Depending on where you live you may be able to avoid a contested divorce. Where I live we have a thing called a no fauld divorce. The thing you need to be most concerned about is custody of the children, really try to work out a custody thing and by all means do not, I can not stress enough, DO NOT use the kids as weapons against each other. It sounds as though you are being truthful. What he needs to realize, and perhaps you too, is that there is no future in trying to keep some one who dosn't want to be with you (him)
Luck and Fare wellGonna file for divorce, any advice and suggestions much appreciated?
You should go to a Women's Resource Center and ask for help. There are places like the YWCA that offer Transitional Housing for Women who are being abused and need a safe place. There are community health centers that provide counseling == not Marriage counseling, rather personal support and help for you and your children. You need to get this abuse Documented. You can ask an attorney to take you on pro bono and you can ask an attorney to demand that your spouse pay the legal fees since you can't afford it. You should start speaking to the people in the community who are there FOR you not against you. Talk to Women's Shelter counselors and get people involved that can back you and support you as well as help you to get back on your feet. Don't waste another moment -- start packing your stuff, call your mom and sister and make arrangements to get away. You will be happier, you will have to work hard, but you will show your children that people deserve to be treated with respect. Set the standard, don't settle for less, you deserve to be safe and live in peace.
you're doing all the right things. you are taking legal action, keeping you and your children safe, making sure you have a place to live and talking to people who will listen...divorce is expensive, but staying married is worse than any amount of money, i was there too. just remember that things are replacable, people are not. who cares if you get all the things from the house you think you want, i replaced most of them anyway because they reminded me of the past too much. take care of yourself, physically and emotionally. your kids really need you to be strong now. good luck
IF HE WAS ABUSIVE TO YOUR CHILDREN AND YOU WASNT THAT ENOUGH TO TAKE THEM AND LEAVE??IF YOU DONT CARE ABOUT YOURSELF..YOU SHOULD OF PUT YOUR CHILDREN FIRST AND TAKEN THEM AWAY FROM HIM..FILED THE DIVORCE PAPERSAND SHOW HOW HES ABUSIVE..AND GET A RESTRAINING ORDER..YOU DIDNT SAY BUT HE WILL FIGHT FOR CUSTODY I ASSUME AND WHAT WILL YOU DO THEN%26gt;%26gt;??? YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW TAKE THE CHILDREN AND GO THENTAKE CARE OF THE LEGAL PART OF THIS..IF HE IS ABUSIVE TO YOU AND THE CHILDREN WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO TO THEM WHEN YOUR NOT AROUND AND HE HAS THEM FORVISITATION...??
IN THAT CASE YOU NEED TO ASK FOR SUPERVISED PROBATION... IF THERES DR..HOSPITAL ETC REPORTS FROM HIS ABUSIVNESS THEN GET COPIES OF IT ALL...AND YES YOU DO NEED COUNSELING..NOT FOR THE BOTH OF YOU BUT FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN...AND IM SORRY DONT MEAN TO SOUND MEAN BUT..YOU ALLOWED HIM TO BE ABUSIVE TO YOU AND YPOUR CHILDREN WHEN YOU STAYED ALL THESE YEARS ...SO NOW YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG AND GET YOURSELF AND THEM AWAY FROM HIM....THERE ARE WOMENS SHELTERS ALL ACROSS AMERICA..CALL ONE..ITS A TOLL FRE NUMBER AND YOUR INFORMATION IS KEPT SECRET..EVEN IF YOU TAKE YOUR CHILDREN TO A SHELTER THEY PROTECT YOU AND THEM..AND WILL HELP DURING YOUR DIVORCE...
I went through legal aid and it wasnt contested and it went on for a year and a half. you are in for along hard ride but you really need to get your ducks in a row. Like tape conversations get a book and record everything he does or says. Make sure you have shelter and means of support for you and your kids ask for what you need and want but dont be shelfish and it will look better on you. And no matter what DONT lose your composer infront of anyone like lawyers or judges. Or your x any one that it can come back to haunt you. Also don't call him unless you absolutly have to and if he starts fussing hang up or tape it. Be on your gaurd it can get very ugly. As for lawyers there all different so stick to the one you have cause all there answers may be different.
DO NOT put anything in your name such as a house,car or anything property wise i don't know what state you are in but alot of states would say he is entitled to half of everything you got while you where married i am going though a divorce myself check your laws to be sure or you could end in a mess
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