Just started a divorce....advice..?

So..I just found out my husband was cheating on me again. We have a 3 year old daughter together. We have had problems for awhile..but a couple days ago it got super bad. My daughter and I have moved into a 1 bedroom apartment and living is going to be very tight for awhile. I guess I just need some words of encouragement! Anything!?Just started a divorce....advice..?
You are doing the right thing. Trust is a corner-stone to all relationships. If you can't trust your husband, you shouldn't be together. Also take heart in that you are showing your daughter how to be strong and take care of yourself. That will go a long way.





Good luck!!!


*hug*Just started a divorce....advice..?
Congratulations on standing up for yourself! That is difficult.





Now, you need to take care of yourself and daughter. I'd look into legal council. Not neccesarily to get mean, even, or to even let him know. Instead, just find your basic rights.





For example, you moved out. In a divorce, the financial burden cuts both ways. So, if you were married during the purchase of the house, you likely own half of the equity. The same goes with retirement funds and other properties.





If you were dependent upon his income, you may be entitled to alimony in some states. At the least though, settle on who's to be the costodial parent - that's the one with the day-to-day responsibilities for looking after the child. The non custodial parent will likely have to fork over 20-25% of after tax income + insurance benefits. Again this depends on the state.





As to visitation, it's a difficult and uphill battle to fight against visitation priveliges. Unless you can prove neglegence or abuse, the judge will probably ignore you. Judges aren't interested in your wider lives - like how many people you sleep with. Their interest is in making things fairly peaceful, keeping the child cared for, and trying to keep everyone involved.





The judge will be very interested in how well you keep your temper and whether you can be mature. Subtle manipulation won't work on a judge - he's seen it all.





His interest is in the child and if you act poorly, it reflects on your paranting ability. Many judges send you to a parenting class to give you tools to ease the transition for your child. Again, he's MUCH more interested in the child's well being than your's


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Its good you left him. He's a no good cheater and cheaters never change. Don't go back no matter how hard it gets





Remember Your daughter does't understand why things are changing in her life and it is very important not to bad mouth him in fron of her. no matter how much of a doushe he is he is still her father. that could come around and bite you in the ****.





Let him see her if he wants but dont let him take her anywhere till there is a custody order. If he takes her with your permission and doesn't give her back its not kidnapping till there is a custody order. And always have a friend around when he is around.





And no matter how hard it is be nice!! you have a kid to think about here
I have been there. I left my cheating husband with our 9 month old daughter. Went to school full time and worked full time. I won't lie, it was hard....thankfully I had my parents and a great daycare otherwise I would've lost my mind.


You can do it. Don't let his selfish behavior drag you down. I know how hard it is to move on, I had to continuously remind myself of his actions - that gave me the fire to fight and keep going.


It will be tough but apply for EVERY SINGLE government program you can. That is why they're there....use them. You work, you've paid your taxes, now when you need help take it. WIC, Food stamps, and be sure to get him to pay child support....all that will help.
Good for you for dumping a cheater! You made the right decision for your daughter, because she will get the message someday that cheating is WRONG and nobody should put up with it.





You may not have much money, but you have infinite love to shower on her!
my advise is to let him suffer for a few weeks.. see if he comes beggin or crying back 4 you.. if he does.. go back to him.. he should have learned his lesson.. don't get divorced.. u will lose out in the end.. as well as ur daughter who won't have a father.
Just move on with your life with your daughter and be thankful that your away from this loser.





You will get thru this just fine and hopefully 1 day you will meet a man who will love and respect you enough to be faithful.
You have taken the first and hardest step. Continue to focus on you and your child's life.


You are doing the right thing. Everything will fall into place.
just think that theres still a good life ahead of u.why dont u do some activities that can make u forget the trauma of ur divorce or maybe find a job that can make u busy.