Husband threatening divorce. Advice?

My husband has been very irresponsible with money lately, spending almost $400 on music related items within days. The credit card is nearly maxed, so I took it and put it away until he can pay it off. He gets paid on Thursday so I planned to give it back Thursday morning when I know he can pay it off.





Normally, something like this wouldn't concern me so much, but his dad is arriving on Friday and we have to pay $225 for a mattress for him to sleep on, and I'm due in 2 1/2 weeks with our second child, so you can see where my concern about his spending is coming from.





I feel very sad to say that I do not trust my own husband not to spend money or to keep his word. I really wish I could say that, but I can't. Two days ago he waltzed into the bedroom at 10pm and announced he had spent $200 (before taxes, shipping and exchange rates) on vinyl records, just days after he spent $150 on two other vinyl records. He said it was okay because he wouldn't be spending anymore money on music related things until after Christmas. I knew I couldn't trust him, and I was right, because he turned around and bought some music tonight.





Well, he discovered his credit card was missing. I told him I have it, it is in our bedroom and he can have it back on Thursday morning when he can pay it off. It is $100 away from maxed out. This apparently isn't good enough for him, as he began sulking, throwing a fit, started a huge fight and is now threatening divorce, claiming he'll be in contact with lawyers in the morning if I don't give the credit card back tonight.





He says he can no longer trust me. He has also called me a neglectful mother (we have a 20 month old daughter), an untrustworthy wife, and now I'm apparently a thief and I'm cheating on him (which I am not, never have and never would).





I love him, and I took his card to protect our family and make sure that we have that money available for emergencies only, but now he wants to leave me and get a divorce. He's already walked out on us twice since yesterday.





I don't know what to do. Any advice?Husband threatening divorce. Advice?
I don't see why women are so controllingHusband threatening divorce. Advice?
He has other stuff going on that he isnt tell you!
Get a lawyer; call his bluff.
Are you sure he isnt bipolar?
You're married to a child.





Stand your ground!





If you don't, the money situation will, I guarantee you, erode your relationship away. He can either grow up now or grow up alone.





And before you take my advice, recognize that your situation has just pushed one of my buttons!! I think he should have his a$s kicked for such behavior. If he doesn't change, your family will be living from paycheck-to-paycheck for the rest of your lives. And that's no way to live.
Give him his credit card, and tell him to leave. He is clearly irresponsiblee and doesn't care about you, or your family. He is threating to call lawayers on his own wife, and walked out on you? I can't see why you should put this stress on you and your family, consdering you are planning your 2nd child.





Take my adivice and leave him, it will only get worse.
Just give him time. He'll get over it. I suspect if he files for a divorce over something this minor, you have a man who has missed the mark, anyway. And btw, there is a such thing as ';financial infidelity';.
Sounds like he is making noises (leaving, calling you names etc) to just get the credit card back. Why not ask him why is it he can not wait a few days?





In any event, this is not a good thing happening for you all. Yes I do suggest counseling for you both and if he wont go, then you should go.





Ask dad if he can sleep on the couch as money is tight. You need to save your money for 2 reasons, the baby and because your husband spends too much.





Good luck, I care.





Happy Thanksgiving everyone
He's stressed by the thought of additional responsibility which is impending.... making him behave like a spoilt %26amp; irresponsible child...honestly men, what can you do?.... my sister's husband did this just before their second child was born as well..........





You don't need it sweetheart, especially right now....





However when he sees his newborn child I hope he wakes up to himself....





You sound very cool %26amp; I'm sure you can handle this, stick to your principles, I don't normally take sides but you're right hon..... don't give in!!!
You sound like a very level headed individual and caring about the well being of your family. Why isn't he meeting you half way. His addiction to music should be controlled on his own, but obviously ....he can't.





Thank you for stepping in and you are absolutely right.





HOWEVER, I think him threating to divorce you is a CHILDISH act on his part. Where is his maturity and level headness.





With a 20 month old child AND another one on the way....why isn't he being a man...a father and a HUSBAND ?





If he's threating to divorce you...tell him ';Go for it. You'll be paying for all the divorce proceeding.';





However..this is an issue you two need to talk about and throwing 'I want a divoce'; is VERY immature of him. If he seeks the easy way out..the he isn't thinking far enough.
Hi! Don't take this the wrong way -I really don't mean to offend- but it sounds to me like your hubby might have a problem. Has he ever acted weirdly before? Could there be a possibility that he is either bipolar or compulsive? I've seen you added you were sure he was not bipolar, but how can you be sure? His spendings sound a little bit out of control and that is a symptom. It wouldn't make him a bad man, or a nutcase, you know...


Anyhow, if he has no mental problem he should come to the conclusion by himself that his family matters most. Give him some time and the space he needs.


Good luck



The end result of spreading your legs for a boy. You have what you deserve, nothing more or less.