Need some advice...Divorce or stay?

I am miserable in my marriage. I feel like I am a built in babysitter, maid and play toy. My husband has custody of his 9 yr old daughter and I do everything with her. He rarely helps with her homework, housework, etc. He makes me feel guilty if I want to spend time with my family, they live 2 hours away and his is next door. Now I am having some health problems and he doesn't seem one bit concerned. I still have my own home that I had before we met and can go back there, what would some of you do in the situtation? I just DO NOT feel like I am appreciated any. I am more concerned about his daughter than him, if we divorce, what will happen to her??Who will be there for her??Need some advice...Divorce or stay?
Honest? its not your problem. You can always be there for the kid if she wants you to be but you have to look after you. its not your child, you may love it and want to be there but at the same time how can you really be there for her if you are in hell? Kids are not dumb, they will pick up on that. I know its a tough call but if you are that bad a shape and not happy, time to move on babe!Need some advice...Divorce or stay?
i think that u shld talk to him ( dun tell me u cannot talk to him) I feel that he shld also let you know how he feel, maybe after talking to him, u will realise u misunderstand him, for maybe he thinks that you like doing what you are doing. he do not know that you also need care and concern and love....


if things really is bad, then i think u shld consult a laywer and see if u can get the custody of his daughter since the daughter likes u better. when there is a will, there will be a way, if you dun have money to ask consultation from a lawyer, ask ard your frens who know about this kind of domestic matters. i believed in your country there are also association that are dealing with you and can help you with it.
You need to take care of *you* first.
I can imagine how you must feel but you have to think about what you are saying. You are not happy, if you aren't happy then how can the children possibly be happy. Do you want them growing up thinking it's ok to live like that? If you love your husband, try counseling, if not then you must go. Ask for a trial separation and see what happens.
You are being treated like crap because you allow it to go on. This is ridiculous, especially in your situation, i.e. having a place you could go. My advice to you is to move into your own home immediately. When the moron you married realizes that he cannot get on without you (this should take about five minutes, considering how worthless he is), do not get back with him unless he agrees to attend counselling with you.
If you are already speaking with him about it and he is appearing not to care it may be because he does not understand. Try thinking of a different way to explain it or show it to him. For example, my husband has a terrible habit of throwing toothpicks on the floor. I hate it and have repeatedly asked him not to do that. Finally I just pick them up and stuck them in the keyboard of his computer. He put his hands down to type and ow! It was the showing that helped. I know toothpicks and children are not the same but just using an example. Getting divorced is not the answer. But if you need some space you can certainly get some.
i think you would be better off leaving - because it seems to me if it is like this now, how bad will it be in another 10 or 20 years?








But it might be more mature to talk this over with some kind of counselor or life planner or life coach before taking major actions.
leave his sorry *** and come be my live in slave. I could always use one of those.
stop worrying about everyone else, and start takeing care of yourself, once you have displayed that, what ever is going to happen shall happen, stick to your guns.
The only reason two people should get divorced is because one comitted adultry. You vowed for better or worse. You can still leave him and go to your house and hell bring the daughter with you.
well... i'm not married yet but I don't know if my advice will be suitable for you, but from the situation you described, have you ever communicate with your husband? Because many marriages failed because of miscommunication. If he can't compromise even after you communicate, leaving him would be best... take your daughter with you.
First you seem to be mother for his child not his own wife. perhaps this cold feelings of his has led his ex to leave for another man. But I think your problem is not good enough for divorce. Perhaps he does not know how to treat a wife and step by step you have to teach him. He has to understand that you are only responsible for your own life and you own children's life ( if any ). If you take care of her, it is because of your kindness and not a part of your responsibility. Perhaps you can have a babysitter to look after her to visit friends and relatives. However, men usually expect from women whatever women do as a habit. I mean he expects you to take care of his child because you did it from the first day so he thinks of it as something normal and if you do not do it one day , it seems abnormal to him.
U need to talk to him, not yahoo ppl for starters. Also u could still have a relationship with his daughter with or without him. Does he know u feel that way? If so, corrective action needs taken and that would fall squarly on your shoulders. Also there is nothing wrong with caring for his daughter more than him. Maybe ur more compassionate and caring than him which is normal between males and females. I'm not saying he shouldn't care for his daughter, but she needs someone and it looks to be u. Where is here real mother? Finally I don't think u should ever stay married due to children. They will grow up and see where the problems were and they can come to there own conclusions.