Anyone who has been through a divorce...some advice please?

My brother in law has been having marital issues for a few months now, his wife told him recently there is no hope, all avenues have been tried, and it is over-for good.


What can we do to help with through this time? Anyone who has been through this before-what helped you the most and made you feel better, and what was frustrating to you or that you did not want to hear or do, etc.





Any opinions appreciated, we just want to do all we can to help him through this, he is still very much in love with her (only married a few years and just recently had a child)Anyone who has been through a divorce...some advice please?
When my ex husband attempted to murder me and then kill himself.... and failed at both... because he is a loser...





The thing that pissed me off the most was MY family.... Mom and Dad... offered to let him move in with them... He did move in with my Sister and her hubby for several months....





No matter what it is... right or wrong... you take his side. Don't make him feel like he has no one left.





If not for my children. I'd never made it thru my divorce.Anyone who has been through a divorce...some advice please?
well what helped the most is good friends and family ,the only thing that bothered me was people constantly bad mouthing them in front of me , it got on my nerves , alot the thing is once in a while i might say something about him that was not good but , since i was with him forever 5 years and 6 mos i can say something about him if i want , it is just different if someone who wasn't there when we were happy talks BS about him , it is kind of a double standard, but that is the way it is ,so don't talk bad about her to him it will just make him angry , just be there for him and listen while he talks about her i promise he will and when he does it will drive you crazy , but you just do what you can and do not try to hook him up anytime soon he'll probably go out w/ whoever you try to hook him up with but it will be terrible because he'll just talk about his wife and be very depressing trust me it will not turn out well , so just hangout w/him be a friend do what you can , and wait to see what he is going to do , and good luck
I know that what helped me was my friends inviting me out of the house..... not in a nagging way, and not with couples. That was just too hard on me. All in all, it will just take time for him to adjust to this particular thing.
The best thing you can do is to be there for him and to listen to him when he needs to talk. Take the emotion out of it when you give him advice. Stick to the facts and do not allow him to wallow in depression and sorrow and do not enable any type of negative behavior such as drinking because that does not help in situations like this. Make sure that his is taking his responsibility as a father and that despite the marriage not working they still have a child to raise. Make sure that he is doing everything to end this marriage fair and equitable for both of them. This is very hard to do I know because I have gone through it and some times it takes years to get to that point but it is a worthwhile endeavor.
MM sound like its going to be a heart ach for him ...and leting go is going to be hard...the only thing is for him to give it time and ride out the wave of emotion that are coming


i had this happened to me and i had to face it that he didnt want love me anymore...and then once i was gone he started to miss me and by that time i didnt want to go back...why go back to how it was...


give your brother my e mail i am single and waiting for the right person...lolol


any how just being there for him is great to but dont bring it up let him talk to you about it...
Time is the best thing and you can not control that. What you do not need to do is treat him like he is broken and needs to be handled with kid gloves. Don't go on a bash a thon about his wife or ex wife, and let him vent when he needs to. Also, the biggest Do Not is, do not try and set him up with other women to take his mind off of her. He will come around in his own time, but do not try and push him into the dating scene, he needs to decide when he is over her enough to do that.
All you can do is tell him if he needs anything that you are there for him. He has to go through all of these emotions himself. Tell him to stay as busy as he can and do things he enjoys doing that he has not done in a very long time. Divorce is almost like losing a loved one from death. It has to run its course and he will eventually get over it. He needs to start going out and having fun being single again. Life is short.
This is tough to answer as it will be different for everyone. But here goes...





If they fight, make sure it is never, ever in front of the kid.


If they have marital property together, make sure he gets a lawyer. All property, including contents of the house should split equally 50/50, this includes any debt.





Try to be civil to each other, this makes things like the above a LOT easier.





Do not sign anything, write anything, or disclose anything regarding separation, divorce, financial matters, etc... without a lawyer reviewing it first.





The best thing I ever heard that helped me was that ';You are not the only one who has ever gone through this';





There is lots of help out there and a lot of it is free. Take advantage of it, it does help.





Hope this helps out!!
just be there for him. It is the biggest emotional roller coaster I have ever had the displeasure to experience. Having a child involved makes it even more emotional. A support system is going to be very important to him. Tell him to make sure to pick his battles. Make sure to not fight over crap that doesn't matter.
Keep him busy and always remain positive around him don't bad mouth her and try to not bring up her name. This sucks divorces always suck I went through one but then again I am a woman and I had my shopping and hefty divorce settlement and 3000 miles in between us so I bounced back pretty quick
He may need someplace to crash for a while, especially after the assets are liquidated, so offer him space if you can, till he can get a place of his own.





Give him some space, give him an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, and time to heal. Its going to be tough, but he...just like everyone else who goes through this...will mend. He just needs friends - and that's the best thing you can do for him.
Just be a good listener. Don't bring up the subject, let him do that, and let him know you are always there for him. That is pretty much all you need to do. Oh, and don't let him sit at home and sulk, take him out, unless he totally refuses.
My family was divided during my divorce. Some of my sisters thought I should stick it out longer no matter how I felt (after 6 year marriage). It really hurt that they didn't seem to care how I was feeling. It is nice for people to ask how you're doing or if they can help, but don't be smothering. The divorce is not the only thing he has going on in his life to talk about. Take cues from him as to when he is feeling up to discussing it or if he feels overwhelmed sometimes. Don't worry if he needs to be alone sometimes to think or to sulk in private. He's lucky ot have family that cares so much!
I've been divorced and now Im remarried to a wonderful man.





The best thing that the family can do is to be his support system. Do not walk on eggshells when he's around and do not mention her name unless he mentions her name or atleast until he's over her.





A divorce is a stressful time for everyone involved and especially when a child is involved.





Let him know to do whatever it takes to not have a custody dispute with the mom over the child. Work out a reasonable schedule where he can see the child without too much disturbuance in her life. To keep the child the center of focus and not each other. By all means, pray with him for guidance and pray for him for strength through this divorce.
Just talk is the best way to help,let him ary out his anger,fears and all. It is him who will have to pull thru,just be his friend.
Tell him that their other fish in the sea(woman).
he will probably be pretty depressed. he won't want to hear get happy or snap out of it. he won't want to throw himself into aonother relationship, so don't set him up with anyone. it will take some time for him to heal. question....if they just recently had a child, is this post partum depression on her part? maybe she just needs to talk with someone or maybe this time apart could actually help her. i don't know. was she seeing someone else? personally, i was elated when i got divorced. but that was only because i went through all the other emotions during the marriage. just involve him in happiness if you can. but not so much ';family'; time. you know? he won't want to see or hear about how great your relationship is. just say ';chin up!'; as much of a cliche as it is....one day at a time!
Only time will heal. Eventually he will meet someone else
I'm sure he now realizes that his child is the most important thing to him. He needs to keep on going for his child. He might feel lonely, so invite him and the child to any family events. Barbeques, parties, anything to show him that his familia is right there beside him.


if there's going to be a child custody battle he really needs to remember to be honest, be sweet, and most importantly KEEP IT COOL. The court wont give the child to a parent that's yelling, interupting, and fighting in the court room.


And even after all that's happened with his ex, it's impotant that he still makes peace with her. They don't have to be best buddies or anything, but he should know that even though it's over it's not really over because if they have a kid, then they are going to have to see each other when they drop the kid off at the other person's house, when the kid has parties, when they go to sport's games, music recitals, graduation, wedding, arrival of grandchildren; they will still see each other.
no different than any other break up, he needs to find a waay to be greatful... for the child, for her honesty ( rather than spending years, cheating ect..) if this is the reality then it is... sure give him some time to mourn, but then it is reality time.... get up and live... reminding him or the things he said he is greatfull for.....I never recomend counciling except fopr this one instance...