unpleasant f/t job.
You didn't say if you can afford the part time job, so here goes. I don't think your three year old would have to be in full time day care, just 4 days a week d/t the every other weekend. and if the weekend you work is the one when your ex has your kids, then you won't need childcare on your weekends to work. Also, you don't say what hours your current part time job are and how that works to equal less child care cost. My kids did day care three to four days a week and if it is a good nuturing day care, they will get great social and educational skills. You could also look into an in home care giver who could be there in the am to help the 12 year old get off to school and watch the little one.





I personally think healthcare is very important for you. If you were to become ill, you want to be able to get the best care to get well so that you are able to take care of your kids. If you become ill and can't afford care and put it off, you could be in a situation where you miss more work and put yourself in a bad situation financially.





If I were you I would take the steady, with benefits position.
You take the one that gives you more time with your kids. You can buy health insurance, you can even go to free clinics for your kids. And if your in a divorce, the other spouse can legally be required to take care of the health insurance for you.





You do what ever it takes to make sure your kids spend time with you everyday. Kids don't remember what your job was like...They remember if you were there to help with homework or to play with them everyday.





You do what is right by your kids..and be there everyday.





Good Luck
Ideally I would choose the 2 part time jobs, however realistically you do have to look at the money and benefits for yourself. Would the money be enough to support you or would it be a problem? Remember there are always other avenues to help with that, such as freecycle.org, it seems to be available everywhere, craigslist.com, etc, or local entities (church, food pantry, etc).


Look into how much benefits would cost to cover you. Depending on your age perhaps you can get coverage to cover only major medical or something similar. I know I looked into Golden Rule (I think that is what it was). Very cheap payment but hefty yearly deductible, but maybe that's all you need for now. Luckily you do not have to worry about the children. List the pros and cons of each option and see which of the cons that you can rectify the easiest way. Then compare the two.
Balance your family and healthcare needs for you.





Tempting to go with the full time...but you need to look at what will work best in the future. I am a nurse...don't under estimate the value of insurance... what if you get an infection.





No weekends or holidays w/the parttime job? I suspect that the part time job will pan out to a better job in the future. However, nursing home care is easy to learn. Depends on what direction you want to go with professionally.





Do you save money going to daycare two days a week? Doesn't your ex pay for child care some?





I lean toward the full time w/benefits temporarily....and then wait for something better. Like outpatient surgery. Why? No holidays, get benefits, and even though it is more child care, you will increase you skill set which is what a nurse needs.





Think about the future. Maybe arrange other things w/daycare...there are ways. Look out for yourself...no one else will.





Just a thought...and I have been a nurse for years.
ok, with the fulltime job you would have more financial stability and the biggest thing would be that you would get medical insurance and benefits





if your husband does not provide for your childrens medical insurance then that aspect is crucial, but even for yourself, you would have medical insurance on yourself if you didn't need it for your children, all it takes is one medical emergency to wipe you out if you don't have medical insurance, not to mention the financial stability you would gain from the fulltime job





i understand that the fulltime job would put you into a new position that would be unfamiliar to you, when you first got into nursing was it new to you? pretty much the same thing here, its a new experience but offering more potential, do not sell yourself short
The less time kids are in daycare and the more time you can spend with them is the one I would choose....makes a huge, huge difference.
Go with the two part time jobs . A happy mom with less money is better than a stressed out mom with money .Working in a nursing home can be very depressing .Then keep your eyes open for a better job with benefits ..I am a nurse and have worked in clinics , nursing homes , home health care and two hospitols . I have 3 grown children . Being home with your kids is whats important .
Right now your children are probably suffering more than you. I would take the part time to spend more time with the kiddos. I am a divorced dad and through experience I know that the children are some what insecure. They have lost a family atmosphere. In my opinion the children are the most important to consider at this time. The children involved in any divorce are the ones that suffer the most. Some will say this isn't true, I learned the hard way. I pray that everything goes well for you and the children.Most of the time on this place- Y/A - I am not too serious. At times when small children are involved I try my best to help. God Bless you and the little ones....
I don't know if you will have enough money to live on but if you will with both then take the part time job because your kids will be smarter and more stable with their mother around. what you need to do is look at the money cause if you have enough for your bills and doctor appointments stay with the part time jobs if you don't think you will be able to afford your doctors appointments go with full time. if you are healthy the part time should be great for you.
Well i think that you should take the fulltime job so that maybe you wouldn't have to depend on the ex so much for you other benefits, so that he won't bring up in your face when he starts seeing someone else and you will have more money if you take the fulltime job so you and your children can do alot to things together and not wondering when the childsupport is coming in the mail so take the fulltime job it will all come together to for you good look and god bless you and your family.
I have been divorced 3 years now and have 4 kids. with out getting in to your finances , The kids need to be #1 as Im sure in your first concern I work around My kids they need me to be there and Have sacrificed alot of my personal needs . I also get healthy Kids which is a federal health care program which gives my kids insurance. Ask your self what you would remeber growing up and what memories there will be for your kids/ My kids see there dad 1/2 the month but he isnt there the girl friend watches them I am always here when my kids get off the bus and that is what they crave. What they will remember not what they missed. If you can do it financially then DO IT! You only get the chance once yes children are forgiving but they need us even more as they get to be teens. I work 3 part time jobs/ book keeping 8-11 then construction til 3 or 5 depending on if I have my kids or not/ and then catering when I can/ I just recently got off food stamps. But my kids need me to be here for them and if that means food stamps then OK.
OK I am a mother of 2 teenager's and am recently divorced(will be finalized this month) and I was a daycare giver for 10 years and if I was you I would take the part time jobs and stay with your kids giving yourself and them time to heal from the wounds of the recent break up.I raised a lot of other peoples children and even the day care bill alone will eat up the work benifits.try getting a job at a local hospital where they provide child care for their employees children-I live in Alaska and their are major hospitals here who have their daycare canters in a separate building in back and are open 24-7.but do this after taking a break for both yourself and the kids-Best of wishes!!!

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