I don't want a divorce just advice and help to save my marriage ?

my husband and i been married for a year now he cheated on me it hurts very badly what hurt the most is that the woman he had an affair with knew he was married i know that i shouldn't blame her i husband had something to do with it also if we got a divorce what are the chances that this relationship will lastI don't want a divorce just advice and help to save my marriage ?
You're rite in the fact it was a 50/50 deal on both their parts. He knew what he was doing when he did it. He broke your trust %26amp; respect for doing it. Of course it hurts, I know too well as I've been there. You can forgive, but you never forget. Are you sure you still love him? This is a very hard thing to overcome %26amp; you'll always have the feeling of mistrust w/him. IF you're going to stay w/him, he'll have to prove himself to you. He went against your marriage vowels. He disrespected you %26amp; your love for him. If you fell you can no longer trust or respect him, I would have a talk w/him %26amp; tell him just how you feel. Don't waste yrs. w/someone you no longer love. You CAN find happiness again, you can find someone who w/love %26amp; respect you. Talk it over %26amp; see what you feel would be best for YOU. I DO wish you the very best...:)I don't want a divorce just advice and help to save my marriage ?
The first step to getting through this is to know how you feel and where you stand within yourself, your first statement about not wanting a divorce is a strong one considering what you are going through. The next step is to work out how your husband feels, is he sorry? is he wanting to fix his mistakes? my husband and I have been married for 2 yrs and the key to our happiness is communication no matter how much it hurts sometimes you just have to talk about the things that are wrong in your relationship in order to know what to do about it. Talk to him but take your time you will most likely have many late nights and sleepless nights at that, believe me love can work through this. find out what he wants to do and the power then is in your hands.
To be honest with you, most people who suggest for you to walk away are single or have not been cheated on before.





i am not in anyway condoning what he did and it's his fault, not hers (she is not married to you, he is), and I'm glad you know that it's his fault. The other part is that it is too early to be cheating in a marriage, and that does not look good. To me, it does look like the relationship will not last, but then there could be a sign of individuality being challenged.





I would suggest you get some counseling with him on how to deal with that.
Dear heartbroken, My heart goes out to you and I am sorry for the pain that you feel. Only you can decide if your marriage is going to last. Is your husband truly sorry and do you believe he will not do it again? If so then he will do anything to make you happy and your marriage work since he was the dog that was unfaithful and disrespectful to you and your marriage. If he is sorry then he will take responsibility for his actions and his actions from here on out will speak for them self. I am not proud of this but I was at a employment Christmas Party and had to much to drink and things happen that shouldn't of. The guilt was more then I can handle and I told my wife. I felt terrible and I did anything I could to save my marriage but my actions had to speak for them self and trust had to be built over a long period of time. Not my time but her's. Was he honest and did he tell you or did you find out. It's really two different issues. The cheating on you and then the honesty of telling you. Divorce is hell but you can do it with family, friends, and for me God. I wish you the best and will keep you in my prayers.
It will take time, counseling and full commitment on the part of both of you to make this work. It can be done but I don't recommend trying to go it alone. You need a neutral third party (counselor) to help the two of you work through it all. And, again, you will both need to be fully committed to working this through. He must be willing to understand and not try to minimize what you're feeling and you'll have to get to a point of forgiveness and trust him again. It wil be difficult, but it can be done.
if you both get into a bible based church and remain commited it has a very good chance of survival, remember God hates divorce He also hates adultery, so He is on your side, be on His side.


Also that girl is partly to blame, your husband and her.


a girl wanted my husband to leave me and our baby many years ago to live with her, but he din't. your husband din't cheat all by himself.






This is hard to get over. I have tried many times (was cheated on by both my ex husbands) and its just such a deep, scarring pain....one that most cannot forgive.


It seems that some women today consider it a challenge to ';win'; or ';get'; a married man. Its so disgusting that these ';women'; need to do these things to make them feel better about themselves.


First you need to know it has nothing to do with you. You could be perfect, and he would still cheat if he really wanted to.


I suggest counceling, this may be the only way to get over it and heal. However as far as continuing the relationship, I would make sure that he gets counceling as well. Its rare that cheaters only cheat once, despite what they promise or say....
If all the men who cheat are divorced from their wives, the big pool of available men for marriage would be about formed by ex cheaters. Besides cheating, if he is a good husband, manage your differences so you can reconcile with your husband. Why would you leave him for someone else benefits? and do you know who you are going to meet and fall in love with, maybe an ex cheater thrown out?
I wish the best for you. You need to blame your husband not the woman. Your husband is the one that made the commitment to you, not her. But shame on her for being with a married man. Trust and believe if he cheats on his wife he will surley cheat in that relationship as well. That relationship will surley fail since both have no respect for a relationship
Hate to tell you, he probably lied to her to get with her. Men show you how they feel about you not tell you. If he is sincere about making it up, he will, if doesn't care, it will show. If he acts like he doesn't care, he doesn't and he is still looking to do better.





You deserve a good partner and I am sure have plenty to offer the right person that will appreciate it.
Why would you want to stay with a man that didn't have enough love and respect to stay away from her? If you want to save your marriage then forgive and forget but don't stay with him because your dependent on him. You should show him that you don't need him.
You might as well let her have him. It's early, just get out before you have kids with this loser and he does it again. That will TOTALLY hurt you after you've had his babies. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
ditto to Prego with a little Princess. move on. it is not meant to be. Sex does not equal love. Someone else will appreciate YOU for who YOU are. Leave.
I wouldn't even try to work it out


unless.........


you put an ultimatum


make your rules


if he loves you he will try and make things work
Why women think they need to stay with a cheater is something I will never understand.