Im 14 and going through a divorce for the 3rd time....any advice? ?

so my life is pretty depressing. im amazed me and my boyfriend are doing well since all relationships ive witnessed have ended horribly. my mom and dad divorced. there was a few violent fights i saw between them. my mom remarried to this other guy. they divorced and he beat her up and i was hit in the process. now my step mom and dad are divorcing due to her cheating. its pretty bad. any advice, sympathy, help?Im 14 and going through a divorce for the 3rd time....any advice? ?
I think YOU should have a say in things, as your parents are a poor judge of themslevesIm 14 and going through a divorce for the 3rd time....any advice? ?
The only advice I can give you is don't take the problems you saw with your family and apply them to your life. Now you know what not to do by being a witness to all this. The good news is by having this knowledge you can make sure your future relationships are nothing like the ones you've witnessed while growing up. You have no control over the partners your parents pick but you'll have control over any future boyfriend or husband you pick.
seriously, its no big deal.





My advice is that you mom hasn't found the right man.


She seems to be attracted to abusive men. She probably got hooked in situations she didn't do well in. the kind of men who believe women have a place or the kind of men that believe women should make less, etc.





Lots of people have this problem. The only problem i see is that your mom married too soon to all these men. That or she felt she needed to marry to fill a void or to simply give you a male role model.








You relationships donut have to be like your moms.





Its called taking it slow.








Tell your mom that shes doing okay and she'll find the right man if she knows what to watch out for. Let her know she doesn't have to keep remarrying for you, and to not do it unless she's absolutely sure she's ready.





Frankly, because of your moms fickleness, your views on relationships are distorted.
It's unhealthy for you to be in a household where abuse is happening. Have you spoken to a counselor? You need to make sure that you are going to be safe where you can develop and grow through the rest of your teenage years. You can talk to a counselor at school who can point in the right direction to seek some counseling from someone who can help you deal with all of your emotions in a healthy way. I'm sorry you're going through this, and stay strong, stay in school, stay focused, stay away from drinkings, drugs and promiscuity. Best of luck to you.
First of all, does your school have a counselor? If so, please get in their office. You really need to be able to talk to someone. You have all my sympathy. So many times parents don't consider what the kids are going to feel. Please realize that their bad choices in relationships probably will make your relationships all that much better. You have been able to view their mistakes and will know what to do with your life. PLEASE TALK TO YOUR SCHOOL COUNSELOR.
If I were you, I would go over to a friend's or your boyfriend's house for a lot of the time, maybe confide in them if things start really getting bad. Just concentrate as much as possible on the good things that are happening (like your relationship, for example) and try not to think about what's going on at home. Just remember to learn from your parents' mistakes and not do the same thing when you get older. Sorry to hear all this is happening--good luck! :)
dude, my parents are divorced and its hard. although they divorced just cuz they thought they werent going to work out, i have lots of friends who have gone through cheating parents and other problems too. u have to know that just becuz they have lives that haven't worked out and marriages that have failed, doesn't mean that u have to have that kind of relationship with someone. u just have to find someone that knows u and respects your feelings. know that and u will be fine.
sorry, there's nothing you can do. your mother has a flaw in her personality where she is only attracted to damaged men. your only option is to have yourself declared independent (emancipated) and move out, but the age this is possible varies by state. my state is 15, but other states may be older.



welcome to the year 2008.





My advice would be to stop concerning yourself with situations you have no control over..you should only worry about how you can make the best life for yourself which would include





getting an education, get a great job, wait to marry till your 30's
Sorry to hear. I think the most you can do is just keep your head up.


You can pick up a hobby or something, and when you're sad, just refocus yourself to that hobby to keep busy, while doing something you like!
just live your life your parents can handle them selves they love you get good grades dont be a bad girl like dont drugs and have sex and smoke and dumb crp like that and set a path for a good life ahead of you.
wow your life sucks! well i suggest pay attention at the bad picks they choose for bf/gf's and don't make the same mistake when you get older.


is there someone else you could live with besides them another relative that has a better influence?
hun, im so sorry this is happening to you :[


and im sorry that allll of that's happened to you.


no one deserves to go through that.


i really hope it turns out okay.


and good luck with your boyfraan.





stay strong x_o
Try becoming an adult before becoming a wife . You have so much more that you could be working on school and friends and life experiences.
Move out once you turn 18, that's the only logical choice. I apologize for these events, but try and get out of the house as much as possible.
Just relax and remember that you don't have to make those mistakes yourself.
Well, at least you know what NOT to do in a marriage.
well theres not much u can do at ur age but learn from what u r going through, sorry sweetie
O MG, I'm going through the same thing.


This is exactly what has happened to me my whole life except I'm the 20 year old version of you basically. Well, I don't know if everything was exactly the same though. Right now I have a 16 year old sister, who was about your age when I lived with my mom and step dad....ex step dads, etc. I was the REBEL child all the way. I used to sneak out of my window to go see my bf. I had been in alot of relationships and they were better than the ones my mom was in. My relationships have lasted no less than 1 year which is pretty good. My relationship status now though is 3 years and going and I live with the guy 8 hours away from my mom. I think when you go through an experience of seeing your mom get hit and seeing so many divorces you get to a point where you can hold relationships a lot better for yourself cause you notice how you don't wanna end up like that yourself.





Also about the whole dad situation. My mom and dad was never married; let's just say my mom had me when she was 15 years old. My dad was married to my step mom for 15 years and I was very attached to her, she took the place of my bitchy mother. I never got to live with them very much until I was 17, 4 months from being 18. The day I turned 18 though I was living with my mom again and I turned 18 on christmas day, opened my presents, and left to go live with my former bf that day.





But back on the subject of my dad and step mom. Well, last year I just found out that my step mom had cheated on my dad. My dad was a total wreck for a long time and we became closer after that. After all that time and 3 kids together they divorced. It was really sad seeing my dad want to hurt himself because of it. He even was going to go and kill the guy and then kill himself after wards, but I talked him out of it. So my life has been a pretty sad story, but I don't regret it for anything, because if that wouldn't of happened I wouldn't be with the most wonderful guy in the world right now. My life would probably be on a different path, but I have to say that if that wouldn't have happened then I also wouldn't be a person who needs so much attention because I didn't get it from my mom growing up. If you need to talk just message me, I'll even give you my e-mail: frenchkristin@hotmail.com