What is some good advice for someone getting a divorce?

My wife %26amp; I have agreed to get divorced, but we're not even sure where to begin! 1 income instead of 2, child support, joint custody...so much to think about!What is some good advice for someone getting a divorce?
Well, funnily enough, after divorce, things seem to fall into place naturally. You have to actually do it before things become clear. Thinking about it will only delay the inevitable. Maybe the two of you are looking at all the financial aspects because you really dont want to get a divorce....Maybe both of you are making excuses to go through with it.





Like I said, untill you do it, then all sorts of problems will arise in your mind. You just have to take every day as it comes and realize there is still a lot of grieving to be done.What is some good advice for someone getting a divorce?
If there's no way to get the marriage back, then I would agree since you have children to be civil to each other, treat each other politely at all times. NEVER badmouth each other to your children, and try to force them to take sides.
See if u have Legal aid your area. Talk to them. U can do it yourself too. Get a dissolution its cheaper but u have to agree on everything.
take your name off of all accounts, drag it out so things can be civil and it'll be cheaper, get what you want now, divorce papers cannot change for 2 years after.
It seems like an amicable breakup. If that is the case, make sure that you can both try to work things out BEFORE you get lawyers. Don't fight for what you really don't want, and be nice. If things get dirty, consult every good lawyer you can think of, that way she can't get the lawyer.





First you should make the arrangements in separation of your house, bills, cars, life insurance, stocks, anything financial. Lawyers cost a lot of money, and that would save you tons. Usually the husband pays for the wife's lawyers fees.





Then after you can start with the child support, visitation and all that. I always believed that if a couple owns a home, they should sell it and split the equity, but that's just me. if you have more than 2 cars, sell and split.





Joint custody, make it as easy for the kids as you possibly can. Is it posible for you to start leaving the house little by little instead of altogether? Like get a place, then sleep over there one night a week with the kids. Then go back, in a few weeks make it 2 days, and so on and so forth. It would be easier for them, and you. Also try to go to counseling with the kids, so they know that it's not a bad thing, and it's not their fault. Avoid fighting in front of them, and never put down the other parent.





I don't agree with letting the kids chose who they live with because this causes them to play games with the parents. One parent said no you can't get a tattoo, so the kid goes with the parent who would be more likely to let them get it. Keep the same rules in both homes, so their stability doesnt spin out of control. Also they dont deserve to have that burden on them. They will always feels guilty about it, as if they were forced to make the adult decisions, and betraying one parent.
Well if you both feel this is the best then first you both need to at least stay civil to each other if kids are involved. You don't have to like each other be you really need to at least keep things civil. Don't try to get revenge on each other and don't use your kids to get back at the other one. Their the ones that will get hurt in the end. If your the one with the income then she'll just have to do like the rest of us and get a job! She can't live and support the kids on just child support. There's rent / house payment, electric bill, water bill, gas, car payment maybe, car insurance, Health insurance [ at least for herself if your will to keep them on your coverage ] Joint custody is great for you both, but is it the right thing for the kids. 6 months with you, 6 months with her. Moving them back and forth and back and forth. I mean really?? They need to be in a steady environment where they can get use to the idea of mom and dad not being together any more. They don't need to feel pulled between you both. Everything you both decide to do needs to be for the kids and about the kids. You may ask them who they want to live with and don't feel hurt or mad that they choice the other. And then let them know they can live with the one they want. Sometimes the boys want to be with dad and the girls with mom. Just let them have a choice without feeling that they've hurt you or your disappointed in them.And be there for them, always. Not part time. Let them be number one in all the decisions made here.
Try to stay strong and if he/she divorced you start dating or act like theres some one on the side don't be afraid to play the game with him/her. If you divorced hem/her stay away from that person and don't feel bad live your life not his/hers
When my daughter and her husband divorced, I gave them both the same advice.





!. Get a good lawyer


2. Keep the kids out of the middle of it.
I have no advice, apparently you two are in good terms, good luck.
Yes - you have a lot on your plate right now, and it will be hard, but one step at a time and you will work it out. You are very lucky that both of you are in agreement. If you can make this run as smoothly as possible, all of you will come out with a lot less grief than when couples are in a constant state of arguing over things. Lawyers make huge profits on this - so hopefully you won't put any more money in their pockets than is necessary.





The best advice I can give you, regarding the children is that they should come first and foremost. Just because you two can't work it out, please don't allow them to suffer in the mix. That is one of the biggest mistakes people make and the ripple effect runs deep.