Marriage problem, divorce?!, need advice.

I am in a tough situation. Historically, I have been extremely attentive to my wife and her family needs. I was there for her and for her family members' sickness and death, also when times are tough. However, my wife does not reciprocate and complain constantly that I do not do enough. This past year, with job and a new born, I have been super busy and the kicker is that her mother mover moved close to our house. She expects me to ';baby-sit'; her mother as well. Meanwhile, I got two senior parents and my mother is actually here 24/7 helping while her mother is out and a about and complain about we don't do enough for her (go figure). She is very difficult and my wife is completely under her spell. So essentially, after 10 years, we have had lots of imbalance and on top of that, my wife does not like to ever apologize and address any of concerns that are important to our family. Yes, you can call her neglectful. I was in love and could not see it clearly, but now I have a child with her, I am afraid that my child will see an unhappy marriage is the norm (and I know it is not) and the gross imbalance in a relationship is okay (again, it should not be). At this point, my wife lies to me all the time even about smallest things and refuses to plan anything together in constructive ways to have happy weekends with my daughter. We have been having fights almost every weekend because she complains about how I don't treat her mother properly; meanwhile she wants me to be enslaved to her mother. We just had a beautiful baby and I really want to enjoy this time with my wife and all of our relatives. I do not want to fight about her mother and I honestly think her mother is an attention hog and needs spotlight on her all the time, otherwise you are dead in her eyes. My wife is very cling to her mother and will kill somebody to make sure her mother's whiny concerns are met (including her own husband). So this leads to one conclusion, we are heading to the end. I want advice from people who have had this problem and from people who may provide a fresh perspective. I know this is not the best place to figure our solution for life changing decision, but I want to get all advices and think it through clearly before pressing the button. I am pretty sure that there is going to be very little chance we are going to be able to work this through. Again, there is no way I can be with someone who doesn't apologize, never satisfied, never grateful for what others has done for her. I am just so concerned about my child and I really want her to grow up happy. At this point, my child is my primary concern. I have tried very hard to work it out with my wife but have received flat out slamming the door on my face type of response from her. Plus she really does not involve herself in anyway with my life at home, at work or with people who I know. Advice, please, thank you in advance.Marriage problem, divorce?!, need advice.
It sounds to me as if you have already answered your own question. No one can tell you what to do, you have to figure that out for yourself. That being said, you have a long list of grievances, none of which it sounds have been addressed. This should tell you something about your partner. A worthy partner would have your best interests at heart, but with a marriage, it is a two way street and compromise is always important. The needs of both partners should be met or at least acknowledged.Marriage problem, divorce?!, need advice.
As hard as it is, now that you see a problem you need to address it and couples and familycounseling are probably the best way to go. Good luck!
I understand..... I'm assuming that you have already brought this to her attention so i suggest counseling through your church because you took those vow till death do you part! GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS
The kid is the most important person in this picture.





Both of your mothers should not be taking up so much time in your lives that it interfers with your family life. Stop spending so much time with your mom's and tell them both to stay away.
Just from hearing your side of things, it seems that your wife is a very spoiled and selfish person. I have a family member who is exactly the same. Everything must always revolve around her and what she wants. If things don't go her way, she throws a tantrum. It is a very difficult situation to be in. If your wife refuses to go to counseling or do anything to try and make your marriage better, your only option is to file for divorce. You need to talk to a lawyer first and see what your rights are as far as child custody. If you simply walk out, you could be seen as abandoning the child and your wife may try to keep her from you just to spite you for leaving. Definitely get your ducks in a row as far as your daughter's welfare is concerned before you do or say anything to your wife about a divorce.
I had a very similar problem to yours only it was my mom she was always trying to run my home and run my family the way she saw fit and a lot of times it wasn't even in a good way this went on for years it was causing problems with my kids behavior in school and at home affecting the school work as well. It caused a problem for me and my husband mainly because he was unhappy but because of me he would just go along. So finally I had to put my foot down I couldn't stand to watch him put up with the BS any longer I had to sever ties it was the only way. Nothing was going to change I tried for years and it came down to a point I felt I had to choose between my husband and family and my parents and siblings and I choose my husband because when you get married that is your true family now. Your wife needs to learn that. Marriage is truly having to forsake all others sometimes.
Extended family can really cause problems in a marriage if you let them, I know because I've been there. It sounds like your wife may feel like she is obligated to take care of and take up for her mom/family. The more you push the more she will be on the defense. I think you need to sit down with your wife, just the two of you and tell her how you feel and the impact it has. You also should go to marriage counseling and do everything you can to rebuild your relationship especially for your child. It is wrong to for her to put her family above your marriage but maybe with hard work and compromise you guys can come to an agreement that works for everyone. I've been through a divorce and trust me, it is every bit as hard on the children and everyone else. That should be your last resort.





Take care and good luck!
Things sound pretty bad!? Well for starters the only thing you really can do is talk about things. Explain to her that you need to talk to her and she needs to listen to your feelings and she cant say a word while you are saying what you have to say. Explain that you will listen to her feelings also but she needs to stay calm or you will walk away. Let her know how she has been acting, let her know that you can never get a word in, ask her what more you can possibly do to make her happy considering everything you do pisses her off, let her know that you will treat others with respect and want the same treatment back from everyone, let her know that its okay to tend to her mothers needs but your family and child come first. Let her know that you love her and have been doing as much as you can to help and if you could do more you would. Explain that the happiness of your child and the relationship with her are you main concerns. Some people are stubborn and dont like to say sorry or just have a hard time being wrong and i can speak first hand with that. But when you know you did something wrong you need to apologize wether you like it or not. Explain to her that if things keep going the way they are that its to stressful for your child. If she doesnt want to listen and continues to fight i would then mention maybe counseling to her. If she absolutely wants to be difficult then mention divorce. Ask her if thats what she wants. See what she says and tell her that will happen if things dont start to change. To do some things to help seniors out is a good thing but when they can get around fine they can handle some things on their own. Your family is who you need to tend to and if she has a problem with that she should go help her mother out. I think you are doing great and put your foot down. Dont let her or her mom walk all over you. Be a good parent and make sure your child is happy and healthy and if things are constantly going to be stressful because she just cant give up the b*t*hing the child should not be in that type of environment. Stay strong and take care of that baby! Good Luck!
I would say you are headed for divorce. If her mother needs so much attention, why not get her into a senior citizen complex with assisted living or her mother can hire someone to cook and clean for her a few hours everyday or a couple days a week. You and your wife need to work out your issues w/o your families being involved. My mother-in-law has tried to cause problems with my husband and me I just started to ignore her and things are now better between my husband and me. He is even starting to see some of her antics.


GOOD LUCK.
Well I think that you should talk to your pastor and seek marriage counseling before you call it quits. You did make those vows. I understand that you are concerned about your child. I think that you should make every attempt possible to correct the problems, rather than just throwing your hands up. Too many people give up, I realize that the situation is tough, but the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Remember that everyone deserves mercy! Stick to the commitment you made and work to make your marriage better rather than walking away. God Bless
have a serious talk with your wife... and work it out... tell her whats the problem and what is already going on in your marriage life.. i am not married but i can see a happy family like mine with my parents who are loving to their children... discuss the situation and try to solve it. but! if ur wife do not allow herself to participate and think for ways for both of u to have a happy family then u do not deserve her..