Of course everyone is going to tell you to try to keep busy, %26amp; IF you can, that's the BEST thing to do to keep your mind occupied. Try to keep in close touch w/your friends. They are the best ones who w/be there for you for the support you'll need. KNOW this is NOT the end, it's the beginning of a new life for you. KNOW that you CAN find happiness in the future. Evidently, this was just not the rite person for you, but also know there IS a rite person for you, you just have not met her yet. Try to go places where you can meet new people because you WILL find a special someone who is best suited just for you. Try to let go of the past the best you can. I KNOW it's hard, I've been there too. But you do find that life does go on, %26amp; in time you w/get acclimated to your new lifestyle. Learn from your mistakes, %26amp; it all won't be in vain. You now know what to do, what not to do. Time does heal all hurts %26amp; just keep thinking positive that you w/have a better brighter life ahead of you. Just keep going forward %26amp; KNOW in time you WILL have a better brighter tomorrow...the best to you...:)Separated and headed for divorce....any advice?
get a lawyer and file first. sell everything you own on paper at least to someone you trust. pull out all your assests and hide them with someone you trust. if you live in an area that is a high rent area move to an area where there are alamony caps and child support caps that are reasonable as support is based on your income levels and the counties caps on amounts just protect yourself man. especially if she says she dont want a messy divorce as thats when you drop your guard and she plows you with half of what you own
What I hear you say is that your wife asked you to leave, did she ask you for a divorce? She is probably asking you to leave because she has asked you to change and you have not. If she cannot live with how you are and you cannot change how you are and counseling has not helped then it's time to call the attorney and find a way to make divorce work since you weren't able to make your marriage work.
First off i really FEEL for you because that's...a hard thing on your mental health or at least it can be so I hope that you're handling it well. Next step is just to realize that hey, this world isn't Disney, you're an adult and you know what you have to do. This isn't going well, it's finally over, you separated before and things aren't any better. You claim you're gone and now long gone and are ';trying'; to live alone. Hopefully that try will succeed, but no one ever said you HAD to do it alone%26gt; I mean don't you have family, friends, buddies, of both genders? I mean...this is why in times like these you REALLY should rely on the advice and support/comfort of other friends.
Forget about our current cruel and fake society that claims we all have to do it all on our own. EVERYONE needs some support at one point in their life, but if you can and are determined to do it alone, I think you should just try to break up as amicably as possible but make it definitive enough so that you know that it's FINALLY over, and then ..go on your own ways, you don't want to turn it into a some shouting match where legal matters can come about.
Good luck in this case!
Sounds like you've no kids involved, makes everything easier I guess.
Best thing you can do is socialize, maybe go to church more often and
get involved with any little work groups they have. Elsewhere, join any hobby clubs that interest you. Stay away from bars. I should alert you,
stay away from frozen dinners like Stouffer's, it is heart attack food, loaded with sodium to the max.. Maybe you have a life insurance policy you can now cash in by terminating it. I misread thinking you're already divorced. Get a very good lawyer, gather what household records you think you may need
for the divorce proceedings to defend yourself.
find a way to believe in yourself and keep positive. live your life for who you are and what you believe in. keep an eye out for changes and laughter along the way!
If you can stay friends, great, especially if there are children involved. If you can't stay friends, maybe just stay civil. You'll feel better about yourself without anger and hate eating you for something you can't control.
Hey, Im sorry to hear of your situation, but Im in the same thing kinda. Well me and my husband has been separated for a year now. We have been back and forth with this same damn drama the whole time.. Yet he tells me that he loves me and can't live without me, but he continues to see the other woman... Ya, crazy I know. It was hard for me to accept it for wat it really was and go on with my life.. At first its gonna be EXTREMELY hard, but please believe me that thru all pain and hurt, then comes JOY.. After she sees that u are going on and living your life. I PROMISE shes gonna come treading back, and then its gonna be to late.. Take it from me, im going thru it now.. My husband never thought that I could make it without him, and guess wat??? IM DOING BETTER THAN HE COULD EVER DO!!!!! G/L
First thing to do, it mentally see exactly where you are. Emotionally, financially, work-wise...everything. This will help tell you where you can go.
Next realize that it is over. Keeping it alive in your mind or heart will only suck the life out of you and do you no good.
Next, get on with your life. Enjoy and live well.
I'm going through it too. You should find a way to not let your thoughts send you to Deep into depression. She might have been the best person ever but she will try to mess with your head. Keep focused on the present, have a few nice thoughts of the future. And don't dwell to long on the past , only en ought to get your thoughts gathered up to not repeat the same mistakes. There are books that describe this better than I can . Good luck.
sorry to hear that. I'm of the opinion that if it wasn't right, it never will be if you try again. I think you should use the time for yourself, like join a gym, that's good for you mentally as well as physically, do something you've been wanting to do, like take a class or something. And watch a lot of comedy. Try connecting with old guy friends from high school on Facebook. Good luck!
I think you should get out there and find your perfect match,something that you both like. It won't help to stay there. So,get out there and find the one for you.
It all depends on where you live and how much you want to invest in lawyers fees.
Party like its 1999.
A Positive Divorce Recovery Book for Your Website Members
ReplyDeleteHi,
I know that you may be using your own materials or those of others’, but I was hoping you might also have some interest in my book too as another source of help. I can offer you DOUBLE the book discounts I have below as a trial for you and your members.
I am a local author in Canton/Akron, Ohio and have just published, last October 2008, a book on divorce recovery called "Yes, There Is an Upside of Divorce, It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life!" You can search "upside of divorce" on Amazon and read the great reviews I have there. One of my top 5-Star ratings is from Tracy, who is the owner of a national web support group called Woman’s Divorce (com) and has used parts of my chapters for her members going through divorce.
I have sold over ninety copies locally and received the same great feedback, including some to the Church of New Hope in Stow, Ohio for their divorce support group.
I have also sold three copies to our Stark County Libraries for circulation here in Canton.
I am hoping you may want to buy some copies too to provide some other good help and support to your divorced members. And perhaps they may want to buy their own copy as well.
My book has a more positive approach to divorce recovery and also goes further about how to make a happier and more enjoyable life after divorce.
For just $12 or so, my book could be another reference book or a gift of help from you to your members suffering through their divorce or separation.
Book Discounts are available on my own website, Self-Help-Products-and-Services (com) where you can save $2 to $5 off Amazon’s costs per book.
I'm hoping you might try a couple books and see what your members say about it. I’m sure most, if not all of them, will find some good help in my book.
My ISBN is 978-1-4196-9304-5. I also have a workbook version that could be used for support groups and have other information and a photo of my book if you are interested.
If there are other people you think I should contact or those who may want to contact me, please let me know.
.
Thanks for your consideration here.
Brian Daniel
www.Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com
Email: james@self-help-products-and-services.com