Hey guys this question is for my friend , her and her husband thinking about getting a divorce? need advice?

They have been married for 4 years... she feels like she has fallin out f love with him.. she doesnt have the same connection with him as she did when they first got together, they both have unrealistic expectations of eachother , ( which they both knew how the other one was before they got married ) Most recently he has left out of town due to his job and wont return until May .. during this time she has been talking to a man that she met a couple of months ago ( he lives out of state) she has become quite fond of him but also feels bad because she is married and doesnt want to hurt her husband . Since her husband has been gone they talk on the phone everyday for about 3 mins , she ran out of things to say to him ... adn doesnt really care if she talks to him or not ... MY QUESTION IS CAN THIS BE FIXED ,,, HE REALLY WANTS TO BE MARRIED AND SO DOES SHE BUT SHES NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM ANY LONGER !!!!!!!!!! WHAT SHOULD SHE DO .. HELP !!!!!!!!!!!Hey guys this question is for my friend , her and her husband thinking about getting a divorce? need advice?
Tell your friend that if she is not happy in her marriage then she knows her options. Marriage counciling works for some and only makes things worse for others. Those who have never been to marriage counciling would not know that.....If they both want to work on the marriage that is great. Since he is going to be gone for a couple months... this will be like a separation. Tell her that the other man should stay a friend until she figures out what she honestly wants to do with her marriage. I wish her luck.


For you just stand by her side, continue to show her support. If it turns out that her marriage cannot be saved she is going to need a friend who will stand by her.Hey guys this question is for my friend , her and her husband thinking about getting a divorce? need advice?
No it can't be fixed. Plain and simple it will only get worse trust me.
having expectations of someone else, even a small one, is a set up for a BIG let down.....





couples can make MUTUAL plans and goals, and have things in common, but expecting one person to do something because they are a man, or because they are the woman in the relationship is hogwash.





when a relationship is filled with drama and issues all of the time, there is no growth at all.... just stagnancy.





two people who accept each other at face value, make plans together, usually succeed.





take care.
If she really wanted to be married, she would not be talking to other men or becoming ';fond'; of one. Tell your ';friend'; to get divorced!
Once a person takes what should be in the home and puts it out into the street it is generally a lost cause.





Love can sometimes be put back...but only if both sides really try...my question to you...what made her fall out of love exactly...solve that one and he has a chance...





My grandmother once said...I never expected anything from your grandfather...so anything I received was a gift.





Ask both parties...do they really want each other...and how much are they willing to do to make it work out for each other...Marriage is a 200% give to 50% receive situation...on both parts...anything less is useless...
She needs to decide who she wants to be with. She cant have it both ways. She needs to either give up this long distanced fling and concentrate on reviving her love and marriage or give up the marriage and move on. Either way she needs to come clean to her husband. He may make the decision for her, especially if he feels she been cheating with this long distance relationship. It is time to choose!!!
They sound immature. When you marry, you marry that person for life, at least that's what it should be, unless there is some compelling reason, like abuse or cheating. I don't think people just fall out of love - I think, like you said, they have unrealistic expectations and think the honeymoon phase goes on forever. Marriage isn't like that every day, but it's the every day life and the ups and downs that makes a marriage strong. Your friend needs to examine her feelings on what really matters to her and also grow up a little. If she truly doesn't love him, she probably never did, and should get a divorce. If she wants to stay married to him, then she needs to figure out what's going on to cause her to feel this way and what love means to her. There might be a chance for them, if they are mature enough and they do sound like they could benefit from counseling. You're a good friend for wanting to help!
as long as she has the new guy in the picture this wont work.... she will want to test the theory of ';is the grass greener on the other side'; The worst thing she could do is have an interest in another man before making sure that she doesnt want to be with her husband .. and the fact that she doesnt want to hurt him means that she does actually care for him..





The reason they are having so many issues and a lack of communication is because they stopped talking to each other and now only talk ';at'; each other..and so their communication is failing. They stopped being friends.. marriage is hard.. and in the end u better be best friends with ur spouse or it will never work.. because in the beginning its alot of attraction, chemistry , sex etc.. then u have children, then ur busy raising them, then they grow up and go on to have their own lives and family, your looks fade, the sex slows down, you hit retirement age, where its u and ur spouse every day 24/7 and if your not best friends there wont be anything but a warm body there with out any substance to your relationship..





There are going to be days that u wake up, look at ur spouse and just totally dislike the person ur looking at.. Marriage have funks, where one minute your on a high, the next ur on a low.. and it can last for along period of time.. its a test of your vows.. its always easy to walk away from a relationship, it takes more strength to stick it out and try and make it work.. and ur friend is sabotaging her relationship by getting involved with someone else.. she'll never fall back into love with her spouse while the excitement of a new relationship is going on, problem is, she'll find that if she ends up with this guy that 4 years down the road she'll get bored again and wake up thinking she's not ';in love'; with him either.. and untill she gets a mature view on what marriage really is, she'll keep getting bored.. Marriage is hard it takes work and its not a romantic novel of excitement 24/7..
Why is she talking to another man for, while her husband's away on a job? What is the husband doing while he's away? It doesn't look like it can be fixed, because she already committed adultery by having phone conversations with another man, that's not even her husband. It seems like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. It ain't going to work, she needs to grow up and face reality. She needs to get a life and move on. Who's to say she won't do this again, if she does stay married to her husband? Well, damage is done and she should learn from this and not do it again.





Only she and her husband can only answer this question, as to what they want of out their marriage. He wants out, but she wants to stay. She should've thought about that before she got herself into this kind of mess.
If they don't want tofix it there isn't much you can do.
She needs better friends . You know the kind that don't stick there nose into her and her husbands business then when he gets home there all buddy buddy . Does that sound familiar to you ? Her husband would be better off without her and her sneaky friends around . She would even be better off without her sneaky friends . Someday she will come to realize that.
She needs to get as far a way from this other man as possible and seek counseling for herself until her husband gets back and then seek marriage counseling. Tell your ';friend'; that with the ';better'; comes the ';worse';.