I'm seperated, trying to stop divorce.....need advice?

my wife moved out telling me it was only for a short time, so we could work on some of our issues. when she left everything was good and she gave me no reasons why we wouldn't be back together. she didn't want a divorce, we were to see each other 3 to 4 times a week, she was to spend every friday night with me, we were to talk and work on things. but over the last 5 weeks nothing has hapened, i push and push to try to get her to talk to me and she pushes away, she never has any answeres for me about US and where were going. she's always busy or tired. what should i do? i dont want this to go into a divorce. but with her lack of actions makes me think shes not as dedicated to this marriage as i am. and just so you know our seperation has nothing to do with cheating or abuse just we both got busy and neglected each other and grew apart. am i being impatient wanting direction and answeres so soon? females advice and perspective truly wanted. i dont want to give up!I'm seperated, trying to stop divorce.....need advice?
I would have to agree with the stop pushing part. Yes women like to talk but it is hard to talk with the one that has hurt you. The easiest way I would have to say is court her again. She moved out for a reason, obviously not such a surprise since you added in your comment you grew apart. We do give lots of hints, hate to say you probably was not listening or paying attention. Write her a letter and explain to her you are willing to do anything for this marriage. Let her know how you feel in the letter and only in the letter. Think back to when you wanted her and you actualy had to work and chase her. Send her flowers to work, leave sweet messages for her about how you was just thinking of her and wanted to let her know. Don't push for her to give you answers or a resolution. If she has made up her mind on the divorce then no matter what you do you can not avoid it. For some reason unknowing to me when a couple gets married they forget that person is a person and has needs and they get the label WIFE/HUSBAND. Take away the label dear, see her as the wonderful person you fell in love with and work with that. If after a few sincer attempts to show her you love her with sweet gestures then stop. Now of course after about two or three she respondes to them then keep it up. Eventualy she will come around. FYI in my opinion it is not the whether or not she is dedicated to the marriage it is how much hurt and pain she has to work through.I'm seperated, trying to stop divorce.....need advice?
ask her what you've done wrong and what you can do to fix it. that's always a good start.
why don't you try talking with a counsler my husband and i were seperated and everytime we try working things out we would end up in the same place not solving anything. You can go to a church for marriage counsling or call your insurance company if you both want it to work it should be fine.
Truthfully, I think she told you just what you wanted to hear so that she could move out.





Think about it. If the very reason for the separation is because you grew apart and didn't spend enough time together, then why does she not want to spend time with you now? What makes even less sense is if time together is what she was seeking then why leave to begin with? Why not stay together and make more time for each other?





I'm not trying to be harsh. You need to find out what REALLY drove her to leave. And prepare yourself for the REAL answer, no matter how difficult it might be to hear.
I would say to stop pushing. If she needs time to figure things out, why are you pushing her? Nothing is worse than that. When you're together, don't talk about the relationship. Just be together; savour the moments that you do have, and wait and see what happens.
Document everything. Times and dates of phone calls, messages, everything. It was her that moved out so watch for some paperwork soon. Ask her friends what's up if possible. If they'll still talk to you. Tell them she hasn't done what she said she'd do in your relationship.
talk to her...may be u hurt her and u dont know. may be she will open up.
It sounds like she has someone else.





Give her space, and time to let this new ';relationship'; fizzle out. She will come back to you, realizing what a good husband you are.





Your marriage will be all the better. She will never take you for granted again.
Here's the deal鈥?Next time you see her, open up completely. Explain to her that you need to know what is going on with the relationship! Tell her that a marriage is a tag team and that you don't want to be left out of what's going on. You both need to open up and communicate. If she doesn't talk then inform her that the two of you will have to get a divorce since she is making NO effort to help resolve the ongoing issues with your marriage.
Your wife probably wasn't totally honest with you. She made you promises she didn't intend to keep....like getting together and working it out. If she says she's busy or she's tired, she may be...OR she may just not love you anymore, OR she may be depressed. Depression is an illness and she'll need medical help, if that's the reason. I'd send her flowers with a note saying you want to work on your marriage and save it. When she is ready, please call you. Don't bug her after that. If you do not hear from her in a week or two, you might discuss the situation with her family members to see what she's told them. If you don't hear from her within a month, get a lawyer. It may truly be too late. I am sorry.
about the not cheating part -- do you really know for sure she hasn't-- unless she wants to get caught, you'll never know she cheated-- same as for guys-- time changes people and for the most part ,some do just grow apart but if was really meant to be , she'll come back without your pressuring her , or begging her- if was meant to be she will realize what she had and she will come back to you --- time will tell good luck