Divorce advice....?

Quick story:





I am 34 years old married for 4 years ... together 6.


Recently left home. I have been living in my own place for about 6 weeks... started dating great girl recently...





Left my wife (she wanted to stay together)...


We are divorcing very amicably...





Reasons I left:


Sexless marriage... Lived 2 seperate lives... Nice girl but did we did not do anything except watch football together. She wants kids and I refuse to bring kids into a unhappy marriage.





I ran into her over the weekend, she is dating now as well and I am happy for her.... BUT how do I get over the ';OH MY GOD!!! Did I make the wrong decision???? panic attack?';





I know I did the right thing for both of us but having a rough day!!Divorce advice....?
Why cant you work out your problems? You know what the problem is, you both should make the effort to overcome it.Divorce advice....?
I know the feeling. I left my husband 2 years ago and we still talk about getting back together. In my case I guess we just lacked that commitment to make things work despite of the problems. We used to have a GREAT sexual life but I was jealous of his overprotection with his kids and not caring for me at all...


I miss our sexual life, but... if things were hard, it is like they will tend to be hard again, if you try again... If you can try again without putting too much effort or HUGE hopes on it... then maybe you could try. You can meet great girls anytime if it does not work. But only if you can do that without many emotional demands cause there will be chances it wont work again.
Rough day? Take five, close your eyes and imaging trying to be a father to a child from a distance. Imagine pretending to care when shes in labor and you aren't into that. Imagine your ego isn't involved with ';shes got someone and shes not mourning ';us';. Then call up your new girlfriend and see if she wants to go to a football game. This will pass.
If your having a rough day and your thinking whether you did the right thing or not. Go do something to get your mind off of things, take a walk, go get some lunch with a friend. Anything to take your mind off of things. You did the right thing and Thank GOD you didnt bring any kids into the mix. Have a great day
if you know that you made the right choose then be happy and you are dating a nice girl now. just go with it but don't move to fast that is where problems come in. you have been married and it is real different being on your one after that. don't fall into a trap of not wanting to be alone so you take anyone. take it slow and make sure that you get what you want out of a relationship. good luck
When I've run into my ex husband, I have never once had a ';Oh my god did I make the wrong decision'; attack. When I see him I just say ';Thank God I divorced him!'; I'm overcome with an enormous sense of relief.





I think that, if you're having those feelings, you might want to sit down and really think about it again. You must still be seeing something in her which you still like or love, and might miss.





If there aren't too many holes in your fence, maybe the two of you could go out to dinner or a movie or something - start dating again and see if there's anything left.
Only one thing that will cure it.....time.
It sounds like you still love her; did you not know that marriage is work!!


Does she miss you??? Maybe you could get counseling and get sex back into your marriage and stop the seperate lives!!


Maybe it's just a bit of jealousy..seeing her happy with another man!!


If there is any way you can make your marriage work, do it!!!
take a deep breath......relax....there are bound to be days like this and it to shall pass.........it may take some getting used to, but if you say you did the right thing by the divorce then stand by that and just let things take their course......you will have good days and bad days........but remember it could be worse.....just watch any morning 'judge' show or talk show.....that makes me feel better about who I am.......especially Jerry Springer.......that is ALWAYS good for a laugh...... :)
first of all it's men like you that turn women into lesbo's.you don't just walk out of marriage 4 yrs later for stupid things that you could have worked out.put yourself in her shoes(if the shoe fits) for a while.if she left you and you wanted to work it out,you'll be crushed because she left.the first thing you need to do is put your head on your shoulder's and think about you mistakes.when you comment yourself to some women take that very serious.when you get married you settle down(meaning)she wants kids,whats wrong with that? at least she was woman enough to stay with you without cheating on you with a better man who could give her whats she wants,so you have made a BIG mistake.
If you know in your heart that you did the right thing, then all you need to do is step back, take a deep breath, and relax. That stupid corny saying about ';time heals all wounds'; is 100% true. 6 weeks really isn't a long time at all, and if you've been with someone for 6 years, it's really hard to start living without them, regardless of whether or not you two led seperate lives while you lived together. However, if you're not really sure, those OH MY GOD moments might just be something worth paying attention to. Did you guys TRY to fix things, or was it just a ';this sucks I'm gone'; kind of thing. Maybe you need some solo-counseling to start getting your head back in the game. Whatever the result, I wish you the best of luck!
Maybe you can't get over it because neither of you worked hard enough to save the marriage. Maybe you both gave up too easily. Marriage is work, alot of work. When you stop working on it, then it dissolves easily. Sounds like that's what has happened here. One thing, I was happy to hear that you refused to bring kids into a unhappy marriage. You get a big plus for that. Most people would have had the kids, then in the end the kis suffer. I wish you good luck.
That is very normal feeling, because our hindsight seen to say we always do it wrong, when it comes to judgment calls. Just hang in there or you can start a friendship again with her and slowly move towards getting more truthful answers to those major questions that neither of you were wanting to answer truthfully.
Hey, you can watch football with your friends, and/or find another woman that likes it, so you can have sex too. It's always difficult seeing someone you loved in love with someone else, because we never stop loving them for the reasons we fell in love with them. It's just that all the other negative reasons we later learned, made the pleasure of the relationship not worth the pain. And when we miss someone, we tend to remember more of the good times, than we do all the bad times, because we are missing them at that moment.
Relax.....you made your bed now you have to lay in it. You know you did the right thing so be happy for her and stop thinking about yourself.